However, what really annoys me is that single guys don't seem to have the ability to ask me out. I don't understand it. Every married guy I know tells me what a great wife I'm going to be, or that I'd make a great girlfriend, and they don't see why I haven't been snatched up yet. But every single guy in the whole world seems to not be interested. They'll all flirt with me, but none of them are able to follow through with asking me out.

I don't get it. I don't think I am doing anything wrong. I've tried all different tactics, from playing hard to get to basically throwing myself at guys. And it's not like I'm going for the wrong type of guy or something. The guys who are flirting are all different. They range in age from 19 to 37. (I'm 26. I can get away with that.) The only thing they all really have in common is that they flirt with me and they're nice guys, and I'd go out with them if they asked.

But my one stipulation is that I'm not going to ask them out. I've tried that in past relationships, and it never works out for me. I'm tired of being the one chasing the guy down. It's time for a guy to pursue me. That's kind of a hard thing for me to stick with when guys don't seem to want to ask me out and I want a date, but I shouldn't settle for being with someone who doesn't realize that I'm worth the effort. And really, how much effort does it take to ask someone out? It's not like I'm some nasty person who will be mean if I don't want to go out with someone. I try to be nice and sweet most of the time. I wouldn't intentionally hurt someone's feelings, so there's no chance I'd tell anybody "Eeeeeeew! I don't want to go out with you! Just the thought of that disgusts me!"

So I just don't understand boys. I'm really starting to believe that when it comes to relationships, boys are just stupid. They go for the bitchy sexpot types. I'm not saying girls are any better, with the whole "bad boy" thing. But I'm not focusing on girls here. In case you haven't noticed, this message is about boys. So please don't come back at me with how stupid girls are. I won't argue. People in general are stupid about relationships. But there are exceptions to every rule, and I am trying to be an exception to the stupid girl rule. I'm just having no luck finding my exception to the stupid boy rule.

I thought I'd found him for a while. Now I think he was just a temporary exception. Then the stupidness came back with a vengance, and he decided that he never really loved me, he was just saying it because he thought it was what he was supposed to say.

Then he decided that he didn't know whether he should stay with me or go back to his ex-girlfriend, who isn't really a winner, even when you don't count the fact that the reason they broke up the first time was because she was sleeping with someone else. So he lost his opportunity to be with me.

Now it seems like all I can get are non-dates. (that's my word for times when I go out to do something fun and date-like with a guy who could be someone I'd date, but only sees me as a friend who he can flirt with). I had another non-date last night. It started out as a group thing, then ended up just being me and these two guys, both of whom were single and flirty. Before the evening started, I thought one of the guys was going to be my non-date because we'd actually gone out on dates before. But then he was being a bit immature, and the other guy paid for my meal and made sure I knew I was invited to his house to watch movies after dinner, so the focus of the non-date kind of switched in the middle. And still I came away with nothing. No future plans to get together with either guy. Neither one seems to be interested in me as anything more than a friend that they can flirt with. And it's not even affectionate flirting. I'll probably never even get to cuddle with either of them.

Some of my married guy friends have told me that I intimidate boys because I know what I want. They've said that because I'm not willing to lower my values to find a guy I'd have to change, guys are afraid to ask me out. Because I have confidence in myself and what I'm doing with my life, and because I have changed lots of things to make myself a better person, guys are intimidated.

Why? Why is it scary to be with someone who has self-confidence? Do guys really want a naive little airhead who they can take care of and be in charge of?

Why? Why would you want to be with someone who either has no life experience, or has life experience, but just hasn't learned from it? I can see not wanting to be with someone who is always right and has to have their way all the time. That's no fun. But I'm not that way. One of my friends told me that my ability to be sweet and innocent and dominating at the same time is what he thinks scares guys off. I don't see myself as dominating at all. But I guess I just don't understand boys.

Maybe I'm better off being single, until I find a boy that I can understand. Personally, I'd rather be single than be with someone who doesn't know what they want, anyway. But it'd really be nice if I had someone to cuddle with while I'm waiting for Mr. Right.