Anonymous
© M. Jade
This fic deals heavily with the ideas of addiction and abuse, with magic being the abused substance of choice. Be ready to take a meeting Big Thanks: To Sammy, who’s idea created the spark for the trilogy, and who has given me such support. You rock my friend.
Buffy Summers tip-toed quietly into her best friend’s bedroom, walking over to the windows and opening the curtains, allowing the light of early morning to stream into the room. “No sun, please,” Willow Rosenberg murmured groggily from the bed.
“Sorry, Will. It’s time to get up.” Willow grumbled as she tried to open her eyes.
“No it’s not,” she protested.
“Yes it is,” the Slayer repeated.
“Do I have to get up?”
“You know you do, Will.” Willow sat up on the bed as Buffy came and sat on the side, next to her friend.
“Is Dawnie okay?” Willow asked with a small voice.
“Yeah. She’s still very sore, but she insisted on going to school. Her note from the ER will get her out of gym, so I figured it was okay. Look, Willow, last night…”
“I have no excuse for what I did last night,” Willow interrupted. “I could’ve… God, Buffy, I don’t want to think about what I could have done. I don’t know how you could ever forgive me for what I did,” she finished.
“Will, it’s okay,” Buffy assured her in a small voice.
“No, it’s not! I made some horrible mistakes… Buffy, I’m not sure I know how to stop. I know I said no more magic, but I don’t know how. It’s not like there’s some sort of Magic’s Anonymous I can walk into. You know, ‘hello, my name is Willow Rosenber and I’m addicted to magic’ or something. I know I need help, but I don’t know where to go,” Willow admitted. “Buffy, I’m scared. I’m scared of myself.” For a few moments, Buffy just looked over to her friend, trying to keep her gaze from showing her shared anguish.
“We’ll figure something out, Will. There has to be something we can do, right? Maybe… maybe I should call Giles. He may know about something that could help you,” Buffy pointed out.
“Do you have to tell him what I did…”
“Will…” Buffy began.
“Just checking. He would find out somehow, so it’s okay,” Willow assured her. “It couldn’t be any worse than what’s already happened.” Buffy nodded, rising from her seat on the bed.
“Then I’ll call him.” She bent down and gave Willow a hug. As she left the room, she turned to look at Willow again. “Just remember that we’re in this with you. You won’t be in this alone, Will, no matte what.”
“Thanks.” Buffy nodded, and quietly left the room. Willow then let out a sigh and rose from the bed, walking over to the window. She looked out and watched the beginning of a new day. Some time later, Buffy entered the room, holding the cordless handset for the phone. Willow had been lying on the bed, silent up to that point, then looked over to Buffy as she entered the room.
“It’s Giles. He wants to talk to you, Will.” Willow sighed as she rose from the bed and took the phone, nodding to Buffy.
“Giles,” Willow greeted him. “It’s good to hear from you.” As Willow went on, Buffy quietly slipped out of the room, leaving Willow by herself.
“Hello, Willow. It’s very nice to hear from you as well,” Giles greeted her, the tone of his voice telling of a certain sadness.
“I suppose Buffy told you about what I did,” Willow said, trying to hold back her tears.
“Yes, she has,” Giles answered softly. She closed her eyes, waiting for what was inevitably going to come next, but Giles remained silent.
“Are you going to yell at me?”
“No, I’m not. I know how serious your actions were, Willow, and I know that the outcome could have been far worse. I could say that I’m extremely disappointed in you, and that you have acted quite foolishly. I could have reminded you that you could not only have severely injured yourself but Dawn as well. I could have said all those things, Willow, but I believe you have already said them to yourself,” Giles explained. In a way, his words seemed to ease her mood, acknowledging her mistakes yet not berating her.
“Thank you.”
“Willow, there is… there is a place you could go, where you could get help. If you’re willing, I have spoken with Buffy and I could make the arrangements for you. It’s here, in England, but I believe they could truly be of help to you, Willow, if you let them.”
“I… don’t know what to say, Giles. I just … I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t know if anyone can help me,” Willow said in a small voice. Over the line, she could hear Giles sigh.
“You are not beyond all hope, Willow. You have to believe that. I know you’re strong enough to get through this. It’s not easy to admit when you need help, but it is the first step. The first of many, I’m afraid, and none of them will be easy, but you’ve come this far,” Giles told her in a gentle voice. “I know you can do this.”
“Do you really think they could help me, Giles?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Then I’ll do it.” Finally, she had made up her mind. She could almost hear the relief on his end.
“I’ll make the arrangements, then.”
“All right.”
“I’ll talk to you soon, to let you know the details.”
“Thank you, Giles,” Willow replied, feeling as though she had had a great weight lifted from her mind. For the first time in longer than she cared to remember, she felt like she knew where she was going.
“This is only the beginning for you, Willow.” With that he hung up, leaving Willow to ponder what he had said.