Vamps in Tights
© Jinni
"So.what's this movie about?" Angel asked quietly, looking around for the box. The tape had already been set up when he and Cordelia had arrived.
Willow smiled over at the dark haired vampire before winking at Cordelia. She hummed a little tune, causing both her own mate and his Sire to stare in confusion while the former cheerleader began to laugh.
"'Men in Tights', Will?" Cordelia chuckled, trying to act surprised. The movie was something she and the red head had talking about the week before when their vamps weren't paying attention - how funny would it be to get those two into 'tights'? She smirked, hiding the expression behind her hand. "You're gonna -love- this movie Angel.its sorta like Robin Hood.only funnier."
Willow nodded emphatically. It had taken all her willpower not to break down when Spike had asked her what she had planned for the evening. It was tradition, after all, for the movie to lead on to more exciting and daring escapades. She had just given him her sweetest smile and told him she 'just wanted a good laugh for once'. Amazingly, he had bought it hook line and sinker.
"It looks stupid." Spike muttered as the credits rolled by. He rolled his eyes, giving his mate a pleading look. "C'mon, pet..do we really have to watch this? Lets go get a horror movie or even one of those bloody chit flicks..I have no desire to see some ponces trampling about doing good deeds." He smirked down at the red head in his arms. "I thought you had better taste in movies than this, ducks."
The young witch hid a smile in his chest before turning wide green eyes up to his face. She flashed him a smile. "Care to make a wager then? You and the Brooding-One?"
"Hey!" Angel smirked. "I'm not -that- bad anymore." He pulled Cordelia closer to him, his eyes narrowing. "Just for arguments sake though.what kind of wager?"
Willow sat up, pulling back from Spike. "I bet you two will be howling in laughter before the movie is half through."
The blonde haired vampire smirked, winking at his Sire. This would be too easy. There was no way some corny little movie was going to make him -or- Peaches 'howl' with laughter. "I think its pretty safe to ask 'what happens -when- we win'?"
"-If- you win," The red head smirked, emphasizing the word. "Me and Delia will do anything you want.just name it. Another night playing paintball for all we care, right Del." She waited for the former cheerleader to nod before continuing. "But if we win..hmm.something equally as bad.."
Cordelia furrowed her brows together, as if in deep though. "Oh! I know." Motioning for Willow to come closer in a move they had planned for the past week, the cheerleader whispered to her, careful to keep her tone too light for the vampires' delicate hearing to pick up.
"That's perfect!" Willow cried out in mock excitement. "When -we- win. You two need to dress up as Sunnydale's very own caped crusaders, costumes picked out by me and Delia of course, and 'save' us from danger in front of Buffy and the others."
A light when on behind Spike's eyes. It was clear to him now that this had been planned. The way the two girls were looking at each other with self righteous smirks. They had planned this all along. Looking over at his Sire, the blonde could see that he had figured out the same thing. The silly chits thought they could actually fool two of the baddest vampires in all of history - and win at it? Not bloody likely. He gave the older vampire a brief nod before grinning at the smirking red head. "Fine, ducks." He motioned at the big screen TV with one of his fingers, grabbing a handful of popcorn. "Let's watch the bloody movie."
** ** ** "I feel bloody ridiculous." Spike growled, looking down at the costume Willow had chosen for him. He had trusted his little witch not to pick something too degrading, too demeaning, too...poof-like. That trust wouldn't be misplaced again. The pale blue tights with white belt and boots just screamed 'nancy-boy' - not to mention the sequined mask she was making him wear.
"-You- feel ridiculous?" Angel snorted. He couldn't believe that Cordelia, with all her fashion sense had put together his costume. He didn't think she could have put together a more mismatched outfit if she had -tried- to. Navy blue tights contrasted glaringly with bright red gloved and boots.
"Why are we doing this again, Sire?" The blonde complained, moving to look over the side of the building at the crowd gathered outside of the Bronze.
"Because we love them?"
"Uh huh." Spike snorted. "We're effin whipped."
"That we are." The dark haired vampire snickered. He came to stand next to his Childe, whispering in a husky voice, "You do look damn good in tights, though, Will."
"Aw...Peaches..." Spike batted his eyes coyly at his Sire, running his hand along the older vampire's arm.
