Spinhead on Who wants to be a Millionaire

(Credit goes to Jason Hernandez who wrote 90% of this)

Regis: So tell us about yourself, Roy.

Spinhead: Well Regis, I am basically the smartest man in the
history of the universe. I realize it is an honor for you to
meet me. Not too many have had this privilege. Basically, I know
everything. There is nothing I can't accomplish. Quite frankly,
I am perfect.  I am the heart and soul of the universe. Without
me, the universe would cease to exist.

Regis: So, you think you know everything, huh Roy? You're the heart and
soul of the universe, huh? Well, let's see how you do with our 15
questions. You know our 3 lifelines, ask the newsgroup where the Lakers
ng MIGHT help you, 50:50 where the computer takes away 2 wrong answers,
and finally, you can phone a fellow troll where our friends at
MC.....uh.....I mean AT&T can help you out, ok? You ready to play?

Spinhead: Yeah, I'm gonna win this!!!!!

Regis: Then let's play Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

(dramatic music)

Regis: For $100:
/      Which of the following is        \
\             NOT a troll?              /
(A. Bozak          )(B. JC Martin       )
(C. Greg Cooper    )(D. Spinhead        )

Spinhead: Hmmm, I think I'd like to ask the ng.

Regis: (shocked) On the $100 question? I thought you knew everything,
roy? Well, ok. Let's see what the newsgroup says.

(less than a second later)

(A. 99%)(B.  0%)
(C.  1%)(D.  0%)

Spinhead: Wow, this isn't what I thought it would be, and it's supposed
to be easy, too! Ok, I'll use a 50:50.

Regis: Sure, why not? Computer, please take away 2 wrong answers leaving
Roy one wrong answer and the correct one please.

(A. Bozak         )(                  )
(C.               )(D. Spinhead       )

Spinhead: Damnit! Ok, I'd like to phone Pipster please.

Regis: (gulps) ooook. Our friends at.....AT&T will get him on the line.

(phone rings and rings)





(still ringing)





Pipster: Hello?

Regis: Hi, this is Regis Philbin calling from Who Wants to be a
Millionaire in New York. What took you so damn long?

Pipster: Ummmmmmmmmmm.....Blazers rule!!! They should've won it all!

Regis: Ok, calm down. I've got your friend Roy on the line. In a few
seconds he will ask you a question, an easy question with only 2
choices. One of them is correct. (to Spinhead) Roy, you have 30 seconds,
let's go.

Spinhead: Pip, which of these is NOT a troll, I repeat, NOT a troll?
Bozak or Spinhead?

Pipster: Wel, leme start off bi sayin' dat da Blazers shood hav one! Dey
deseved it, n da gam waz riged! (8 seconds left) Wellllllll, cince he
sed dat da Blazers suck n dey lose, I'lll seyyyyy........ (times up
buzzer sounds)

(everybody groans)

Regis: THANKS A LOT, PIPSTER, YOU STUPID (bleep) TROLL!  (audience
laughs)  Ahem, so Roy, what do you think?

Spinhead: Well, I don't think I'm a troll, so I'll just go ahead and say
D. Spinhead.

Regis: After all of that, you're that stupid to think that you're not a
troll and you STILL used ALL 3 lifelines! And you're going AGAINST the
audience?!?!?! Geeze, should be called Who Wants to be a MORON! Ahem....

Final answer?

Spinhead: Yes Regis.

Regis: Oh my gosh, this show has reached a new low; the obvious correct
answer was A. Bozak. He's not a troll, in fact, he's one of the most
frequent posters on this ng. Well, for being even worse than "Llama Boy"
or "Blackbird B*@#h" I think we'll send you home with a black eye and
some stiches, and will be forever known on this newsgroup as "The
Ultimate Moronic Troll." Now, guards, see Mr. Spinhead outta here!

(Guards grab Spinhead, and give him a black eye and a huge cut that
needs stitches)

Regis: We'll, we're desperately out of time. I guess we'll see you next
time on....
WHO WANTS TO BE A MORON....I mean MILLIONAIRE?