1.Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. 
   2.Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk? 
   3.Give me ambiguity or give me something else. 
   4.I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got! 
   5.We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. 
   6.Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. 
   7.Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! 
   8.Did anyone see my lost carrier? 
   9.Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. 
  10.I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing! 
  11.He who laughs last thinks slowest! 
  12.Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. 
  13."More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!" 
  14.A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. 
  15.Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. 
  16.There's too much blood in my caffeine system. 
  17.Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. 
  18.Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. 
  19.Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. 
  20.I won't rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it. 
  21.Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I. 
  22.Double your drive space - delete Windows! 
  23.What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free? 
  24.If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic. 
  25."Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." 
  26.Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. 
  27.Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. 
  28.Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector. 
  29.I used to have a handle on life, then it broke. 
  30.Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. 
  31.I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. 
  32.I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers. 
  33.Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot. 
  34.The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 
  35.When there's a will, I want to be in it. 
  36.Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check? 
  37.Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. 
  38.I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar. 
  39.We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? 
  40.All generalizations are false, including this one. 
  41.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 
  42.C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. 
  43."Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy. 
  44.Clap on! (clap, clap) Clap off! (clap@#&$NO CARRIER 
  45."640K ought to be enough for anybody." Bill Gates '81 
  46."90% of all statistics are made up" 
  47."A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." 
  48."A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over." - R. Frost 
  49."A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience." -Doug Larson 
  50."Apple" (c) 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve 
  51."Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton. 
  52."Bad knee, gotta run" - Pat Buchanan to his draft board 
  53."Beam me aboard, Scotty." "Sure. Will a 2x10 do?" 
  54."Beulah, peel me a grape." 
  55."Bother," said Pooh as the brakes went out! 
  56."Build a watch in 179 easy steps" by C. Forsberg. 
  57."C++" should have been called "D" 
  58."COINCIDENCE" happens. 
  59."Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman!" 
  60."Careful. We don't want to learn from this." -- Calvin 
  61."Charlie was a Chemist, but Charlie is no more. What Charlie thought was H20 was H2SO4." 
  62."Don't you hate it when your boogers freeze?" -- Calvin 
  63."Every time I've built character, I've regretted it." 
  64."Freedom defined is freedom denied." -The Illuminatus 
  65."Have you ever dated somebody because you were too lazy to commit suicide?" 
  66."Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw..." 
  67."Hmm... How *did* they finally kill Frosty?" -- Hobbes 
  68."Human equality is a contingent fact of history." -Steven Jay Gould 
  69."I believe OS/2...to be the most important OS...of all time" Gates '87 
  70."I tried to think but nothing happened!" - Curly 
  71."I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV" 
  72."I'm not smart enough to lie" - Ronald Reagan 
  73."If I knew what I was doing...I'd be dangerous..." 
  74."If the shoe fits, buy it." Imelda Marcos 
  75."Instant gratification takes too long." - Carrie Fisher 
  76."Is" is the verb for when you don't want a verb. 
  77."It is not the fall that kills you. it's the sudden stop at the end."-D. Adams 
  78."It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild dogs" 
  79."Keyboard? How quaint!" - Scotty 
  80."Luke... Luke... Use the MOUSE, Luke" - Obi Wan Gates 
  81."Mr. Worf, blow the Windows-powered Borg ship out of this Universe!" 
  82."Off the keyboard, thru the router, over the bridge, nothing but net!" 
  83."Quotations are for people who are not saying things worth quoting." 
  84."Remember when we said there was no future? Well, this is it." -- Blank Regk 
  85."Stupid" is a boundless concept. 
  86."Suicide Hotline...please hold." 
  87."The faster you go, the shorter you are" - Einstein 
  88."The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." - Mark Twain 
  89."The sun ain't yellow, its chicken." -Bob Dylan 
  90."There are lies, damned lies, and statistics." -Mark Twain 
  91."There's someone in my head, but its not me." -Pink Floyd 
  92."This is a job for.. AACK! WAAUGHHH!! ...someone else." - 
  93."To err is human, to forgive....$5.00" 
  94."Ummm, Trouble with grammar have I! Yes!" -Yoda- 
  95."Vote for Perot" - Bumper sticker attached with Velcro 
  96."We are on an irreversable trend towards more feedom and democracy - but that could change" -D. Quayle 
  97."You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" -Steven Wright 
  98.#1 OS/2 tip: Drag the Windows folder to the shreader!!! 
