526.Don't be a sexist, broads hate that. 
 527.Don't be afraid to drive a nail in the wood! 
 528.Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say. 
 529.Don't blame me, I voted for Mickey Mouse. 
 530.Don't buy furs, it takes trees to make protest signs. 
 531.Don't byte off more than you can multiplex. 
 532.Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up! 
 533.Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers. 
 534.Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT. 
 535.Don't do what I SAY, do what I mean! 
 536.Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out. 
 537.Don't just do something ... stand there!
 538.Don't let school interfere with your education. 
 539.Don't look at me in that tone of voice! 
 540.Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you. 
 541.Don't mess with Murphy. 
 542.Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. ... ALL RIGHT, NOW PANIC 
 543.Don't play stupid with me! I'm better at it. 
 544.Don't press the keys so hard! 
 545.Don't read everything you believe. 
 546.Don't rush me. I get paid by the hour. 
 547.Don't speak now, and forever hold your peace. 
 548.Don't start with me. You know how I get. 
 549.Don't steal. The government hates competition. 
 550.Don't stop posting, a good laugh breaks up my day nicely 
 551.Don't sweat it -- it's only ones and zeros. 
 552.Don't talk unless you can improve the silence. 
 553.Don't thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure... 
 554.Don't try to saw sawdust. 
 555.Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. 
 556.Don't use no double negatives. 
 557.Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo. 
 558.Down with categorical imperative! 
 559.Down with ignurance! 
 560.Downgrade your system for only 89 dollars! Install Windows! 
 561.Dragons love you. You're crunchy and good with ketchup. 
 562.Drama is life with the dull bits cut out. 
 563.Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing 
 564.Drilling for oil is boring. 
 565.Drink wet cement, and get completely stoned. 
 566.Drive A: format failure, formatting C: instead... 
 567.Drive C: Error, (A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (K)ick (S)cream 
 568.Dropped from my peeling lips like lousy fruit. 
 569.Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system. 
 570.Dumb luck beats sound planning every time. Trust me. 
 571.Dying is no excuse. Nixon in 96. 
 572.Dyslexics are persona au gratin. 
 573.Dyslexics have more fnu. 
 574.Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE! 
 575.EMS: Enhanced Money Scam 
 576.ERROR 103: Dead mouse in hard drive. 
 577.ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: {SMACK} C:\> 
 578.EXPANSION SLOTS: The extra holes in your belt buckle. 
 579.Eagles may soar but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines! 
 580.Easter is canceled this year. They've found the body. 
 581.Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway ... 
 582.Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy 
 583.Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it? 
 584.Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks. 
 585.Ego Gratification through Violence 
 586.Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. 
 587.Email me the rules, please! 
 588.Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery. 
 589.Enjoy me, I may never pass this way again. 
 590.Enough research will tend to support your theory. 
 591.Ensign Pillsbury: He's bread Jim! 
 592.Enter that again, just a little slower. 
 593.Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door. 
 594.Eschew obfuscation! 
 595.Even in this corner of the galaxy, Captain, 2+2=4 ... Spock 
 596.Even snakes are afraid of snakes. 
 597.Even the greatest of whales is helpless in the middle of the desert 
 598.Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I... 
 599.Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 
 600.Ever wonder why Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo? 
 601.Every man's work is a portrait of himself. 
 602.Every purchase has its price. 
 603.Every why hath a wherefore. 
 604.Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. 
 605.Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. 
 606.Everyone has photographic memory...some don't have film! 
 607.Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid 
 608.Everyone is entitled to my opinion. 
 609.Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner. 
 610.Everyone's expendable...and no one has a real friend 
 611.Everything bows to success, even grammar. 
 612.Everything in our favor was against us. 
 613.Everything that is not mandatory is forbidden. 
 614.Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. 
 615.Evil always triumphs over good, because good is STUPID! 
 616.Exceeding the legal fun limit on a regular basis 
 617.Excellent time to become a missing person. 
 618.Excuse me while I dance a little jig of despair 
 619.Excuse me while I sharpen my tongue. 
 620.Experience is a good teacher but her fees are high... 
