I felt compelled to talk to one of my friend's girlfriends (who is his ex
now, my other best friend's ex now and my ex now... only the first
friend had sex with her though!) about why I feel like I am nobody's top
priority. I don't understand now why this even matters, but I had
issues back in the day.
|
Nobody's Number One
Hehe, cool. I figured he would probably do it again. But you
know what I figured? I thought you wouldn't go back out with him, since
he's done it twice, and that would make you think he'd do it AGAIN. I
figured you wouldn't take the chance of being hurt again. But oh well ..
hopefully it WON'T happen again.
Dave G., Dave B. & I were all looking for him last night, and
Fenton told me he was looking for me, so do you know where he was at last
night?? We looked forever, finally saw him drive past the carwash up by
DJs and Dave G. just turned really quick and squealed his tires and by the
time we got back on the road (hahaha) he was lost again. All three of us
were laughing our asses off!
To get straight off the subject here, things got me thinking a
little while back. It went all the way back to when Andy first noticed
you. Well, you told some people that you liked him I guess. Well what
makes me wonder about myself is that why did you not like ME, but you DID
like Andy? You told me that if you weren't in love with Andy NOW that you
might go for me or something. Now don't go thinking I have this crush on
you or anything like that. I don't have one and I never have .. and with
the history you and my best friend have, I most definitely probably never
will (not saying you don't kick ass, it's just certain factors).
The reason I bring this up is that it just got me wondering.
About what .. you ask!? Well it's just that I never feel like I am
anyone's #1. I always feel like someone is more important than me, and
nobody ever truly wants me more than anything. Not only does it go with
the females I am interested in and witness this discrimination, but it is
in my friends, too. Andy's got Dave B. Fred's got Dustin/Nick. Mike's
got Dick/Big Nick. Fenton's got Greg/Greg's got Fenton. Collin & Dave (G.)
actually usually seem like they appreciate my friendship to the fullest,
except wtih Collin sometimes it's Lindsey. But that's a whole lot
different than what I mean. Nobody ever comes by my house anymore! I
remeber when Andy came by all the time (even when he WAS with you) but not
anymore. The same way with everyone else. Mike doesn't. Fred doesn't.
Collin doesn't. The only time Fenton comes by is when he picks me up from
school. People used to call me all the time, my phone never rings
anymore.
I just feel left out a lot, and I don't know why. I know that my
friends love me but I just never feel like they truly want me around
totally. With women .. my gawd .. the girls I like just ALWAYS have to
like someone more than me. Remembering back when you started liking Andy
just made me think. I'm not regressing back to any point brought directly
to you, or my friends, or any one individual in particular. It's just a
wholistic feeling. But don't go thinking I feel all depressed about it.
And it's not that I feel worthless ... it's just that I don't feel
worthful.
Sorry if I wasted your time. Hehe, I had a lot of extra time
today, because it's exam week and my test periods are two hours long, and
I finish the tests in half an hour. :) Hope you give me your insight,
Case .. bye. ;)
and her response...
Hey here is the thing i
did i did like you before me and andy got hooked up mike macontosh told me
yoou liked me and everything i guess that you did i waited for you to say
a word to me and you never did then andy asked me for my # and you never
said a word to me so i figured you wasn't intrested in me i knew andy was
.... but,i did like you .so it is posible for a girl to like you because i
did....you did not wastes my time ..go to the bowling alley tommorrow and
we will go and talk because i have some stuff iwon't to tell you that i
would rather say to you instead of over internet ok..... I guess i see you
after school when me and andy go over there .do you think you can take me
home tommorrow.
|
