Commissioner SpamTrapper: Mr. Navarre, it's nice of you to host this Real Audio Convention with the citizens of Laker City. Roy Navarre: Well, I just want people to know how overrated television is. The enjoyment you get out of listening to a game on real audio and just using your imagination as you try to visualize the plays just from the audio itself, gives me far more satisfaction than just watching the game on television which, in my opinion, hinders our imagination. Television doesn't allow for you to think for yourself. You see what the television wants you to see. Using Real Audio, you see what YOU want to see without the television doing it for you. So if I want to blame the loss on Kobe, I can do it without the facts getting in my way. SpamTrapper: I never thought of that before. Roy Navarre: Of course not. You're not a genius like I am. I just wanted to share this with the citizens of Laker City and show everyone what they've been missing out on. SpamTrapper: Mr. Navarre, if only Laker City had more citizens like you! Sam: Commissioner, Commissioner! SpamTrapper: What is it? Sam: We just received word that 3 prisoners have escaped from the Laker City OT Prison! SpamTrapper: Which ones? Spam: The Joker Steven Carter, The Riddler Steve Jaros, and The Molecular Biologist! SpamTrapper: Oh no! We better alert Spinman! Get out the Spin Signal! Sam: Yes sir! SpamTrapper: Those criminals are no match for Spinman! Roy Navarre: Excuse me Commissioner but I really do need to be going. I have another appointment. Please tell Spinman I said hi. SpamTrapper: I understand, Mr. Navarre. Afterall, you're a very busy man. Now there goes a model citizen, one who never posts OT, and one who stands for everything that is right in our city! - Roy Navarre: (pulling out his real audio cellphone) Alfred! Alfred! Alfred Wilson: Alfred here! Roy Navarre: Tell Turkey to get the SpinMobile and meet me here as soon as possible. Oh yeah, and tell him not to forget my new Spinman suit! Now's as good a time to show it off! Alfred Wilson: Uh which one? Roy Navarre: The one with the "S" on the front! You did remember to sew it on, right? Alfred Wilson: Er... of course I did! - SpamTrapper: I sure hope Spinman gets here soon. The Joker Steven Carter: I'm sorry but he won't be arriving anytime soon! There's a snowstorm out there and who would want to drive in a snowstorm? BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! SpamTrapper: Oh no! It's the Joker! The Molecular Biologist: Ok, everybody face down on the floor! SpamTrapper: You'll never get away with this! The Molecular Biologist: Sure we will. I have a missile ready to launch that'll spread poison throughout the entire Laker City if you don't meet our demands! Steven Carter: What you do that for, Mr. Wolner? I'm sorry but that missile will be useless if the poison burns up in the atmosphere! The Molecular Biologist: You're joking right? Of course you are, you're the Joker afterall. Steven Carter: I'm sorry but I'm not joking. I wrote the paper on that! The Molecular Biologist: Whatever. Hey Riddler, tie them up! The Riddler Steve Jaros: Riddle me this. How can someone win the MVP award while shooting such a horrible percentage? The Molecular Biologist: That's what I keep asking myself. So what's the answer? Steve Jaros: Obviously he can win it when fg% is an irrelevent statistic! The Molecular Biologist: Someone shoot me. Steve Jaros: Google it! Steven Carter: I'm sorry but I don't know how to use Google. Steve Jaros: Riddle me this. How can one point be worth more than one assist? The Molecular Biologist: That's it. I can't take it anymore! This parody isn't big enough for 3 villains, much less 2 Steve's. Joker, watch the hostages. Jaros, you and me are going to have at it! Steve Jaros: Google it! Pow! Smash! Oof! Google it! Crunch! The Molecular Biologist: There, now that Jaros is out of the way, I can have more lines. Steven Carter: I'm sorry but what do we do now? The Molecular Biologist: Now we wait for Spinman. Oh yeah, get the Boxcar ready just in case things don't go our way. - Roy Navarre: It's about time you arrived Turkey! Turkey: Sorry, Alfred was busy sewing on the "S". Roy Navarre: Time to get dressed........ and in a flash I become...... Spinman: ......Spinman! Time to save Laker City from OT posts! Turkey: So who is it that escaped from the OT prison? Spinman: None other than Mr. OT himself, The Molecular Biologist. Turkey: Holy OT posts, Spinman! Spinman: I'm surprised he has the guts to show up after he refused to take my bet last year! Let's go teach him a lesson! Spingirl: Wait! Wait! Wait for me! Spinman: Huh? What is Jane doing here? Turkey, you let her follow you? Spingirl: I want to help! Couldn't you use a condescending bitch on your team? Spinman: No! Spingirl: You better let me help or else my dad is going to get really sick! Spinman: Get lost bitch! Turkey, to the Spinmobile! Spingirl: Fine, when Shaq starts to suffer financially after I stop buying his products, you'll be begging for my help! - Steven Carter: I'm sorry but you used a contraction. The Molecular Biologist: So? You did as well. Steven Carter: I'm sorry but I didn't. Prove that I did instead of just saying I did. The Molecular Biologist: You just did it again. SpamTrapper: What does this have to do with the Lakers? Please, stop this OT nonsense! I can't take it anymore! Where is Spinman when you need him? Spinman: Heeeeere I come to save the day!!! The Molecular Biologist: It's about time you arrived Spinman. Steven Carter: Contraction. The Molecular Biologist: Shutup! Spinman: Your OT posting days are over Wolner! The Molecular Biologist: We'll see about that! King Tut: Ah! I have you now Scphin-head! Bow down to the King! Branden: What the?! S_Knight: Cut! King Tut: What happened? Did I say my line wrong? Bow down to the King! Branden: What the hell is going on? You said that I was going to be the main villain! What is King Tut doing here? S_Knight: Tut, you idiot! Your episode doesn't begin filming for another 2 weeks! King Tut: Oops. Bow down to the King! S_Knight: Ok, let's take it from Spinhead's line.... Branden: I hope there's no more interruptions. You know how hard it is to get back into character? S_Knight: Ok, ready and action! Spinman: Your OT posting days are over Wolner! The Molecular Biologist: We'll see about that! Steven Carter: Stand back! I'm sorry Mr. Wolner but let me handle this. Afterall, there is no one more athletic or more involved in sports than I am! Boxing, Fencing, Wrestling, Kung-Fu, Bandwidth Waster, you name it! I'm sorry to say but I am the master! The Molecular Biologist: Shut up and fight! Spinman: Let's do this! Turkey, make sure the Real Audio recorder is working! I want to make sure everyone "hears" me kicking Wolner's ass! Pow! Smash! Zap! Oof! Kazam! Crack! Zowie! The Molecular Biologist: Ha! Spinman, you fight like Roy Navarre! Spinman: You haven't won yet! Nobody saw you kicking my ass! I can alter the Real Audio recordings to make it look like I won! The Molecular Biologist: You must have forgotten all the security cameras around here. Spinman: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! The Molecular Biologist: Joker, tie them up with the rest of them! Steven Carter: I'm sorry, I've fallen and I can't get up! The Molecular Biologist: I thought you were the master. Didn't you say you would finish a sport and then start another one right after it? Steven Carter: Well yeah, I'm sorry but everytime a sport was too difficult for me, I just quit and started another one. The Molecular Biologist: Ok, now that Spinman and Turkey are our prisoners, we shall make them suffer by posting tons and tons of OT posts! Spinman: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Steven Carter: I'm sorry, you realize of course that Congress never officially declared war on Vietnam, therefore there was no war. Spinman: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Someone tell me this is just a dream! Tell me I'll wake up in bed with Shaq beside me! The Molecular Biologist: I haven't even begun yet! Just wait till I bring up the "B" word! Spinman, Turkey, and SpamTrapper: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will our heroes escape from the OT posting of The Molecular Biologist and the Joker? Tune in next week, Same Spin Time, Same Spin Channel!