 621.Experience: a name everyone gives to his mistakes. 
 622.Exploding piglets!!! My gosh, it's raining bacon! 
 623.Exxon Suxx. 
 624.F.A.R.T....Fathers Against Radical Teenagers 
 625.FATAL SYSTEM ERROR: Press F13 to continue... 
 626.FIGHT BACK! Fill out your tax forms with Roman numerals. 
 627.FILE COPIED. I THINK? 
 628.FLOPPY DISK: Serious curvature of the spine. 
 629.FOR SALE: 1 set of morals, never used, will sell cheap. 
 630.FORD: The Heartbreak of today's Chevrolet! 
 631.Fact is solidified opinion 
 632.Facts Just Get In The Way And Impede Progress. 
 633.Facts are stubborn things. 
 634.Fad: In one era and out the other 
 635.Familiarity breeds attempt 
 636.Familiarity breeds children. 
 637.Famous last words - Don't worry, I can handle it. 
 638.Famous last words - Icarus: Aaaahhhhhhhhh. 
 639.Famous last words - You and what army? 
 640.Faster than a speeding ticket! 
 641.Fat Wars: May the Sauce Be With You. 
 642.Fat person: Nutritional Overachiever 
 643.Fatal Error Using Mouse. Replace and Bury Operator. 
 644.Features should be discovered, not documented. 
 645.Feel lucky???? Update your software! 
 646.Felines... nothing more than felines... 
 647.Fer sell cheep: IBM spel chekker. Wurks grate. 
 648.Fife. n. Small shrill instrument that rhymes with wife. 
 649.Figures won't lie, but liars will figure. 
 650.File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 
 651.Find your aim in life, before you run out of ammunition 
 652.First thing you do is shoot all the lawyers 
 653.Fish and visitors stink in three days. 
 654.Flames to /dev/null/here/is/a/quarter/now/go/buy/a/clue. 
 655.Flaming nuclear death to Smurfs 
 656.Flirt: A woman who thinks it's every man for herself. 
 657.Floggings will continue until morale improves. 
 658.Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist. 
 659.Folks who think they know it all bug those of us who do 
 660.Follow-ups to alt.nobody.really.cares 
 661.Food is an important part of a balanced diet. 
 662.Fools rush in where Fools have been before! 
 663.Fools rush in wherever lottery tickets are sold 
 664.For Sale: Slightly used message. Enquire within. 
 665.For at the end of history lies the undiscovered country. 
 666.For discussion only. Not to be relied upon. 
 667.For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision. 
 668.For people who like peace and quiet: A phoneless cord! 
 669.For sale, Toilet-seat cover. Barely used. 
 670.For the finest in brain candy. 
 671.Forget the Joneses...I can't keep up with the SIMPSONS! 
 672.Forget the computer! Where's my abacus?? 
 673.Forget the diet center; send yourself a candygram. 
 674.Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES! 
 675.Four minus two is one and the same. 
 676.Fraud(n): A telephone number starting with "1-900" 
 677.Free Nelson Mandela, while stocks last! 
 678.Free advice is worth what you pay for it 
 679.Free your mind ... the rest will follow! 
 680.Freedom is just chaos with better lighting. 
 681.Friction can be a drag sometimes. 
 682.Friendly fire - ISN'T ! 
 683.Friends are Friends, regardless of their baud rate! 
 684.Friends come and go, enemies accumulate. 
 685.Friends don't let friends drive naked. 
 686.Friends encourage friends to use Windows - under OS/2! 
 687.Friendship is one soul in two bodies. 
 688.Frost 
 689.Funny, only sensible people agree with me. 
 690.GURU: One who knows more jargon than you. 
 691.Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. 
 692.Gargle twice daily - see if your neck leaks. 
 693.Geez if you belive in honkus. 
 694.Genealogy = A DNA square-dance in the Thighlight Zone 
 695.General Failure reading John Dvorak 
 696.General stupidity error reading drive C: 
 697.Geoff, Brett and Todd...the BO-DYNASTY!!! 
 698.George Orwell was an optimist. 
