Lajja isn’t a regular formula film. So what motivated you to say "yes" to the role?
The fact that the director was completely convinced with the subject motivated me as an actress. From the very first day when he met me to the final narration, his passion and concern for the issue remained undiminished. Everyone knows that the film has been inspired by a real life incident. But just how deeply he was affected by the episode was revealed only when we began shooting the film. I think doing Lajja was an instinctive decision for me.

Is that how you usually make your decisions, relying on your instincts?
That’s how I usually do it, yes. Of course, there are other considerations as well. If it is a director I’ve already worked with like Guddu (Rakesh Roshan) I don’t need much coaxing because I trust him. It didn’t take me long to say "yes" to Guddu’s forthcoming Koi Mil Gaya. In that sense it should have taken me longer to agree to Lajja because I have yet to see any of Raj Santoshi’s earlier films.

None at all?
None, not even Damini. But I’m planning to see all his films now. I remember him as a shy assistant following Govind Nihalani around during the making of Vijeta, holding on to his shirt and whispering into his ear. Nobody heard him utter a word during the making of the film, so you can imagine how dumbfounded I was at his clairvoyant, almost visual narration of the subject of Lajja to me. He told me he was depicting the five faces of Sita. The five phases in a woman’s life. And the way he elaborated on each character, emphasising every issue, was quite enthralling. He had worked out an unusual graph for the film, the journey of one woman. But all the four women he’s portrayed-- Vaidehi, Maithili, Janaki and Ram Dulari--were equally fascinating.

When there were so many options, what made you opt for Ram Dulari?
I was more drawn to Janaki, the role played by Madhuri Dixit, but the director felt that I should play Ram Dulari because I was most appropriate to represent the opening outcry "Amma humko bachai le, ye dushman humka phuk de ...", his inspiration and reason for making the film. That was the director’s projection of me. I wasn’t completely convinced but I consoled myself that while I had done shades of Janaki in my earlier films, this was a new expression and a new challenge for me as an actress.

When does the process of acting begin for you? When you listen to the story or when you begin shooting?
I’m not a method actor. Earlier, because I was young and indifferent to my work and later, because I felt becoming too aware would take away the magic, acting for me was more of a spontaneous reaction. Eventually, the moment of truth for all actors is "Start Camera." Whatever artistes go through prior to this, is all happening at a subconscious level. It could be something I’ve watched from my car window or a film I’ve stored in my memory bank for years. It’s different each time and difficult to explain. A few weeks before the shooting of Lajja when I asked the director to describe his vision of Ram Dulari to me, he counter-questioned me with, "I know my vision. I’m keen to know what’s going on in your head."

And what was going on in your head?
To be honest, I was nervous because I had never played a rural woman before, never spoken the Avadhi dialect in its purest form. The innumerable research material provided by the director really helped. He had travelled extensively in the interiors and had sufficient information to satisfy my queries. For our mutual benefit, we did a test shoot. After that, I think, he was reassured and left me alone till the day of the shooting.

Were there any disputes during the test shoot?
Not disputes but there were healthy discussions. I was carrying both bright and dull coloured sarees. He discarded all the brighter shades and settled for the dull ones. I had plastered my hair with oil to give it a rustic look. He asked me to leave it the way it was. His explanation being, "Hawa chal rahi hai na, so let your hair fly." Something just resolved for me during that shoot and after that I surrendered to him as an actress.

Do you usually surrender so easily?
I’m obedient. It comes out of not going through any kind of formal education. So for me the filmmaker is the teacher and the studio my school. There are actors who get unsettled when directors enact a scene for them. I take it as an indicator. I distill the moment and absorb what’s advantageous to me. Over the years I have learnt to distance myself from cliches.

What’s your mind frame on the first day of the shoot of a new film?
I’m anxious and edgey but on the surface I appear calm and unaffected. An actor about to get under the skin of a new character is like a bride adopting a new family after an arranged marriage. You are being watched under a microscope, judged by everyone and all the time. It can be very unnerving!
And for some sadistic reason, the director always picks up the most crucial scene to shoot on the first day. It’s happened with my earlier films and it happened with Lajja as well. They probably do it deliberately, to get full steam into the film. Or perhaps to ensure that the actor does not get complacent.

What were you thinking about when you did the brow-beating scene?
I was thinking about the complete helplessness and the exasperation of the character. Ram Dulari is doomed, and she knows it. Only a sensitive person who cannot inflict violence on others and cannot cope with her own frustration, would brow-beat in that manner. It is a very disturbing moment in the film and an equally disturbing moment for me as a performer.

To what extent do traumatic scenes like these affect the individual?
Personally it does not affect me any longer because after so many years, one is able to switch on and off. However, the yelling and the shrieking gets to you after a while because your voice turns hoarse and everyone is worried if the same result can be accomplished during the dubbing. The climax shot in the film was also my last shot. We had been shooting all night and had to complete the scene before the sun came up.

Originally, Santoshi had conceived the sequence differently. Then, at the last minute, he changed his mind and shot it within the space and the props available. And, as fate would have it, everything fell into place. Santoshi is an easy director in the sense that he gives a long rope to his actors and does not suffocate them with instructions to do the scene his way. That’s quite liberating. He watches the effect and if it works for the better, does not interrupt.

Tell us about the rape scene?
It’s too private for me to elaborate on but just knowing that someone is lusting for you is humiliating. Men will never be able to understand the feeling because they’ve never been raped. They suffer a minor loss in business and fantasise about jumping out of their window. While rape victims go on with their lives despite the tragedy.

Would you say Lajja has altered your way of thinking?
This is the first time I’ve worked in a film and I feel like speaking about it. The first time I understand what activists attached to a cause they believe in go through. The first time I can identify with their passion for a crusade.

Until now I was oblivious of all this, but Lajja has made me aware just how important it is to bond with my own sex. The film is as significant for men as it is for women. Men should see Lajja to know their women better, to get acquainted with their feelings. Women should see the film to celebrate womanhood.

From a don in Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi to a princess in Zubeidaa to a mid-wife in Lajja. What next?
Anything. I’m ready for any role of any length, to play any character. I’m even willing to play a man, change my walk and voice, provided the director is confident enough to take the risk.

—Bhawana Somaaya
source: screenindia.com

Back to Interviews

Back to Main