  99.#include std/disclaimer.h 
 100.$$$ not found -- (A)bort (R)efinance (B)ankrupt 
 101.'Tis better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt 
 102.(((((This tagline in Stereo where available))))) 
 103.(A)bort (R)etry (C)ut Your Throat..... 
 104.(A)bort (R)etry (F)ail (U)nplug & (S)ell. 
 105.(A)bort (R)etry (P)ull leg (H)ot boot (S)wipe tagline! 
 106.(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer 
 107.(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened... 
 108.(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza 
 109.(You can have your cake) XOR (You can eat your cake) 
 110.(c) Copywight 1995 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved. 
 111.* OLX 3 * Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art. 
 112.*Four hours* to bury a cat? Yes - it wouldn't keep still 
 113... Bugs come in through open Windows. 
 114.... "I'll be Bach." - Johann Sebastian Schwarzenegger 
 115.... All the world's a stage, and I missed rehearsal. 
 116.... Bill Clinton isn't slick. He's just a liar. 
 117.... Clinton Economics: If 1+2=3 then 4+5=6. 
 118.... Clinton excuse #15: Hey - I just do what the wife says 
 119.... Clinton excuse #18: You took that seriously? Har har 
 120.... Clinton sandwich: $5 of baloney and $20 in taxes 
 121.... Getting the truth from Clinton is like nailing Jello 
 122.... It's tourist season in Florida, bag limit two. 
 123.... KARAOKE is Japanese for "Tone Deaf" 
 124.... Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant 
 125......If it ain't broke, fix it anyway just to screw it up! 
 126....I'm sorry, Reality is not in service at this time. 
 127....On the other hand, you have different fingers. 
 128...Windows NT Performance", on the next "In Search Of" 
 129./EARTH is 98% full. Please delete anybody you can 
 130.1 + 1 = ? Ask my calculator. 
 131.10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be schitzo! 
 132.1200 bps used to seem so fast 
 133.186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW. 
 134.1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts 
 135.2 + 2 = 4 (for the time being). 
 136.2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2) 
 137.3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population. 
 138.43% of all statistics are worthless. 
 139.43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr... 
 140.5 schizophrenics agree! 
 141.50 states, and I had to pick this one... 
 142.668 - Neighbor of the Beast 
 143.90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at. 
 144.<<< Tagline deleted by Natl Endowment for the Arts >>> 
 145.==/==/==/==Police tagline==/==/==Do not cross ==/==/==/== 
 146.From my brain, an organ with a mind of it's own. 
 147.From the Department of Redundancy Dept. 
 148.A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds... 
 149.A Bugless Program is an Abstract Theoretical Concept. 
 150.A Metaphor is like a Simile. 
 151.A Smith & Wesson *ALWAYS* beats 4 Aces. 
 152.A big enough hammer fixes anything 
 153.A bird in the hand can be messy. 
 154.A camel is a horse planned by committee. 
 155.A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs. 
 156.A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. 
 157.A closed mind gathers no intelligence 
 158.A closed mouth gathers no feet. 
 159.A committee has 6 or more legs and no brain. 
 160.A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it. 
 161.A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned. 
 162.A cynic smells flowers and looks for the casket. 
 163.A day for firm decisions! Or is it? 
 164.A day not wasted is a day wasted! 
 165.A day without radiation is a day without sunshine. 
 166.A day without sunshine is like night. 
 167.A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing. 
 168.A dirty book is rarely dusty. 
 169.A fool and his money are soon SYSOP. 
 170.A fool and his money rarely get together to start with. 
 171.A fool must now and then be right by chance. 
 172.A friend in need is a pest indeed... 
 173.A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you. 
 174.A good way to deal with predators is to taste terrible. 
