For some reason, when I was born, some witch, or some wizard, or some almighty God put a curse on me when I was born. A curse that said to have started in 1999, and whenever it ends is unknown. But honest to you all, this is the true tale of my October Love Curse. To simply be up front, it started in 1999, and guess what month is next? October. Oh, if only I knew what to expect.

What has happened to me every October since four years ago is amazing, and you truly can't realize the severity of it until you think about it. But every October, I seem to be involved in some kind of romance, or fling, that always has some kind of treacherous pain. It's true. Let's break down the years.

October, 1999
It all started with my job I had at Salem Save-A-Lot. I worked with this guy named Justin Wiley. He became my assistant manager at one point, but the details of dates escape me. For this would be the qualified first year of my October Love Curse. The problem began when I noticed his sister, Natasha Wiley (Tasha).

She was hot. Plain and simple, she was. The other guys I worked with definitely agreed, and I never thought I'd even have a chance. But something happened. I can't even remember how we got started, but I think Justin told her I liked her, so she got him to give me her phone number. Some complicated thing like that, but it doesn't matter. So I called.

This girl probably broke my personal record of longest phone calls to ever exist in my past. I hate talking on the phone. And this might've been the span of time that made that of me, but I remember once being on the phone with her for eight hours! Gruesome sounding, doesn't it? But at the time, my eyes could see nothing but love. I was falling for this girl.

She was a church girl. Vowed to stay abstinent until marriage, and definitely very inexperienced in any kind of sexual manner. I, at the time, was a virgin, so I was pretty ignorant on the stuff, too, so it didn't matter to me. And her parents were strict, too. She lived with her mom, stepdad and sister out in the middle of no where. It took me almost half an hour to get to her house, but I didn't care.

Had the girl likin' me, she ain't sure what it might be, whatever the case may be, she's nuts or I'm crazy. Manipulation, aggrevation, tired of waitin', worst of all I'm skatin', on the thinnest of ice, all the time I'm late and, early for the fight. Full Rhyme

She always played games with me, like telling me we couldn't be together because her parents wouldn't allow it, and that she just wasn't ready. That we were to different because she was into church, and I wasn't. It got so bad, I even told her I'd start going to church. Yeah, it was pretty bad. The most significant moment for me was one night I was at her house and we were watching the Blair Witch Project and I finally got to hold her hand. I thought I had it made. I thought we were going to be together. Wrong.

angel2000_62854: i am tellin you we are completly differ maddawg42020: i am not either maddawg42020: good that's nice maddawg42020: yay maddawg42020: ? angel2000_62854: i don't like to date people who i have nothin in common with maddawg42020: oh this is great angel2000_62854: what maddawg42020: i am in such joy now maddawg42020: i love life maddawg42020: i sure do hope it keeps going maddawg42020: please maddawg42020: why are you telling me this? angel2000_62854: cause its the truth Full Conversation

I'm not sure when exactly the conversation online happened, but she basically told me that we would never be together. Haha, basically doesn't even cover it. She straight-up told me. It was an incredibly tragic day for my love life, and she was definitely the first girl that broke my heart. And of course, the most heart breaking moments occured in the month of October.

The happy ending to this one was that about six months later, we started working at the same place, and we eventually hooked up. Didn't last long, and I realized I didn't really want to be with her as much as I did a while back before that. So I broke up with her. It was kind of a hidden revenge, because I seriously didn't do it on purpose.

October, 2000
Speaking of that job Tasha and I started, I continued on with the work, she eventually quit, and she was basically out of my life. Something occured in which she moved to New York with some guy, and got pregnant and all kinds of crap. But she was gone. And since it was closing in on the month of Halloween, you knew I had to set myself up again.

Enter Cheryl. I was taking habtech classes for my job in the summer, and she sat by me. We kind of "clicked" on certain levels and just became pretty good friends in there that two weeks. Some people said she kind of resembled Britney Spears in the face, but I never really thought so. Cheryl was a knock out, though.

Not really sure how we started hanging out outside of work, but I just remember sitting up town one night, and she came up there. She told me she thought I was "hot" and gave me her phone number. It was great. What could possibly ruin this? Oh yeah! She had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who probably could have kicked my ass, too. But as it's been told by me before, I didn't care.

