Hey... I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole,
I'm a dirty rotten scoundrel, an asshole,
I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole,
I'm a motherfucking dick, a god damn prick,
rude, mean, inconsiderate.
I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole,
I take it as a compliment.

Get out of my way, give me my order,
you stupid fag go suck dick for a quarter.
We're done, we're through, I don't want you,
I'm bored with our sex and the things you do.
You're annoying, a bitch, a god damn whore,
and to all the people in the crowd, you're a bore.
Entertain me, damn it, I'm sick of being pissed,
I'll pull down my pants and you choose which side to kiss.
I ain't got any feelings for a god damn soul,
everyone can die because I am gold.
I'm unstoppable, awesome, unusually fit,
and I'm proud that my attitude stinks like shit,
'cause I'm an asshole.

I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole,
I'm a dirty rotten scoundrel, an asshole,
I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole,
I'm a motherfucking dick, a god damn prick,
rude, mean, inconsiderate.
I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole,
I take it as a compliment.

Take me as a joke and see if I care,
think what you think, don't stop to stare.
It's a good thing that your opinion doesn't count,
mine's the only one that does so get the fuck out.
You're talking shit about me, so I'll talk it about you,
why did your breath always smell so bad... ew.
Your urine infested crotch always left a bad taste in my mouth,
have you ever god damn cleaned that motherfucker out?
Maybe someday I'll get my dues,
for being such an ass, but that's the route I choose.
Better than being stuck with the used and abused,
just get her drunk and watch the whore come unglued.

I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole,
I'm a dirty rotten scoundrel, an asshole,
I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole,
I'm a motherfucking dick, a god damn prick,
rude, mean, inconsiderate.
I'm an asshole, I'm an asshole,
I take it as a compliment.

Words of wisdom, yeah you'll get them from me,
opportunity awaits, just wait and see.
Nice guys finish last, so ya wanna fuck?
I get blamed for it all so just shut the hell up.
Your petty crying and whining's getting old,
what used to be hot has been frozen cold.
I'm not the one, I'm just the worst,
And I want the souvenir if your appendix bursts,
heh heh, because...