Angel swallowed around the lump in his throat, deliberately avoiding the glacial blue eyes of the man next to him. He hadn't meant what he said to sound like a come on. But that's what always seemed to happen with the blonde. Every little nuance, every uttered word was turned into a pickup line around him. "There they are." The older man pointed down to the streets below, glad for the distraction. He could easily make out the different members of the Scooby Gang.
"What are we waiting for then?" Spike grinned.
"Some sort of danger so that we can rescue them?"
"Oh that. Don't worry. They're going to get ambushed by some fledglings outside the park." Spike grinned.
"William...."
"Not my doing, daddy." The blonde said, bristling at the implied insult. "I overheard it when I went to Willie's earlier. Figured it would be the perfect time to do the girls' little challenge."
Angel tilted his head to the side, watching as the gang slowly made their way down the street. It actually wasn't that bad of an idea. They go in, kill some vamps, let everyone see them, and go home and get out of the stupid tights. "Good thinking." He grinned at his Childe. "Lets go."
"After you." Spike smirked.
"You just wanna watch my ass." The dark haired vampire grinned. He winked at the blonde before turning and walking away.
"Not bloody likely." Spike called after him, his eyes never once leaving his sire's perfectly sculpted backside.
* * * * * *
Buffy dropped to her knees, sweeping a kick under the feet of the vampire nearest her. It fell to the ground with a surprised yelp. He scrambled to his feet, his back colliding with.... A man in tights? Buffy blinked twice, trying to clear the ridiculous sight in front of her.
It didn't work. The blonde couldn't pull her eyes from the man as he pulled a stake from within a bright red glove and dusted the vampire. Her eyes took in the form fitting navy blue tights, covering the tall dark haired man from feet to neck. His face was concealed with some sort of Halloween mask. All she could tell for certain about him was that he had dark brown hair. Sort of like Angel's. {No....Angel would -never- wear tights!} She thought, waiting to see if the super-hero wanna-be would say anything to her.
"Buffy, behind you!" Willow yelled, startling the blonde out of her thoughts. She watched as Buffy ducked, kicked and staked the vampire that had been about to jump her from behind. Her laughing green eyes lighted on Angel standing there, staring at the Slayer and weeks of experience let her know from the slight twitch of his mouth he was trying not to laugh.
"Where's Blondie?" Cordelia whispered, coming to stand next to Willow. She scanned the melee taking place around her, searching for the tell tale shock of bleached blonde hair that screamed 'Spike'. "Never mind, I see him."
Willow looked at where Cordelia was pointing, biting her lip to keep from laughing. Spike was there, alright, fighting a couple of fledges alongside Xander and Riley. Even at that distance she could see the shock and confusion on the mortals' faces.
"Oh god." Cordelia spluttered, laughter bursting from her lips. Her eyes sparkled with unconcealed merriment as she watched Spike reach a hand down to help Xander off the ground. Her laughter only increased as her ex-boyfriend scooted away from the 'Bleached Wonder', making his way to his feet without any help.
"I think Xander might die of shock..." Willow chuckled softly, watching as the teen eyed the blonde haired crusader warily. She couldn't tell if he was more disturbed by the 'hero's' nauseatingly tight jumpsuit or his rather silly mask.
"And I might die of laughter." Cordelia chortled. She froze in mid-laugh, jabbing the red head next to her in the ribs with her elbow. "Buffy." She whispered under her breath, giving the blonde her best 'what's going on' look.
"Who are they?" Buffy whispered to the two girls as she joined them. They stood off to the side, watching as the two 'mysterious' caped crusaders helped the boys dispatch the last of the fledglings roaming the cemetery.
Willow shrugged, putting on her best confused look. "I don't know.but they appear to be on our side.I think?"
The blonde haired Slayer nodded, biting her lip as one of the strange newcomers offered to shake Riley's hand. The former commando backed away so quickly Buffy couldn't help but laugh. "They seem nice enough, I guess."
Cordelia nodded, trying not to erupt into mad laughter at the outright confused look coloring Buffy's features. This was too good to be true and she would definitely have to make it up to Angel for making him go through it - dare or no dare. "Oh.here they come." She tried to look hesitant as the boys made their way toward them. "Um.thanks for your help.?" She bit her lip. "What should we call you?"
