Greg on Who wants to be a Millionaire

Special basketball edition of Who wants to be a Millionaire.

Regis: So let's meet our first contestant. So Greg, what is it
you do for a living?

Greg: I basically enlighten shitbag newbies on the internet.

Regis: Explain to our viewers what a shitbag newbie is.

Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! It's self-explanatory you idiot!
You're a fucking SBN yourself! Can we get on with the show
already?

Regis: (stunned look) Ok..... So let's play!

Regis: Ok, Greg, you know the rules, you have 3 lifelines.

Greg: No duh. Why do you always have to state the obvious?

Regis:  Here's the 100 dollar question. Donald T. Sterling is
the owner of what basketball team. A. The Celtics, B....

Greg: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! What the fuck kind of
question is this? I don't need multiple choice. The answer is
the Clippers. Next question.

Regis: Is that your final answer?

Greg: Is that a rhetorical question? Shit, that question is as
stupid as the 100 dollar question. Get on with the show already.
You would probably have saved 20 extra minutes of the show if
you didn't waste so much time asking that stupid question.

(skip to 10,000 question)

Regis: Ok Greg, which team won the NBA Championship in 1948.

Greg: Shit. What about the multiple choice?

Regis: Well you've been cutting me off all show about how you
don't need multiple choice.

Greg: Fuck you! Give them to me asshole!

Regis: Ok, was it A. The Philadelphia Warriors, B. The
Philadelphia 76ers, C. The Boston Celtics, D. The Baltimore
Bullets.

Greg: Shit.....

Regis: You do have 3 lifelines.

Greg: Well, it would be no use to ask the audience since they
know less than me. Let me have the 50/50.

Regis: Our computer will now eliminate two of the choices.....
that leaves A. The Philadelphia Warriors and D. The Baltimore
Bullets.

Greg: I knew that! Uh...... I think I need to phone a friend.

Regis: Who would you like to call?

Greg: JC... no wait, he doesn't know anything. Branden Wolner.

Regis: Is he a friend of yours?

Greg: Shit! What's with all these personal questions?

Regis: Ok, our operator will now dial Branden's number.

Branden: Hello.

Regis: Branden, this is Regis from Who wants to be a Millionaire.

Branden: Regis! How you doing?

Regis: Other than having to deal with verbal attacks from your
friend Greg, I'm doing fine. Now Greg here needs your help. He's
working on $10,000.

Branden: Alright, Greg, I get a cut of this money, right?

Greg: We'll negotiate that later.

Regis: Ok, Greg you have 30 seconds.

Greg: Ok, Branden, which NBA team won the championship in 1948?
Was it the Philadelphia Warriors or the Baltimore Bullets?

Branden: Uh....

Greg: Shit, just hang up on that guy now.

Regis: But it hasn't even been 30 seconds yet.

Greg: He obviously doesn't know. I'd rather take a guess myself.
Shit, I should called JC.

Greg: ........

Regis: You still have one lifeline left.

Greg: I'm not putting my money in the hands of your idiot
audience. Fuck it, I'm going to take my money and run.

Regis: Ok, just for fun, if you had to take a guess, which would
you have taken?

Greg: Uh, the Baltimore Bullets.

Regis: That was indeed the correct answer.

Greg: Shit! I knew it! Well at least I still took your money
asshole! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Damn this is
more money than I've made in my entire life!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!