 175.A half moon is better than no moon at all. 
 176.A harp is a nude piano. 
 177.A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something. 
 178.A library is an arsenal of liberty. 
 179.A life lived in fear is half a life lived. 
 180.A little greed can get you lots of stuff. 
 181.A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. 
 182.A living example of Artificial Intelligence. 
 183.A man needs a good memory after he has lied. 
 184.A man's best friend is his dogma. 
 185.A man, a plan, a canal. Suez! 
 186.A mind is a terrible thing to taste. 
 187.A mind is a terrible thing to ugg.. I forgot.. 
 188.A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind. 
 189.A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. 
 190.A penny saved is a Governmental oversight. 
 191.A perversion of nature....how exciting! 
 192.A pessimist is never disappointed. 
 193.A phaser on stun is like a day without orange juice. 
 194.A rolling stone gathers momentum. 
 195.A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago. 
 196.A single fact can spoil a good argument. 
 197.A stitch in time would have confused Einstein. 
 198.A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a moose. 
 199.A waist is a terrible thing to mind. 
 200.A yer ago I kudnt spel progremr now I are won. 
 201.ASCII and ye shall receive. 
 202.ASCII stupid question... get a stupid ANSI! 
 203.Abandon all hope ye who have entered cyberspace. 
 204.Afraid of heights? Not me, I'm afraid of widths! 
 205.Agnodyslexic plea: "why ME, dog?" 
 206.Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows. 
 207.Alex, I'll take "Things Only I Know" for $1000. 
 208.All E-mail gladly received. Offensive reply ASAP. 
 209.All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money can't make me happy. 
 210.All I need to know I learned from my cat. 
 211.All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power 
 212.All generalizations are bad. 
 213.All generalizations are false, including this one. 
 214.All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here. 
 215.All in a day's work for..."Confuse-a-Cat"! 
 216.All in all it's just a... 'nother brick in the wall! 
 217.All life's answers are on TV. - Bart Simpson 
 218.All programers are optimists. 
 219.All that glitters has a high refractive index. 
 220.All the easy problems have been solved. 
 221.All things are green unless they are not. 
 222.All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? 
 223.All words are pegs on which to hang ideas. 
 224.All work and no play, will make you a manager. 
 225.All you need to be a fisherman is patience and bait. 
 226.Almost went crazy. Would have been a real short trip. 
 227.Alone: In bad company. 
 228.Always draw your curves, then plot the data. 
 229.Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much. 
 230.Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty. 
 231.Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out. 
 232.Always remember no matter where you go, there you are. 
 233.Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day. 
 234.Ambition is the last refuge of the failure. 
 235.America Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant. 
 236.Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think. 
 237.An Elephant; A Mouse built to government specifications. 
 238.An egotist thinks he's in the groove when he's really in a rut. 
 239.An elephant is a mouse with an operating system. 
 240.An idle mind is worth two in the bush. 
 241.An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction. 
 242.An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts. 
 243.An oyster is a fish built like a nut. 
 244.An ulcer is what you get mountain climbing over molehills. 
 245.An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. 
 246.An unemployed court jester is no one's fool. 
 247.And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. 
 248.And he disappeared in a puff of logic. 
 249.And if one bad cluster should accidentally fail... 
 250.And it's only ones and zeros. 
 251.And now for something completely different... 
 252.And now for something completely the same... 
 253.And tomorrow will be like today, only more so. 
 254.And, the driver compresses EVERYTHING, not just EXE & COM 
 255.Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly. 
 256.Anger blows out the lamp of the mind. 
 257.Another case of Cherry Coke down the programming hatch! 
 258.Answers: $1 * Correct answers: $5 * Dumb looks: Free! * 
 259.Antidisestablishmentarianism! 
 260.Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough. 
 261.Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do. 
 262.Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there 
 263.Any wire cut to length will be too short. 
 264.Anything worth doing, is worth doing for a profit. 
 265.Are we having Fahrvergn
ugen yet?? 
