 This one was wrote by a very interesting old friend of mine on the net. We were a small group of people who just chatted through email. We all started as South Park fans, and it developed into mindless discussion of life, and of course in this case, the discussion of sex prior to marriage. Keep in mind that T.B. is replying to an email that C.B. wrote. T.B.'s dialogue is a response from a previous email, separated by each quote, and is indicated by C.B. |
Sex & Love T.B.: Get real, if you won't give me your body, I'm not gonna give you my LIFE. C.B.: I hope you're joking, because if you're not... well, I don't know what. T.B.: What, why? Yeah, I'm cynical, but I don't see any illogic in that statement. I stand BY it, and I'll repeat it if necessary. (Guess I just did.) If your belief system is such that you won't give me a physical pleasure until after I've made the commitment to give you EVERYTHING, then it says you have less faith in me than I have in you. OR, maybe I think that MARRIAGE is important but sex is not. Sex is a good time, marriage is a LIFEtime. Like I said, I view your belief as an imposed vow of celibacy. Why not just become a nun, and give your body to the One who TRULY loves you? (I say sarcastically, filled with disgust at the weak-willed who believe a system of religion based on Cause Other People Say So). SURE! (This is my religion paragraph.) Here's you: "I believe in God the Christian and I am all happy and bright, whereas you believe in yourself and you are cynical and unhappy." So why doesn't God just MAKE me a believer? (It'd be easy for an omnicient deity.) Oh, 'cause we all were given Free Choice. Well, that's a pretty stupid God that's gonna let all his followers go astray so that they can be unhappy. He must not care for ME very much. I want to be happy; He wants me to be happy... he doesn't help much. I'll have to do it myself! Oh, well. Enough about that. But if God doesn't mind if I'm a non-believer, then why would He care who my sexual partners are? Sheesh, I don't even want to get into theory; we can go on all day with the roundy-round biblical bullshit... (Anything that feels good is a sin. The more I listen to Christians, the less I want to BE one. That's somethin'!) I'm just saying that I personally am NOT going to make a lifelong commitment to something I don't KNOW. Like I said, if you won't let me test-drive you before I devote my entire life to you, then I'll respect (naw, acknowledge is a better word) your beliefs and we can Just Be Friends, and you can find your sucker and be happy, while I'll be happy that I didn't fall into the trap. I have trouble with blind faith in anything, even a deity; but you want me to have blind faith in YOU? The mortal? Hard to explain. I'm not trying to change anybody's belief system. (Unlike SOME religious groups...) I'm just trying to say THINK, (godammit) GET REAL! God doesn't set your alarm clock so you oversleep & get fired and what's HIS excuse? Everything works out for the best for whosoever believeth? Only if WE MAKE it work out for the best! I say be devoted to God if you want, but don't depend on Him; that !@#$%^& has let me down numerous times. God was gonna let me go bankrupt. Lucky thing I got off MY ass and DID something about it. "I don't believe in Jesus... I just believe in me." --John Lennon C.B.: But I can't imagine somebody actually having that attitude for real. I mean, if you'd not marry a girl because she won't have sex with you before you're married... ugh! No offense, Tom, but I'm glad I'm not going to marry somebody who thinks that way. T.B.: Well, of course you won't. He wouldn't marry you. (None taken.) Yes I DO have that attitude for real. Not saying that sex is a prerequisite for marriage... wait, YES I am! For ME it is... Just not the determining factor. You have sex with me and I STILL might not marry you; marriage is a hell of a lot bigger sacrifice. C.B.: why does the fact of her having sex with him or not define whether they are friends or more than friends? T.B.: What is "more than friends"? C.B.: I can be dating a guy and not have sex with him. T.B.: So can I. What is "dating"? C.B.: That doesn't mean I don't love him more than the average friend T.B.:What's an "average" friend? Okay, deciphering your double negatives: You can date him, you can be in love with him, and WANT to have sex with him. And he's more than a friend. But you're not going "all the way" until... MAN! If that's "all the way", then the wedding vows are just part way? I heard this line many years ago and still believe it wholeheartedly. I quote: "Marriage is more than a piece of paper to me. It's two people swearing to God they'll take care of each other, and then doing just that." Which is more important-- sex or marriage? And you want me to commit to marriage before you'll commit to sex? And I have to DO it, based on the promise? Sex is physical, marriage is METAphysical. I don't want to marry into a mistaken ideal. I'll go along with you on one point: if neither of you CARE whether or not you have sex, then get married. That way nobody'll be risking a lifetime of disappointment. C.B.: If you're having sex, that means you'd better darn well be willing to give up everything you have now T.B.: (Tom interrupts): Like your freedom, because you'll have to be married. And you have to go into this marital bed with your eyes closed. I would be REAL worried about what she was hiding. C.B.: There are guys who I wanted to have sex with who knew my beliefs about sex, and even though they didn't hold the same beliefs, they wouldn't have sex with me. T.B.: Well, if I were one, I wouldn't either. You're all hung up about it. I have a friend who's "more than a friend" and we had a sexual relationship, but when she got engaged, that part stopped. No discussion or anything, it just went without saying. In itself that's not a point of pride or anything, just in agreement with your next paragraph-- C.B.: Now I'm really thankful that I was involved with people who loved me enough to NOT have sex with me. So I guess my point is, if you really love someone, you'll want THEM to be happy. And if that means being in a relationship with somebody without having sex with them, that's just a sacrifice that has to be made. Sex is not the defining factor in a relationship, love is. T.B.: And we'll never have sex or get married, but I'll love you forever. |
