*Expressindia.com Interview*
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How does one talk to one of the most mesmerising modern day miracles, a woman who has risen from nowhere to a place which defies description — Rekha? Why does it take me so much time to believe that the beautiful apparition dressed in stark white, strikingly beautiful without a trace of make-up, sitting before me with the sea and the setting sun in the background, is the same woman who has launched a thousand stories, all of them stories about the same woman — Rekha? Why do the head and the heart take time to believe that this is the same woman who has overcome all hardships, heartbreaks, humiliations... disappointments and depressions... threats, torments and tussles with the truth...? Overcome them and emerged triumphant, like a beautiful phoenix, each time. Why does a man as old as me, a man who has gone through the whole gamut of life, spent all my life trying to sift the real from the unreal, the truth from the untruth, the dream from the reality, the good from the bad, still find it difficult to know the truth about this woman — Rekha? Why does that grace, that glow, that glory on the woman’s face after all these years of storms, cyclones, earthquakes and raging fires tempt you to believe that she is the chosen one, the loved one of God. Tempt you to believe in God and his wonderful, wonder filled ways. Tempt you to believe that God creates a woman like this once in several hundred years to prove that He still works great miracles. In times when man threatens to take over from God after just a handfull of silly games and experiments in the name of science, technology, computers and other man made sciences — Rekha? Why does Rekha make me feel that strange glow all over, that glow that doesn’t leave me easily, has left me restless in my sleep till I wake up at 3.30 a.m. thinking, my being still full of Rekha? |
I don’t want to find answers to these questions easily. I don’t want to unravel the mystery and the mystique of Rekha. I don’t want to know the complete Rekha. I know it will take away the charm from my life if I do. So let Rekha be like she is — a woman who is born again and again, “a woman of a million miracles”, like she calls herself.
I don't think anyone will ever know the real Rekha except perhaps Rekha herself. So we turn to Rekha herself to learn more about Rekha. Rekha as she is today...
"I am a woman of a million miracles. It is these miracles which have made me, which have moulded me into what I am today. Sometimes I wonder what I would be, where I would be without these great miracles worked by God only for me. These miracles have always given me the feeling that He has a special place for me. He cares for me. He loves me. I have reached the point of my life where my experiences have taught me to be accommodating, not compromising, not compromising under any circumstances. I am going through life with my head held high. I have had the privilege of doing what I want without anyone stopping me or questioning me. I have reached a stage where I don’t think negative. I don’t nurse negative feelings about life, about anything, about anybody. I have faced all kinds of problems in life. But frankly, I don’t have any rancour, any regret, any hatred for or about anything. I have always wanted to be a learner all the time. And I want to put what I learn into practice. That’s what life is all about. I believe in genuine affection. I always crave for it and want it to be mutual. I also believe in strong connections. I would like to get connected with all kinds of people. It’s a great feeling if the connection works. It could make life better. It could make life worth living. I love people and I want people to love me.
What is life without love? Take away love, take away affection and what is left in life? Let love glow, let affection flourish, let life make the best of love and affection, the main source of life. I don’t believe in passing judgements on anyone, on any issue. Who am I to do that? Who has given me the power to do that? I have a very strong uncanny sense of perception of men, matter and things but I don’t have the right to pass judgements. I don’t want to. It doesn’t help. There are others more powerful, more learned and more experienced to pass judgements. It is a great feeling, a real high to know that you are still loved, you are still wanted. That people still lap up every photograph of yours, that people still write fan letters and show their love, their care, their concern. And all this after more than a quarter of a century. I am grateful to God and to all those loving people who have kept me alive and growing (and glowing).
Sometimes I pause to think that only half my life is over. The entire other half is still there waiting with its bag of mixed opportunities. I’m in a hurry. I want to do it all and I want to do it fast because I believe you live only once. There is only one thing I have decided to say a big no to and that is marriage. I will not get married, never, because I am already married. I am married to life, I am married to my career, I am married to Pisti, I am married to my home. And above all I am married to my promise to myself that I will never be in a situation when I need to be dependent on anybody in any which way at any stage in my life. The only person I can ask something from is Rekha, me alone, no one else. I don’t expect acknowledgement and appreciation from anybody. I’ve got everything and more. What more can I ask for? Some of my recent films have done a world of good to me. Like there was Basu Bhattacharya’s Aastha which made me take a somersault in life as late as this stage in my life. And it’s fun. Now I talk like I have never talked before. Then there was Khiladiyon Ke Khiladi in which I was offered a vicious negative role which proved to be a very big hit. My performance was appreciated by both my fans and my critics. I thought I looked jet-lagged and tired in the film. The people thought otherwise. They thought I looked ravishing.
Here is a big film called Bulandi in which I play Anil Kapoor’s wife. I took the role as a compliment. I always felt about and treated Anil like a kid even though he is older than me. It is a very strong role and I must thank director T Rama Rao with whom I’ve done eight films for thinking of me for the role. He said he couldn’t think of anyone else doing it. This was a film made under the most ideal circumstances. I was treated like a queen, a great feeling. I am also doing an out and out comedy, Tumse Achcha Kaun Hai with another great actor Naseeruddin Shah. There is also Saawan Kumar’s Mother ’98 which is a fun film with lots of meaning packed into it. My greatest strength is my vulnerability. Some say I am cold, self-centred, arrogant. I know I am vulnerabe and it is my vulnerability that will either make me or break me one day. It’s been a great feeling all the way. All through the passions and pleasures. Inspite of all that life has given and taken from me. Rekha has no regrets. Rekha will never have any regrets. What’s there to regret when I have got so much more than I deserved?”