 266.Are ya feelin' lucky, punk?!! - Harry Callahan 
 267.Are you really American if your ethnicity has to be hyphenated? 
 268.Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? 
 269.Armageddon means never having to say you're sorry. 
 270.Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 
 271.As I said before, I never repeat myself. 
 272.As a matter of fact, no, I don't have a life. 
 273.As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716 
 274.As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia. 
 275.Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it. 
 276.Assumption is the mother of all screwups... 
 277.Atheist = Deity Disadvantaged. 
 278.Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. -Dorothy 
 279.B.Gates : quality software :: R.McDonald : gourmet cuisine 
 280.BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding. 
 281.Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch! 
 282.Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic 
 283.Bad Command:(A)bort (R)etry (T)ake RAM hostage 
 284.Bad breath is better than no breath. 
 285.Bald: follicularly challenged. 
 286.Barium: what you do with dead chemists. 
 287.Beautify Texas. Put a Yankee on a bus. 
 288.Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. 
 289.Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression!) 
 290.Best way to dispose of the Borg: Give them Windows 3.1. 
 291.Better ... stronger ... faster! 
 292.Beware of Geeks bearing gifs. 
 293.Beware of barking dogs that bite. 
 294.Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers 
 295.Bigamy : one wife too many. Monogamy : same thing 
 296.Bill Clinton is the Lyin' King. ( Now playing nation wide ) 
 297.Bill Clinton thinks that Cheerios are donut seeds. 
 298.Bill Clintoon: The prince of Dorkness, a caricature of a president 
 299.Black Holes are Out of Sight 
 300.Black holes really suck... 
 301.Blessed are the pessimists, for they make backups! 
 302.Blessed is the end-user who expects nothing, for ye shall not be dissapointed. 
 303.Bliss *IS* ignorance 
 304.Bo Knows Taglines! 
 305.Bo Peep did it for the insurance. 
 306.Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people. 
 307.Borderline psychotic with hermit-like tendencies. 
 308.Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen. 
 309.Bored? Drive the speed limit... in your garage. 
 310.Borg spreadsheet: Locutus 1-2-3 
 311.Borg? Where? I don't se*(#$#..NO CARRIER 
 312.Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air. 
 313.Boy: A noise with dirt on it. 
 314.Brain dysfunction detected.... 
 315.Brain over - Insert coin 
 316.Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think. 
 317.Break up a relationship - buy a computer!! 
 318.Breathing may be hazardous to your health. 
 319.Britannia waives the rules. 
 320.Bug off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes 
 321.Bugs are Sons of Glitches! 
 322.Bugs, like coathangers, breed if unobserved. 
 323.Building Contractors, not to be confused with homemakers 
 324.Bullets speak louder than reason. 
 325.Bumper sticker on a hearse: I'd rather be breathing 
 326.Bungee Jumper? Catch you on the rebound. 
 327.Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise 
 328.Bus error (Passengers dumped) 
 329.Busier than a 1 legged man in an butt-kicking contest. 
 330.But I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!! 
 331.But honey, we can afford it, I sold your car! 
 332.But my little voice TOLD me to do it! 
 333.But soft, what light through yonder tagline breaks? 
 334.But then again, I like cold toilet seats. 
 335.But what if I'm a figment of my OWN imagination? 
 336.Buy American! 
 337.Buy Land Now. It's Not Being Made Any More. 
 338.Buy a supscription to Playboy and send it to your boss' wife 
 339.By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts! 
 340.C programmer run C programmer crash C programmer quit 
 341.C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN DOS RUN 
 342.CAUTION: RIDER MAY BAIL AT ANY TIME 
 343.CCITT: Can't Certify I Trust Telecom. 
 344.CCITT: Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today 
 345.CD-WOM, Wead Onwy Memowy. 
 346.CEO of Dementia and Other Meaningless Entities. 
 347.CHIP: One California hi-way patrolman. 
 348.CODING: AN addictive Drug. 
 349.COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer. 
 350.CONgress (n) - Opposite of PROgress 
 351.CRASH: Normal termination. 
 352.CRIME CONTROL: Fire a warning shot into his HEART! 
