 This is an email sent to me by a good girl friend (notice the space between "girl" and "friend") of mine who went out with one of my best friends and former roommate. They had broken up and they weren't getting along and she sent this emotional email to me. |
This Is The Story of a Girl What can I say? What can I do? How do I make it all better? I am sooo lost right now with no where to go and no where to turn. The feelings going through me right now are unexplainable. I wanna jump off the highest peak, I wanna take off and never come back, I wanna crawl into a hole and stay there....... I wanna hold him, kiss him, tell him how much I love him, tell him how much he means to me, and never let go of him. What the fuck is going on? Someone please fill me in. One day everything’s wonderful.. perfect.. oh wait there is no such thing as perfect I guess. In my hands I hold all the notes he wrote me, he said he loved me, he said he cared for me, he said that when he was with me everything was suddenly ok. I walk in his room - didn’t even look at me. What did I do? WHAT DID I DO? He ignores me, starts packing his stuff. I stand in the doorway, he tells me to move (or let him through), however he put it I just know it was serious. What did I do? Say something to me. Tell me everything will be okay. I’m scared. He’s never been this upset. He’s always been able to talk to me even if he just said nothing at all. His heart tells me the most. It’s all unclear now. I can’t read his mind or his heart tonight. What is he thinking? Are we over? I love him sooo much. I have never ever felt this way about anyone. I’d do anything for him, if I only knew what to do this time. Somebody help me. Something’s not right. What did I do? I don’t wanna break up. Now I start yelling.. "what did I do?" , "what’s wrong with you?" , "say something to me" , "don’t do this to me". He finally yells back What the fuck do you want me to say? AHH the tears come rolling down.. my heart’s slowly breaking down the middle. I never knew I could love someone so much and now I don’t wanna live just thinking we might be over. I slam the door walk out look in the other room and just about break down. What did I do? What did I do? They say it’ll be okay... he’s just mad. They say we’ll be fine he just needs to cool off. I don’t think that’s what’s gonna happen. I can’t stop crying now... can barely catch my breath. I gotta leave. I can’t stay and cry my eyes out anymore. Driving home I’m scared.. .. crying.. not paying attention to anything around me. Oh look there’s a bridge, wonder what would happen if I ramped it? No wait I’m not suicidal.. could never do that. Calm down Ashlee everything will get better he just needs time..Woah that totally didn’t help at all. What did I do? Why can’t he talk to the only person he said he could anymore? I love him. I really love him. I don’t wanna live without him. After 2 1/2 months I’m completely in love with him and wanna be with him for the rest of my life. He’s everything to me, the only thing keeping me going right now. Don’t leave me now babe. Don’t do it please. Think things through, think about what you always tell me, think about how much you say you love me, think about how much I love you. I’m not about to give up yet. Please I’m in tears on my knees don’t do this. Tell me everything will be ok. Hold me, hug me, kiss me, tell me you love me.... Anything do something to let me know. I’m going crazy here not knowing what is gonna happen tonight, or tomorrow, or the next day. Somebody help me. Somebody make him see. |
