The TrollFather
Laurance: Don Tiberone, I need your help!
Don Tiberone: I'm listening.
Laurance: Well you see, I was once a Bulls bandwagoner. So one day....
30 minutes later.
Laurance: So I start going through Deja digging up posts by this Chris
Petrovic fellow...
Don Tiberone: Will you get to the point?
Laurance: Well, the problem is, I got this guy from Australia who has been
following me around, stalking and harassing me! I call the NetCops but they
won't do anything! They just tell me to killfile him! So I said to the GF,
for justice we must go to the TrollFather!
Don Tiberone: Laurance, we've known each other for years but this is the
first time you've come to me for help. I don't ever remember you inviting me
to go sharkin with you.
Laurance: Please! I'll give you anything but please do what I ask!
Don Tiberone: And what is that?
Laurance whispers in Tiberone's ear.
Don Tiberone: No, you ask too much.
Laurance: I ask for justice!
Don Tiberone: You never think to protect yourself with real friends. The
Netcops protect you. There are terms of service from your ISP so you don't
need a friend like me. But now you come to me and say Don Tiberone, I need
justice. And you don't ask in friendship. And you don't even think to call
me TrollFather.
Laurance: But the Netcops have been good to me.
Don Tiberone: Then take the justice from the Netcops. But if you come to me
with your friendship and loyalty, then your enemies would become my enemies
and then they will fear you.
Laurance: Be my friend... TrollFather!
Don Tiberone: Good. One day I may call upon you to do a service for me in
return.
Laurance: Thank you TrollFather!
Don Tiberone: Mithra handle it.
Mithra: How?
Don Tiberone: I don't know. Go get some sharks or heroin or something. Who's
next?
LooneyToon: TrollFather I need your help!
Don Tiberone: What now?
LooneyToon: There's this idiot rdt troll who's been pestering my
neighborhood. Could you please do something about him!
Don Tiberone: Sure. I'll make him a troll he can't refuse.... the Iverson
Award!