 699.Get OS/2 2.0 - The best Windows tip around! 
 700.Get behind early so you have plenty of time to catch up. 
 701.Get the facts first - you can distort them later! 
 702.Get your filthy hands off my dessert! 
 703.Gimme back my face! You're getting it ugly. 
 704.Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it. 
 705.Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler. 
 706.Give your child mental blocks for Christmas. 
 707.Go Lemmings, Go!!! 
 708.Go shopping. Buy Stuff. Sweat in it. Return it the next day. 
 709.God created cats so that men could learn to understand women 
 710.God does not play dice. 
 711.God heals and the doctor takes the fee. 
 712.Going out of my mind, back in 5 minutes. 
 713.Going the speed of light is bad for your age. 
 714.Good day to let down old friends who need help. 
 715.Good girls go to heaven...but bad girls go EVERYWHERE!! 
 716.Goodness has NOTHING to do with it..... 
 717.Gotta love me! 
 718.Grab your helmet, get your bike, it's SHOWTIME! 
 719.Graduate Of The Uncle Fester & Keith Moon School of hair styling 
 720.Gravity brings me down 
 721.Gravity doesn't exist. The Earth sucks. 
 722.Great minds travel in the same sewers. 
 723.Greed is good! Greed is right! Greed works! 
 724.Grow your own dope... plant a man 
 725.Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!! 
 726.Grub first, then ethics. 
 727.Gun control is being able to hit your target! 
 728.Guns don't kill people... death does. 
 729.Guns don't kill people..., I kill people! 
 730.H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd! 
 731.HAL 9000: Dave. Put down those Windows disks, Dave. DAVE! 
 732.Hackito ergo sum. 
 733.Hailing frequencies open, Captain. 
 734.Hand me that crowbar... I must pry out this bullet. 
 735.Happiness is Earth in your rear view mirror. 
 736.Happiness is a warm gun. 
 737.Happiness is a warm modem 
 738.Happiness is finding special characters 

 
 739.Happiness is not a destination. It's the trip. 
 740.Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton. 
 741.Happiness is...receiving YOUR posts!!!! 
 742.Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. 
 743.Hard work must have killed someone! 
 744.Has it ever rained cats and dogs? 
 745.Hasta la vista, Baby! 
 746.Have Tardis, will travel. 
 747.Have an adequate day. 
 748.Have cursor, will curse. 
 749.Have it OUR way. Yours is IRRELEVANT. At BORGerKing. 
 750.Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem? 
 751.Have you seen Quasimoto? I have a hunch he's back! 
 752.Having Windows problems? Dial 1-800-3-IBM-OS2 for fast relief! 
 753.Having two bathrooms ruins the capacity to co-operate. 
 754.He does the work of 3 Men...Moe, Larry & Curly 
 755.He has Van Gogh's ear for music. 
 756.He who Laughs, Lasts. 
 757.He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut. 
 758.He who asks timidly makes denial easy. 
 759.He who dies with the most access, wins. 
 760.He who dies with the most toys... is *still* DEAD! 
 761.He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons. 
 762.He who hesitates is constipated. 
 763.He who laughs last is S-L-O-W. 
 764.He who laughs last probably made a backup. 
 765.He who lives by the sword laughs last. 
 766.He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end! 
 767.He who shouts the loudest has the floor. 
 768.He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise. 
 769.He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder. I'll get his wallet. 
 770.He's dim, Jed 
 771.He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged. 
 772.Heads I win... DITTO tails 
 773.Health food makes me sick. 
 774.Heisenberg slept here, I think. 
 775.Help endangered species - adopt a KGB operative. 
 776.Help fight continental drift. 
 777.Help stamp out mental illness, or I'll kill you! 
 778.Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy! 
 779.Help! I'm lost somewhere in the Generation Gap. 
 780.Help! I've been stuck in here for years and years... 
 781.Help! Police! That guy stole my .sig! STOP!!! THIEF!!! 
 782.Help!!! I'm falling and I can't click out!!! 
 783.Help, I'm slipping into the Twilight Zone! 
