Asbnll Scientists hope to recreate extinct trolls

Asbnll scientists are hoping to recreate extinct trolls in hopes of
increasing the IQ level of the current crop of trolls. For years now,
researchers using a new technology called Google, have excavated the frozen
wasteland of Usenet, hoping to find any DNA from any well preserved troll,
in hopes of impregnating any current troll.

"Since we know that these trolls often ejaculated all over their keyboards
whenever someone takes their bait, we are confident we will be able to find
a frozen sample", said SKP who heads the Google research team.

"For years now, people have often wondered how past trolls would interact
with current ones and have often run simulations involving these trolls.
(See http://www.geocities.com/mad_dom/misc/fantasytroll.html ) Now we have
the opportunity to run this experiment in a live environment. And we have no
shortage of guinea pigs. Trolls like Chrsan, Kobe's Team, or Jedi would love
to be impregnated".

The trolls first started dying out 3 years ago when the Lakers began their
new dynasty. The trolls who survived suffered massive braindamage and loss
of any cognitive ability. They attempted to migrate to other newsgroups in
Usenet only to find that life in many of the basketball newsgroups have died
out. And so they wandered back to Asbnll, desperately seeking attention.
Because the surviving trolls are of such low quality and apparently
devolving, Asbnll scientists came up with this plan to recreate past trolls.

"With trolls currently in the negative IQ range, we hope we can raise that
level back to zero.", said Branden Wolner of UMass Medical Center. "Maybe
then, we won't get any more chimp-brains like Al Wilson or any Rob-like
trolls who analyze games using Sportscenter, not to mention desperate enough
for attention, to use the death of a legend to troll.".

However, the project is not supported by everyone. "Sure we currently get
trolls using Sportscenter for their ammo. But how is recreating a
Spinhead-like troll who uses Real Audio to analzye games any better?" said
Looney, a former Bozak apologist. "What good is recreating a Greg Cooper who
fills up half the group with BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Do we really want to hear
about Bullyo's worldwide business? Or endure Coz's intellectual
dishonesty?".

Despite the criticism, SKP plans to continue the project. "Anything would be
an improvement over the current crop of trolls, who tend to scream WILL LOOK
YOU in every other post. Or trolls from lottery teams, that ride around in
imaginary escalades. Or trolls who think they can destroy Asbnll by flooding
it with tons of OT posts. Or even trolls who would have you believe they
forge posts. And worst of all, heroin addicted bandwagoning trolls who claim
to be shark experts".

In recent weeks, the trolls have devolved even further as primitive trolls
from the radioactive wasteland of the Celtics group have followed Michael
Fletcher into Asbnll, thus dropping the overall quality of trolls to new
depths.

SKP hopes in a few years, the current crop of trolls would be phased out or
that perhaps their IQ level would have increased enough to show some
semblance of brain activity and perhaps even provide some decent
entertainment. We can only hope.