Lakers and Sixers NG Announce Merger



Philadelphia (AP) - Usenet Giant ASBNLL (NASDAQ: LAKE - news) has announced
it is buying rival ASBNP7 (OTC BB: SIXR -news) for a million Usenet posts,
pending shareholder approval from both groups.

Sixer NG CEO, Jefferson Glapski seemed confident that the merger would be
approved, "We only have 5 posters in our group anyways so it shouldn't be
too difficult getting the necessary votes".

The merger makes sense for the Sixer NG as it was struggling to produce even
a dozen posts a day. Laker Chairman Branden Wolner believes the Laker NG
will benefit as well, "We are already the Number One OT Producer in Usenet.
Glapski, who will become head of our OT posting division, will provide OT
Crossposting which should increase OT productivity even further and
strengthen our position in the OT business."

Analysts however believe Asbnll is close to having a monopoly in OT posting
and is risking the wrath of Uncle Sam. Former Asbnll President and current
consultant, Greg Cooper had this say, "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

"Asbnll isn't big enough for Greg and Bozak so expanding into Philaldelphia
made sense", said Wolner.

Asbnll also hopes Sixer poster, rdt remains with the group. "Though business
has been picking up, it's been slow in the Kobe bashing department. rdt
would provide a boost for us," said Senior Vice President s_knight.

Former Sixer Chief Financial Officer, Jake Wilson however, has left the
Sixer NG to form his own message board at http://www.voy.com/34061/

"The rest of the 2 posters from the Sixers NG will be let go unless they
want to perform janitorial duties", said Wolner.

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