 784.Here today, gaunt tomorrow. 
 785.Hey! Hacker! Leave those lists alone! 
 786.Hey! This is a morgue, not an amusement park! 
 787.Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??! 
 788.Hey, CServe/Unisys! Stick it where the sun don't shine! 
 789.Hey, Worf...I hooked Data up to a Modem...Wanna see? 
 790.Hi! I can't remember your name either. 
 791.Hi, I'm from Corporate. I'm here to help you. 
 792.Hi. I'll be your tagline for this evening. 
 793.High message: 9434567. Message last read: 9. 
 794.Hills weed out the weak. Darwin would argue this is good. 
 795.Hindsight is always 20:20. 
 796.Hindsight is an exact science. 
 797.Hm..what's this red button fo:=/07Hmm...Nice tagline. SUCKER!!! AH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 
 798.Hollow chocolate has no calories 
 799.Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. 
 800.Honey, PLEASE don't pick up the PH$@#*&$^(#@&$^%(*NO CARRIER 
 801.Honeymoon Salad: Lettuce alone, with no dressing. 
 802.Honeymoon: time between "I do" and "you'd better" 
 803.Honk if you love cheeses. 
 804.Honk if you love peace and quiet. 
 805.Honk, if you have slept with Clinton. 
 806.Hors d'oeuvres--a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces. 
 807.Housework done properly, can kill you 
 808.Houston! do you read. 
 809.How come the AT&T logo looks like the Death Star? 
 810.How come there's only one Monopolies Commission? 
 811.How come wrong numbers are never busy? 
 812.How do I set my laser printer for stun? 
 813.How do you know it's summer in Seattle? Rain's warm! 
 814.How do you make Windows faster ? Throw it harder 
 815.How do you pronounce my name? With reverence. 
 816.How do you write zero in Roman numerals? 
 817.How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog! 
 818.How does one expect the unexpected? 
 819.How long is a short story? 
 820.How long will a floating point operation float? 
 821.How many consultants will fit onto the head of a pin? 
 822.How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand! 
 823.How many weeks are there in a light year? 
 824.How much can I get away with and still go to heaven? 
 825.How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 
 826.Humpty dumpty was pushed. 
 827.Hydrate or Die. 
 828.Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got. 
 829.I *LOVE* it when a plan comes together! 
 830.I BBS because no one can read my handwriting. 
 831.I Cayman went. 
 832.I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse! 
 833.I M a tru beleever in hour edukashun sistum. 
 834.I Still miss my ex-wife.....BUT, My aim is improving! 
 835.I Think....therefore I'm OVER QUALIFIED!!!!!!!!! 
 836.I love it when a plan comes together! 
 837.I admit it's offbeat, but lets not get hysterical. 
 838.I always lie. In fact, I'm lying to you right now! 
 839.I always like to try the one I've never tried before. 
 840.I am Clinton of Borg. Your income will be assimilated. 
 841.I am Homer of Borg! Prepare to be...OOooooo! Donuts!!! 
 842.I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal. 
 843.I am both of us & so are you. 
 844.I am built for comfort, not speed! 
 845.I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. 
 846.I am functioning within established parameters. 
 847.I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. 
 848.I am not an animal! I am ... well, not an animal. 
 849.I am serious. And don't call me Shirley. 
 850.I am sweet and lovable at all times. 
 851.I am the girl-next-door's imaginary boyfriend. 
 852.I am what I am and that's all that I am. 
 853.I am. Therefore, I think. I think. 
 854.I apologize to the deaf for the loss of subtitles. 
 855.I bet you I could stop gambling. 
 856.I bought a cordless extension cord. 
 857.I came, I saw, I did a little shopping. 
 858.I came, I saw, I took LOTS of PICTURES! 
 859.I came... I saw... I stole your tagline. 
 860.I can do without essentials but I must have my luxuries 
 861.I can quit anytime I want; I just don't want to! 
 862.I can resist anything but temptation. 
 863.I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving. 
 864.I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol. 
 865.I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks left! 
 866.I can't believe my computer's on fire. 
