A Little Self-Deception
Angel entered the office to see Cordelia dusting off her desk and organizing the files scattered upon it into a neat and orderly stack. Unable to hide his shock, Angel said, "Cordelia, you're cleaning!"
Cordelia gave him a disgusted look and returned to organizing her mess.
Angel continued, "I mean, I haven't seen you clean since... Well, I've NEVER seen you clean to be quite honest."
Cordelia sighed as she turned to him. "I'm going to ignore that last remark."
"Not that I'm not happy to see you taking initiative and everything, but why ARE you cleaning?"
"Remember back in Sunnydale when I used to rule the world?"
Angel nodded. "It's kind of hard to forget."
"Well, someone who knew the old Cordelia is on their way to see the new Cordelia."
"One of the Cordettes is coming to visit you?" Angel grinned.
"The Cordettes?" Cordelia asked, slightly confused by the reference.
"One of your old high school friends," Angel explained.
"Yeah, Jennifer Perkins. She's vacationing in LA, and she heard that I was here so she decided to drop by for a visit."
"And yet you don't seem happy."
"HAPPY?! More like on the verge of a nervous breakdown."
"Why?"
"Hello!! Where have you been the past few months?" Cordelia asked. "I mean, I want to impress her, and I have nothing to show for my time in LA."
"But, Cordy, you have a great job and a great apartment and great friends."
Cordelia scoffed in response. "Okay, let's break that statement down, shall we? Great job? I'm a secretary-slash-seer-slash-demon chaser for a vampire who just so happens to be the ex-boyfriend of a girl I really can't stand."
"Okay..."
"Great apartment? Well, first there was that whole ghost-almost-made-me-commit-suicide fiasco. And now there's the whole ghost-as-a-roommate deal."
"But, Cordelia..."
"Great friends? Well, let's see. The last time I got physical with a guy, I ended up eight months pregnant with seven demon babies. One of my friends was a half-demon who died in order to save the world, and the other is the vampire who hired me."
"Cordelia, look on the bright side," Angel intervened. "At least you're happy, right?"
"Right now, I don't need HAPPY. Right now, I need to be rich with lots of hot guys waiting on me hand and foot."
Frowning, Angel replied, "Glad to see you have your priorities straight."
"Angel, could you just do me a favor and NOT embarass me?"
"When have I ever embarassed you?"
Before Cordelia could reply, a young blonde woman knocked on the door to the office as she slowly pushed it open.
"Just don't turn vamp or anything," Cordelia quietly pleaded.
"I promise," Angel smirked as he sat on the edge of the desk.
"Jennifer!" Cordelia squealed happily as she greeted her old friend with open arms.
"Cordelia!" Jennifer squealed back as they hugged eagerly.
"And how are you?" Cordelia asked as they released each other.
"I'm just great," Jennifer smiled, tossing her long hair over her shoulder. "I just can't believe I'm visiting THE Cordelia Chase in LA! Who would have thought it?"
"Definitely not me," Cordelia nervously replied.
Glancing over Cordelia's shoulder at Angel, Jennifer replied, "I see you snagged yourself a gorgeous LA guy."
"Who? Him?" Cordelia asked, motioning over her shoulder to Angel. She scrunched up her nose as she said, "Eww....no. He's my boss."
Taking his cue to introduce himself, Angel approached the women. "Hi, I'm Angel," he said as he offered his hand for Jennifer to shake.
Jennifer smiled back seductively as she shook his hand. "Angel. I like that. Is that short for anything?"
Angel hesitated before replying, "No, it's just Angel."
Annoyed, Cordelia interrupted. "Okay, well, you've met my boss so now how about some lunch? There's this new fancy restaurant that just opened up downtown."
"That sounds great."
"Hey, Cordelia," Angel said. "Can I talk to you really quick before you go?"
Cordelia nodded and turned to Jennifer. "I'll meet you downstairs in one sec, Jennifer."
Jennifer nodded and waved goodbye to Angel as she left.
Once Jennifer was gone, Angel said, "Cordelia, I know you feel that you have to impress this girl, but you don't have to. That was high school, and this is now. You said it yourself, Cordy, people change."