 353.CURIOSITY? Nah. I got THAT cat with a lawnmower. 
 354.CYCLIC REDUNDANCY CHECK: Stocktaking at a Bike shop 
 355.California raisins murdered: Cereal Killer suspected 
 356.Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse? 
 357.Can you find the mispelled word in hear? 
 358.Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"? 
 359.Can you see the REAL ME, can ya?!?! CAN YA??!?!!?!?!?!?! 
 360.Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? 
 361.Can't learn to do it well? Learn to enjoy doing it badly! 
 362.Card-carrying member of the cultural elite. 
 363.Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities. 
 364.Cause of crash: Inadvertent contact with the ground. 
 365.Caution: Breathing may be hazardous to your health. 
 366.Caution: Contents under pressure 
 367.Caution: Hungry Dieter May bite if provoked 
 368.Caveat emptor, no deposit no return, do not remove. 
 369.Celibacy is not hereditary. 
 370.Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. 
 371.Chernobyl used Windows 
 372.Chess players mate better. 
 373.Chicago only promises what OS/2 DELIVERS! 
 374.Chicago runs best on a VCR. 
 375.Chicago, an operating system Pair-of-Dimes shift! 
 376.Chicago... The biggest thing since New Coke! 
 377.Chicago: NT deja vu! 
 378.Chicago? Been There,... Done That 2 Years Ago! I run OS/2! 
 379.Chicago? Been there. I'm ready to travel at WARP speed! 
 380.Chicken heads are the chief food of captive alligators. 
 381.Chipmunks roasting on an open fire. 
 382.Choose heaven for climate, hell for society. 
 383.Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. 
 384.Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular. 
 385.City Planners do it with their eyes shut. 
 386.Civilization - biggest syntax error in history! 
 387.Clark Kent is a transvestite. 
 388.Clarvoiants meeting canceled due to unforseen events. 
 389.Clean mind, clean body: take your pick. 
 390.Cleanliness is next to impossible. 
 391.Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get. 
 392.Clinton is one Bill, George Bush can't veto... 
 393.Clinton/Gore is to the presidency as Beavis & Butthead are to television. 
 394.Clones are people two. 
 395.Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades! 
 396.Close your eyes and press escape three times. 
 397.Closed Hearing for the Caption Impaired... 
 398.Cogito ergo spud I think therefore I yam. 
 399.Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage. 
 400.Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar, you're gonna go far! 
 401.Coming Soon!! Mouse Support for Edlin! 
 402.Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo! 
 403.Commence strategic maneuvers at audible command signal. 5, 4, 3... 
 404.Committees keep minutes and lose hours. 
 405.Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. 
 406.Common sense isn't... 
 407.Communism is like a mouth on a lollipop 
 408.Competence always contains the seeds of incompetence. 
 409.Computational Physicist and all around nice guy. 
 410.Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space. 
 411.Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light. 
 412.Computers All Wait at the Same Speed! 
 413.Computers Rule 01001111 01001011 
 414.Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. 
 415.Computers are useless; they can only give answers. 
 416.Computers run on faith, not electrons. 
 417.Condense soup, not books! 
 418.Conformity obstructs progress. 
 419.Confucius say too much. 
 420.Confucius say: I didn't say that! 
 421.Confucius say: Man with no legs bums around. 
 422.Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools. 
 423.Confuse People: Quote from the wrong message! 
 424.Confused? Call Counselor Troi 1-900-NCC-1701: $1.95/minute 
 425.Confusion not only reigns, it pours. 
 426.Consolations, Consultations, Conflagrations. 
 427.Constant change is here to stay. 
 428.Contentsoftaglinemaysettleduringshipping. 
 429.Converse with any plankton lately? 
 430.Copyright the Intergalactic Thought Association 
 431.Corrupt REALITY.SYS: Reboot Universe (Y/n)? 
 432.Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer? 
 433.Couldn't myself have better it said. 
 434.Courage atrophies from lack of use. 
 435.Crime does not pay...as well as politics. 
 436.Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime? 
 437.Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it. 