 867.I can't hear you. There's a banana republic in my ear. 
 868.I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!! 
 869.I could be arguing in my spare time. 
 870.I could have stuck with DOS, but NO. 
 871.I couldn't care less about apathy. 
 872.I didn't cheat, I just changed the Rules! 
 873.I didn't know it was impossible when I did it. 
 874.I distinctly remember forgetting that. 
 875.I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. 
 876.I do this kind of stuff to him all through the picture. 
 877.I don't care if I'm apathetic. 
 878.I don't care who you are, Fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof! 
 879.I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be. 
 880.I don't do Windows, but OS/2 does. 
 881.I don't eat snails... I prefer FAST food! 
 882.I don't hate Windows - it runs great under OS/2! 
 883.I don't have a solution but I admire the problem. 
 884.I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily. 
 885.I don't need a disclaimer. I OWN the company. 
 886.I don't think, therefore I am not. 
 887.I don't want the world, I just want your half. 
 888.I drink to make other people interesting. 
 889.I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out. 
 890.I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages. 
 891.I feel so inar-inar-inar tic-u-late 
 892.I feel the need......the need for speed! 
 893.I finally washed the mud off of mud. 
 894.I find myself beside a stream of empty thought 
 895.I float like an anchor and sting like a moth. 
 896.I get mail........ I exist. 
 897.I give advice worth the price....free! 
 898.I got arrested in LA and boy am I beat! 
 899.I guess a cynic smells different. 
 900.I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem. 
 901.I had amnesia once or twice. 
 902.I had my coat hangers spayed. 
 903.I hate quotations. Tell me what you know. 
 904.I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once. 
 905.I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers 
 906.I have a rock garden. 3 of them died last week. 
 907.I have a speech impediment... my foot. 
 908.I have already not made that point 
 909.I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence! 
 910.I have seen the truth and it makes no sense. 
 911.I have the mars observer and I'm not returning it until I get an 'A' in astronomy 
 912.I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere. 
 913.I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it. 
 914.I hear what you're saying but I just don't care. 
 915.I is a college student. 
 916.I is knot dain bramaged! 
 917.I just bought a cured ham. Wonder what it had? 
 918.I keep my .BAT files in D:\BELFRY 
 919.I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words 
 920.I know everything about everything, except that. 
 921.I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once. 
 922.I like candy, especially the gooey kind with nougat! 
 923.I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one. 
 924.I like to leave messages *before* the beep. 
 925.I like to reminisce with people I don't know. 
 926.I like to think of myself as a divide overflow. 
 927.I like your approach, now let's see your departure. 
 928.I lost a button hole today. 
 929.I lost my knickers at Niagara. 
 930.I made it foolproof. They are making better fools! 
 931.I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight. 
 932.I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up 
 933.I may not always be perfect, but I'm always me. 
 934.I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent. 
 935.I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night. 
 936.I need someone really bad. Are you really bad? 
 937.I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget. 
 938.I never met a chocolate I didn't like! 
 939.I only counted 100 dalmatians...!!! 
 940.I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go. 
 941.I parked my hard disk and now I can't find it! 
 942.I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. 
 943.I post.......... I am 
 944.I promise results, not promises. 
 945.I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person! 
 946.I remember when Saturns were rockets, not cars. 
 947.I saw, I came, I cleaned it up. 
 948.I smashed a Window and saw... OS/2! 
 949.I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he's gone. 
 950.I think I strained a muscle I didn't know I had! 
 951.I think, therefore I am. I think. 
 952.I think. Therefore I am DANGEROUS. 
 953.I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken. 
 954.I tried being reasonable once. I didn't like it. 
 955.I tried switching to gum but I couldn't keep it lit. 
 956.I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. 
 957.I tried to drown my problems but they can swim! 
 958.I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal. 
 959.I used to be disgusted, but now I'm just amused. 
 960.I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure. 
 961.I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now. 
 962.I used to have a handle on life, then it broke. 
 963.I used to spell badlie, but now I got worser. 
 964.I used to watch TV, then I bought a modem. 
