It's a refreshing day and you can see,
that the sun's going to shine for you and me.
Wake up and feel alive for a brand new day,
everything's washed and no bills to pay.
Gas tank's full and you just got paid,
and for the last three nights, you've gotten laid.
Drive through town and girls are waving at you,
get to work and there's nothing to do.
Boss sits you down and says "Relax,
on your next check we're not going to take tax.
We're going to give you a raise with full benefits,
and to pick your secretary here's a list of hot chicks.
You're paid on salary so come in when you like,
and if you make a mistake, I'll make it right.
And when everything's correct and said and through,
I'll turn around and give the credit to you.
So head on out and we'll call it a day,
and just for coming in I'll give you triple pay."

You go outside and your car is towed,
it's fifteen below and the streets are covered in snow.
You're standing without your key and the door is locked,
and from the distance you hear the sound of a glock.
Somebody's shooting so you start to run,
and now you start to wonder what happened to the fun.
You get away and there is the girl of which you scored,
she says "I'm pregnant and the baby is yours.
I just called your work to see where you were at,
the boss said no personal calls and for you not to come back.
Because me and him were together until you came along,
he thought he could trust you but guess he was wrong.
Oh also I got a call from the cops,
your daddy's been shot by the mob.
They raped your mama and kidnapped your sis,
tried to kill your annoying neighbor but they missed.
All your checks bounced and your credit cards are overdrawn,
and also a dump truck wrecked on your lawn.
It's covered in trash and it smells like shit, too,
I also got to tell ya I'm leaving you.
I'll expect child support and all of your things,
your stereo, living room suit and three hundred dollar ring.
Now I gotta go because I'm moving in with your brother,
and one last thing, you are a terrible lover."