Mr. Klemmer Quotes!!
04-05:
Don't have him this year 'cause he's a poo and wouldn't teach BC Calc, but I still visit him a lot and a lot of my friends have him...
Klemmer: If you use a false assumption you can prove anything to be true.
Ross: So, I could say, that if 1+1=3, then Klemmer is a girl, and that would be true?
Klemmer: Yes, that's true. Wait, no!
"I think that Klemmer is really an alien, and he believes that if he gives evil amounts of HW, there will be a revolt against the school, and while everyone is distracted, he will take over the earth!" ~ Bethany
the following was added by Katie W.
Mike: Real men cry.
Klemmer: It's true. I cried in Titanic.
Lexa: Liz and I are going to go smoke pot, we'll be back later.
Klemmer: Okay, sounds good!
Just to keep Klemmer out of trouble, that conversation was in jest.
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03-04:
Best math teacher I've had since 7th grade.
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Semester 1:
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"This one time I was coming off some drugs...medicine, not the good kind!"
"What I do with my calculator in my spare time is none of your business."
"Turn that puppy on!"
"Guys are pretty excitable."
"Aww what a cute little 'r'."
"I've got a drinking problem."
"No matter when you period is, you go up and down and up and down..."
"You do it here, here and here...nice curves."
"Oh it's so hard, it'll probably hurt."
"...otherwise, I would have been really high."
"Take it out!!"
Jon: Do an Austrian accent!
Mr. K: G'day mate!
"And what we would do is John."
"I think 'big-ass' is a great adjective."
"Asymptizzle!"
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Semester 2:
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"Give me a row or column to do."
"This falls into the category of 'I don't know why'."
"The way that we dood it is..."
"Disney is a cult movie."
"Now, suppose we write 'book' B-O-O-K..."
"There's lots of different ways you can have kids, class...many different positions."
"Two divided by two equals two. I don't know what's wrong with you guys today, for saying it equals one..."
"Now, suppose we coss three toins."
"That's called a Chebychev problem."
"Here's what you have, and here's the number of times you have it, over and over again."
"This is a pubic function."
"I would like to tell you all about my poopus."
"I'm an algebraic kinda guy."
"Let me think..." *starts to purr*
"Traveling at the speed of bike!"
"It was ancient Rome, they didn't have dildos...but they had cucumbers!"
"...and it's shaped like a cylindrical dick."
"Well I thought that was funny........man I'm a geek."
*British accent* "Excuse me sir, are you circumcized?"
"You will make mistake here...damnit I'm not asian!!"
"Americans have a culture! It's just....stupid."
"Well my calculator is drug free."
"When you doodoo...did I just say that?!?"
"Sweeeeeet."
Girl: Nothing good comes from the U.P. I'm just kidding I'm sure you're girlfriend's great.
Klemmer: Oh yeah she's really good. (frowns to figure out why people are giggling. figures it out. then he grins and nods.) Yeah...she's really good.
"I am the origin."
"I see right through you bitch!"
"No thank you, I like being in control of my body."
"Sorry, my A.D.D. just kicked in."
"Okay, regardless of my A.D.D. I totally did not follow that question."
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A.P. Analysis Quotes:
"Get with the Jewish program!" ~ Anna
7th hour freak show!
Genital enlargement surgery is very mathematical.
"Fourteen times in three minutes!"
264
"Oh Bobby!" ~ Mr. K's door
Jon: Look's like Klemmer's got a little bald spot.
Klemmer: Leave me alone!
"If that's rural then I don't wanna be urban."
Klemmer: I just got reccomended for tenure. I can do anything.
Jon: But you don't have tenure yet, so WE STILL OWN YOU.
6th Hour: It's pronounced "fosi" not "foki".
Mr. K: Well "fok u".
Anna: Let's just call it "fochi".
Mr. K: Fochure
Klemmer: (southern accent) Prise the problem!
Jon: (same accent) Preach bruddah preach!
Klemmer: ...use this formula and you kill two birds with one stone.
Lance: (big innocent eyes) But why would you want to kill a bird?
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