 965.I wake near the end of the day. 
 966.I want .50 cal machine guns as a factory option. 
 967.I warn you not to underestimate my powers. 
 968.I was arrested for selling illegal sized paper. 
 969.I was arrested for walking in someone else's sleep. 
 970.I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off.... 
 971.I went on a 30-day diet - and lost 30 days! 
 972.I will defend to your death my right to my opinion. 
 973.I wish life had a scroll-back buffer. 
 974.I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole! 
 975.I wrote a few children's books, but not on purpose. 
 976.I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare. 
 977.I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous 
 978.I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money. 
 979.I'd like to, but last time I went I never came back.. 
 980.I'd love to, but I have to fulfill my potential. 
 981.I'd love to, but I have to rotate my crops. 
 982.I'd love to, but I have to stay home and see if I snore 
 983.I'd love to, but I prefer to remain an enigma. 
 984.I'd love to, but I think you want the OTHER Phillip. 
 985.I'd love to, but I'm trying to be less popular. 
 986.I'd love to, but I've dedicated my life to linguini. 
 987.I'd love to, but my crayons all melted together. 
 988.I'd love to, but my favorite commercial is on TV. 
 989.I'd love to, but my patent is pending. 
 990.I'd love to, but none of my socks match. 
 991.I'd love to, but there's a disturbance in the Force. 
 992.I'd love to, but you know how we psychos are. 
 993.I'd rather be bicycling! 
 994.I'll eat anything that's BRIGHT BLUE!! 
 995.I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too! 
 996.I'll get you yet, you kwazy wabbit! 
 997.I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it. 
 998.I'll tell you what's the matter! This parrot is dead! 
 999.I'm Not Schizophrenic, And Neither Am I. 
1000.I'm Serfectly Pober. 
1001.I'm a Bum...a BEACH Bum! 
1002.I'm a cowboy ... on a steel horse I ride! 
1003.I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay! 
1004.I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect. 
1005.I'm an OS/2 beta tester....I don't NEED a life! 
1006.I'm an OS/2 developer...I don't NEED a life! 
1007.I'm an absolute, off-the-wall fanatical moderate. 
1008.I'm an incorrigible punster, so don't corrige me! 
1009.I'm an influential person, gravitationally speaking. 
1010.I'm as bored as a pacifist's pistol. 
1011.I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk. 
1012.I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing. 
1013.I'm easy to please as long as I get my way. 
1014.I'm fallin' down a spiral, destination unknown! 
1015.I'm fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact. 
1016.I'm in shape ... Rounds a shape isn't it? 
1017.I'm leaving my body to science fiction. 
1018.I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes. 
1019.I'm new and what's all this then? 
1020.I'm no stranger, just a friend you haven't met... 
1021.I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing. 
1022.I'm not as dumb as you look. 
1023.I'm not broke, I'm just badly bent. 
1024.I'm not dead. I'm electroencephelographically challenged. 
1025.I'm not even going to ignore that. 
1026.I'm not fat just horizontally disproportionate. 
1027.I'm not loafing. I work so fast I'm always finished 
1028.I'm not lost, I'm "locationally challenged." 
1029.I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am. 
1030.I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right! 
1031.I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this? 
1032.I'm not real smart, but I can lift heavy things. 
1033.I'm not rude, I'm "attitudinally challenged". 
1034.I'm not schizophrenic. It's this guy beside me! 
1035.I'm not tense, just terribly alert. 
1036.I'm on the crest of a slump. 
1037.I'm out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead! 
1038.I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam. 
1039.I'm schizophrenic, What are you? 
1040.I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention. 
1041.I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes. 
1042.I'm sure it's clearly explained in the Zmodem DOC's 
1043.I'm sure it's in the manual somewhere... 
1044.I'm the person your mother warned you about. 
1045.I'm too smart to let my intelligence go to my head. 
1046.I'm turning you in to the SPCA! 
1047.I've been seduced by the chocolate side of the force. 
1048.I've got Parkinson's disease. And he's got mine. 
1049.I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called? 
1050.I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.