What went on from there was a lot of hanging out while her boyfriend was at work, and even included me and her taking a country drive one night. It was like something out of a movie, I swear. She told me to stop my truck, so I did. And when I did she just kissed me. It was something I had never experienced before, that's for sure.

I look out the window, it's cold outside, the dead leaves have collected on the ground. I begin dreaming of me and you, I'm not startled by a single sound. I have a fantasy of me and you, running around in the Fall. I would really like to call you someday, my sweet bab_e_doll. Full Rhyme

Before I knew it, I had fallen for her definitely more than I had for Tasha. I never cried over Tasha, but Cheryl I did. The things with Cheryl was just simply that I could never convince her to break up with her boyfriend and be with me. She painted this image of him that he was just a total asshole, and of course, I believed. I could never understood why she stayed with him if he treated her so badly. But in reality, it was simply because she's the kind of girl that requires extra attention. Nothing wrong with that, that's just how some girls are. And I definitely supplied that attention.

The worst night that happened with her was one night at my friend Andy's going away to the Marines party. I invited her, and she was there. I tried my hardest to get her to kiss me all night, and have her show attention towards me, but it was hopeless. I was getting really drunk, and of course, scientifically, alcohol is a depressant, so my good spirits were deteriorating. It wasn't that bad, until she sat on one of my best friend's lap, and I couldn't handle it. Why couldn't she just sit on my lap? Why? Who knows.

The next thing I know is that I start crying and run away from the group and fall to the ground. I don't think I had ever cried that hard over anything. My friends eventually found me laying there and a bunch of them tried to help me. I wouldn't listen to anything. They did anything they could, but I just cried on and on. My best friend said he didn't try to make me mad with her sitting on his lap. He just didn't realize how I felt about her. Finally, they had gotten me to sit in another one of my friend's car, and cry, by myself for a while. They would constantly keep checking on me. Finally, one of them said Cheryl was coming over. I stood up, and walked off into the front yard, and waited.

Being as drunk as I was, I couldn't tell you what we talked about. All I know is that I basically confessed my love for her, and we did a lot of kissing. It was a great moment for me. The rest of the night got a lot better, but unfortunately, my situation with Cheryl never did.

She never left her boyfriend for me, and we stopped hanging out as much, and basically really didn't have much to do with eachother anymore. But I will never forget that drunken October night.

Just like with Tasha, about six months later, her boyfriend had broken up with her. Cheryl and I had a wild time, more wild than before. But it was nothing dramatic, just... "fun." :)

October, 2001
I had just gotten fired from my job I had referred to earlier. But before I did, on first shift, I had been working with this one girl. Her name? Becky. She was an unlikely choice from me, but there was just something about her. And of course, there's always a problem.

She had a boyfriend as well. Yeah, and this one was in the same case as Cheryl. Talking to me about him, he was a complete prick. And of course, I let myself be sucked into the whole thing. While I was still working at Bryan Manor, I had gotten her number, and about a week after my departure from that job, I called her. We had some pretty long phone conversations, but nothing over an hour.

Tell me why, do you have to have a boyfriend? I've been down this road a million different times, please not again. Nobody knows, what I'm feeling deep inside my heart, I should really look at what I'm doing, before I really start. Full Rhyme

Then, of course, we started hanging out and just like always it led to one night at her house, when we finally started making out. Yep, making out again with another girl who is not single. I don't understand why I always let myself get strung up in shit like that, but I sure did.

The good part here was that she actually seemed serious to me about being with me, and breaking up with her man. One day, after we had hung out in Mt. Vernon, she kissed me in one of the stores. In public. Cheryl never did that! When she took me home, she said she had to think about what she was going to do, and she'd call me when she made up her mind. So when she called, can you guess what her decision was? Yeah. She just couldn't throw away a three year relationship, especially that chilly, October day. Sigh.

The good news is that I didn't lose a lot of heartache over her, but she definitely broke my heart pretty badly. Since then, she broke up with that guy, and now she's married to someone else. Go figure, eh?