 438.Crime, Sex, Alcohol, Drugs...Boy do I love Congress 
 439.Cynicism is intellectual dandyism. 
 440.Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing. 
 441.D.A.D.D. - Daddies Against Dirty Diapers 
 442.D.A.M. - Mothers Against Dyslexia 
 443.D.A.M.M - Drunks Against Mad Mothers 
 444.DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia. 
 445.DANGER! Computer store ahead, hide wallet! 
 446.DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data. 
 447.DEFINE: De ting you get for breaking de law. 
 448.DEVICE=EXXON.SYS may mess up your environment 
 449.DILATE: To live longer. 
 450.DIODE: What happens to people who don't die young. 
 451.DIVORCE =system("echo y| erase \wife\*.*" ); 
 452.DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the fault is with reality 
 453.DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAGLINE (UNDER PENALTY OF LAW)! 
 454.DO {nothing} WHILE (HearFromMe==0) 
 455.DOC files? We don't need NO STINKIN' DOC FILES! 
 456.DOS 5.0 Yesterday's operating system, today! 
 457.DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse. 
 458.DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename, Dude!" 
 459.DOS-O-MANIA : Reboot is not kicking your computer again 
 460.DOS-O-MANIA : Root is not the book Alex Haley wrote. 
 461.DOWN WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!! 
 462.Daddy, what does "Formatting Drive C:" mean? 
 463.Dain Bramaged. 
 464.Dang this hobby is expensive! 
 465.Dangerous exercise: Jumping to conclusions. 
 466.Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie. 
 467.Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed. 
 468.Dawson's First Law: You don't have enough outlets. 
 469.Death benefits = oxymoron. 
 470.Death is 99 per cent fatal to laboratory rats. 
 471.Death is God's way of dropping carrier. 
 472.Death is life's answer to the question 'Why?' 
 473.Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired. 
 474.Death sneaks up on you as a windshield sneaks up on a bug. 
 475.Death: to stop sinning suddenly. 
 476.Deflector shields just came on, Captain. 
 477.Delivered by Electronic Sled-Dogs.....Woof! 
 478.Democrats Call for Amnesty, Reduced Sentences Likely. 
 479.Depart in pieces.... i.e., Split. 
 480.Detour: The roughest distance between two points. 
 481.Diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 
 482.Did I just step on someone's toes again? 
 483.Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary! 
 484.Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion? 
 485.Die Yuppie Scum. 
 486.Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. 
 487.Difference between Jane Fonda & Bill Clinton? Jane went to Vietnam 
 488.Digression is education. 
 489.Dime: a dollar with all the taxes taken out. 
 490.Dinner Not Ready...(A)bort (R)etry (P)izza 
 491.Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock. 
 492.Diplomacy is the ability to let someone else have your way. 
 493.Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country. 
 494.Dirty deeds - DONE DIRT CHEAP! 
 495.Disclaimer: All opinions are not really opinions. 
 496.Disclaimer: Written by a highly caffeinated mammal. 
 497.Discoveries are made by not following instructions. 
 498.Disks travel in packs. 
 499.Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE! 
 500.Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? 
 501.Do I mind if you smoke? No. Do you mind if I FART? 
 502.Do fish get thirsty? 
 503.Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them. 
 504.Do not disturb. Already disturbed! 
 505.Do not put statements in the negative form. 
 506.Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives? 
 507.Do steam rollers really roll steam? 
 508.Do the joke. Get the laugh. Move on. 
 509.Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you! 
 510.Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? 
 511.Do you know the way to San Jose? 
 512.Doctor Who for president 
 513.Doctor, my brain hurts! 
 514.Documentation is the castor oil of programming. 
 515.Does Bill Clinton think Elvis is alive? 
 516.Does killing time damage eternity? 
 517.Does the Enterprise use DOS v2356.0? 
 518.Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? 
 519.Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected? 
 520.Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines. 
 521.Dogs crawl under Gates, software under Windows. 
 522.Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent. 
 523.Don't ask me, I have intermittent memory loss 
 524.Don't ask me, I only work here. 
 525.Don't ask me, I'm making this up as I go!