Jedi quits dead end job

Manager: Mr. Petrohilos. I'd like to see you in my office please.

Jedi: Cool. I must be getting a raise and promotion! (flexes his muscles)

Manager: Have a seat.

Jedi: Thanks.

Manager: This is the second time I've had to call you into my office. The
last time, you were caught stealing heroin from our supply room.

Jedi: Yes and I've learned from my mistake! I realize that our research is
important on how heroin can be beneficial to peace loving sharks!

Manager: Mr. Petrohilos. I'd like you to explain this. These are some of the
websites you have visisted recently...... iwanttolickhewitt.com,
ironsidespornclub.com, followingbitchesareus.com,
fakephotostoimpressgaymen.com, jackandironsidespornoreviews.com. Would you like
to explain exactly how these are work related?

Jedi: Gulp. Um... you're lying! I never visisted those websites!

Manager: Perhaps you're unaware that we are able to track your movements on
the internet.

Jedi: Damn. That excuse worked on usenet! Why won't it work now! Um.... that
wasn't me! It was my evil twin!

Manager: Mr. Petrohilos, we've also been tracking your email conversations.
Your behavior here is quite consistent with those of your email messages.
Pretty much acting like a 5 year old.

Jedi: Damn! None of my usual excuses are working! One last try! Um, I was
only kidding around! I didn't mean anything I said in those emails!

Manager: I can only go by what you say.

Jedi: Well at least that one worked! Damn! Taken down by my own excuse!

Manager: We're going to have to restrict your access to the net.

Jedi: You mean no more porn?

Manager: That's right.

Jedi: No more gayguy clubs?

Manager: No more.

Jedi: Fine. Will I at least have usenet access?

Manager: No.

Jedi: What? How will I live without Ben or Bozak to follow around? That's
unacceptable! That's it! I quit!