October, 2002
This last (hopefully) installment of fucked up Octobers was definitely my fault. I was to blame for the whole thing. And the girl we're talking about was, at the time, my girlfriend, Ashley.

We had been together about a month before I moved in with her. Things were great, really. She'd do anything for me, and we'd go on walks every night, and just talk about everything. We were best friends before we dated, so it was always a mystery of how things would work out. But eventually we were telling eachother "I love you" and getting along great.

Then, she surpassed my longest relationship of all time, as we hit the three month mark. Yeah, pathetic, I know. But anyway, as we did that, something, or other wise, some things just went wrong. We seemed to drift apart in odd ways. I only think so because we would argue about everything, and I noticed I distanced myself from her. I can't ever explain such things, and I never will. Unless it's just a subconscience phobia of committment. But I'll never know.

I still loved her, and she still loved me. And in spite of all of our problems, we stayed together. But one drunken night with my friend Collin, we were bar hopping. I had started drinking directly after work, and continued on at the bars with him. We were at Crossroads, and he had passed out, and spilled water all over the counter. That was not only a very hilarious moment, but just one of few things that I barely even remember from the night there. There was that, talking to this Samantha girl I had known for a long time, and lastly seeing a friend of our group and saying "Hi" on the way out as we made our intoxicated exit. I do slightly remember getting home, too, and falling down a lot, and Ashley helping me to bed. But of those four things, that's about it. The next day consisted of lots and lots of puking, laying down and feeling like a total piece of vomit. Ashley made sure I was taken care, she was just that kind of girl. But the true October horror rose, when I was awaken by Ashley's crying, and her asking me something about some girl and I making out at Crossroads. I really did not know what to say, and I told her that I had no clue what she was talking about.

The person that told her this was Kari, a girl that Ashley babysitted for. Apparantly she was at Crossroads the night before and saw me doing this. I insisted to Ashley that either Kari just didn't like me and was lying to be a bitch, or she thought it was someone else doing it. But in the back of my mind, I really didn't know, since the night was such a blur anyway. She believed me, and the day went on, and I eventually felt better, and got up.

I can picture myself in a mirror, white as a ghost, wondering how I managed to mess up the most. I don't want to look at my image without feeling low, it's not about me, it's about her and this strong blow. She'll never forget but I sure will try, to make her forget the reason I made her cry. Full Rhyme

That night, Ashley went out with some friends she never really hung out with, and I just sat at home with some of my friends. Ashley got home, and was really pissed off. She made comments about me like "Oh, he doesn't give a shit about me anyway" and was just obviously angry. She finally just walked out of our apartment, and I chased her down. She was crying, and sitting on a curb. She then told me that another person told her what I had done. And who? The friend of our group, Aaron that I said "Hi" to on the way out as we made our intoxicated exit from Crossroads. That was the moment I had no other choice but to believe that I had done it.

Ashley calmed down a bit over the rest of the weekend. We all even looked at rental houses together. But the problem arose when we got to work on Monday, when people started talking to her about what had happened. And Ashley started to think more. That whole day, and that whole night, she acted as if I didn't exist, because she was "thinking."

Finally, the next day at work, she broke up with me, saying she could not be with someone she couldn't trust. And the October Love Curse ate away at my heart one more time. Luckily, Ashley and I are still friends nowadays, but we're definitely not the best friends we used to be. Some things are just meant to come out that way.

September, 2003
As this month closes in, and October creeps up on me, I wonder. I wonder what exactly is going to happen to me in the future. A sense of eerieness overcomes me a lot more this year. I just realized all of these coincidences earlier this year. Thinking about stuff that happened before, and then pulled them all together and realized that it all happened in the same time frame. Or, are they coincidences?

I might not be taking any of this as a big deal if there were situations that happened like this outside of October. But seriously, it seems any time my heart is truly broke, and I am taking on some hurtful rollercoaster of love ride, it always happens in the beginning of Fall. But somehow, this season still somehow stays as my favorite time of the year. But now that I realize my past experiences, will I show a bigger guard on my emotions? I guess I'll find out...