"No names." Spike said in a falsetto-high voice. He could see Willow fighting not to break into laughter out of the corner of his eye and it was all he could do not to join her as he regarded Cordelia with all seriousness. "We came merely to do our job.and now we must be off.home."
"Home?" Buffy asked, curiosity piqued. "Where are you from? Are you new to town? Will you be back? Do you two live together."
Angel smirked. He cleared his throat, deepening his already very masculine voice. This was an opportunity he couldn't pass up, playing the joke along further. "We are not from here. I doubt we will be back. And, yes, we live together." He put his arm around the shoulders of the blonde vampire next to him, throwing the startled humans a sly look. "This is my sidekick, after all." He gave the group a wink and slapped Spike on the ass. "Come now, Boy Wonder. Back to the lair."
"Yes, Master." Spike grinned, turning on his heel and flouncing off down the street.
"Master?" Angel called after him, also turning from the group. "Remember that when we get home, Boy."
"The dark haired one certainly has a nice ass." Cordelia murmured quietly, so that only Buffy and Willow could hear her. Concentrating on her mate's attributes was the only thing she could think of to get her mind off of the hilarity of the entire situation.
"I dunno," Buffy whispered. "The blonde one's was nicer."
"Buffy!" Willow gasped in shock, filing the bit of info back in her mind to tell Spike when she got back home. "Remember Riley? You should -not- be looking at strange men's asses!." The red head pointed over at the two men standing not too far away, faces mirrors of shock.
Xander stared after the two caped men, his mouth dropping open in shock. With a face full of shock and confusion, he turned to Riley and, in a stage whisper, said, "Who were those two masked men?"
** ** **
"Willow!"
Blinking in shock, the red head finished stepping into the door of Giles' house, Spike in tow. She could hear Angel and Cordelia somewhere behind them, making their way more slowly down the walk. "What Buffy?"
"Remember those two guys from last night? In the graveyard?"
Willow nodded as Spike snorted, flopping into a chair across from Riley and giving him a leer. "Yeah, Buff, I remember. Sort of hard to forget." She jabbed her mate with her elbow as she sat in his lap, jerking him out of his staring match with Riley.
"Well," Buffy continued. "There was a small article about them in the paper this morning. I guess on the way back to their lair they saved this woman from getting hit by a car!" She held up the paper.
"Let me see." Cordelia grinned, grabbing the paper from the Slayer as she flounced into the living room. She scanned it quickly before giving Angel a secret smile. "Wow. That certainly was a nice thing of them to do."
The blonde haired Slayer nodded, missing the looks passing between the two other couples. "It really was." She sighed a little. "I still wish we could have found out who they were, though."
"Why, Slayer?" Spike smirked, looking away from playing with Willow's hair. He knew all about the comments made the night before and couldn't resist risking the secret by taunting her just a little. "Looking for a cute piece of ass?"
"Hey!" Riley said, jumping up and totally missing the look of shock coloring Buffy's face. "She's not looking for -any- piece of ass. She has me."
"Exactly," Angel smirked. "Why look for a piece of ass when she already has someone who is -all- ass?" He chuckled softly, standing and offering his hand to Cordelia. "Spike, Wills. Wanna go back to your place for a bit before we leave for LA?"
"Sounds like a plan to me!" Willow chirped, standing quickly and forcing Spike to his feet. She could tell by the look on Buffy's face that any moment two and two were going to come together and all Hell would break loose. "Bye guys, see you tomorrow!"
Xander waved as the couples left, watching Buffy with curiosity. She had been extremely quiet since Spike's taunt and he had no clue why. Sure, it had been rude and uncalled for, but no more so than anything else he ever said. "Buffster? You ok?"
The Slayer turned to Xander, her eyes growing wide and shocked. It all fell into place in her mind at once - the two men, one dark haired and one not. One tall and one not so tall. "They.were.." She fumbled for the words.
"Rude?" Riley interjected, still fuming from the blonde vampire's comments.
"No!" Buffy said sharply, rolling her eyes. "They were the two guys from last night!"
Xander and Riley looked at each other, their mouths dropping open as they had the night before. And with a long deep breath, Giles' house resounded with a masculine chorus of,
"WHAT?!?"
**End**