"Angel, I know what you're trying to do, but it's only for today. Once Jennifer's gone, I'll be back to the broke and desperate Cordy you know and love, but right now, I have to show Jennifer that I'm still the same Cordelia Chase that ruled all over Sunnydale High."
"Just don't go lying to yourself to impress her, Cordelia. It's not worth it."
"One day of self-deception has never hurt anyone. Ciao," she smiled as she walked happily out of the office.
**********
"So, how's the old gang?" Cordelia asked as she and Jennifer sat at a table in the restaurant. "How's Harmony doing?"
Jennifer shrugged. "Last time I saw her, she was leaving with some blond, pale English guy. Haven't seen her since. Word is that she's as big as a house now, and her and the English guy live in a mobile home with three kids."
"Wow," Cordelia replied, amazed.
"Yeah, she was always such a loser," Jennifer scoffed. "I don't know why we let her hang out with us."
"Yeah," Cordelia replied quietly, looking down at her half-eaten Ceasar salad nervously.
"So, Cordy, you're a big LA actress now. Anything I've seen?"
Cordelia laughed nervously in response. "Um, probably not. It's just some local commercials and stuff. I haven't hit the big time just yet."
"We always knew you would be the extra successful one of the group. You would always tell us that we would see your name up in lights one day."
"Yeah, that's me. The big dreamer."
"I mean, look at me. I'm going off to work in a top fashion designing corporation, and you're going to be the actress wearing the clothes I design."
"Well, I don't know about all of that..."
"Please, Cordy, you're just being modest. Cordelia Chase is, like, the perfect screen name. I mean, you were destined for this."
Cordelia sighed in frustration as her conscience kicked in. "Okay, Jennifer, I can't take it anymore."
"What are you talking about?"
"I am not this big actress that I've led you to believe, okay? I mean, I haven't had an audition in weeks. I'm really a lousy secretary for a private investigator. My social life stinks, and the only real friend I have is my boss. But I do have an awesome apartment!"
A smirk crept upon Jennifer's face as she replied, "Wow, Cordelia... wait til the gang hears about this. Cordelia Chase as an LA secretary."
Cordelia frowned in response. "You know what, Jennifer? This isn't high school anymore. I don't give a damn what you and the other Sunnydale misfits think about me now. I may not be living some big extravagent lifestyle, but at least I'm HAPPY... kind of. So, I've changed. So, I'm not the same Cordelia Chase from high school. Big deal. At least I, unlike you, have grown up."
Jennifer looked at her, shocked. "Well..."
Cordelia stood, grabbing her purse off the table. "Well, it was nice catching up with you, Jenn. Next time you're in town, DON'T look me up." Cordelia smiled daintily and walked out as the waitress brought Jennifer the bill for their lunch.
**********
Angel was sitting at his desk, reading a novel when Cordelia entered and sat in one of the empty chairs across from his desk.
"Remember when I told you NOT to embarass me?" Cordelia asked.
Angel looked up at her, closing his book. "Yeah?"
"Well, you embarassed me."
"Me? What did I do?"
"You put all that crap in my head about not impressing Jennifer and being truthful to myself."
Angel smirked. "What happened, Cordelia?"
"Oh, nothing. I just ruined what was left of my old reputation." She glanced at her watch. "Jennifer is probably calling all her friends in Sunnydale right now, telling them about how Cordelia Chase is a crappy secretary in LA."
Angel smiled, sitting back in the chair. "You told her the truth," he realized.
"Unfortunately, my conscience got the best of me."
"Well, I must say I'm proud of you, Cordelia."
"For what? Making a complete ass of myself?"
"No, for sticking up for yourself."
"It was just a horrible lapse in judgement. It will never happen again."
"Cordelia, I know that this probably doesn't mean much to you, but I-- personally-- like the new Cordelia Chase more than the old one."
"You're right. That does mean nothing to me," Cordelia replied, standing. She added with a smile, "But I do appreciate it."
Angel smiled back as Cordelia disappeared around the doorway, making her way to her own desk.