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Lia and the Stranger

© Kylie

Cordelia sighed as she leaned back against her front door. It had been a long day. First, she had slept through the alarm, the hot water had run out, halfway through her shower, and her teeth had chattered halfway to work. To which she had arrived late, despite skipping breakfast, only to find that they were out of coffee, which didn't particularly bother either Angel or Wesley, as they both quite happily drank tea.

On her way back from the store a vision had hit. Of a very large, very ugly demon. After having told Angel and Wesley about it, they had gone to kill it. Then she'd drawn dismemberment duties. That had gotten slime and demon goo all over her clothes. She just knew that she'd never be able to get it out, those clothes were a complete loss. She had somehow managed to delete the office email account. It had taken a frantic call to Willow to sort that out. And to top it all off she had had a second vision. After relating it to Angel and Wes she had headed home. They could do this without her, she wasn't in any mood to go chasing demons. Angel and Wes had dropped her off on their way to the latest abandoned warehouse. What was it with demons and warehouses anyway??

After a shower, and sucessfully removing the remaining demon goo from her hair, she sat sown at the desk and booted up her computer. Technically it was AI's computer, but it hadn't made it as far as the Hyperion when Angel had moved in. Cordelia had claimed it and had been making frequent use of it since they had lost the old offices in the explosion. Quickly downloading her email she scanned her inbox. Ah, there was the one she was looking for! She opened the mail and began reading.

'Lia,

What a coincidence. I've just moved myself. My place of residence as well though. I would say you are more fortunate just to be moving your offices, moving both is chaos! I lived here a while back, and while not all the memories are pleasant, this place just seems to feel right. My friends didn't really agree when they first saw the place. They don't seem to be having any problems now though, and I'm happy that they are more comfortable here now.

Work has been busy lately. I think that something big may be coming. Call it boss' intuition. :-) Although sometimes I do have to wonder if I'm really the boss. Whirlwind seems to be in charge more often than not. I get a bit of a kick out of it, her mothering us...me. Not that I would tell her that, she would be unbearable! :->

Whirlwind seems to have fully recovered from her illness, although she still has episodes. I wish I could take away the pain. Every time she has one, I feel so helpless. But she just smiles slightly and carries on. I'm not sure I could do the same if I were in her shoes.

Tomes has also recovered well. His life seems to be falling into place for him. He seems to be really happy with the way things are going. We had a bit of an upset a couple of weeks ago. Nothinig too... well it was serious, but it wasn't fatal to the business. Even if it had been, no doubt Whirlwind would have found a way us to keep going, probably by sheer will!

I do apologise for taking so long to reply to your last email. I'm glad to hear that you've recovered from your accident. No lasting side effects? I hope not. Having fun with your house guests? Or are you all getting on each other's nerves? :-) Has your friend fully recovered yet? Or is he still a little sore? Did they spoil you rotten? I hope so, you deserve it.

Have you had a chance to read any of those books I recommended? I have to admit that I enjoyed Apollo 13. I wasn't sure that I would. I didn't find the movie especially interesting, although that could have something to do with the fact that I was somewhat distracted at the time.

Oh, and you were right about The Shawshank Redemption. I thought that was really good. Have you read the book? I thought it was going to be a horror when I first saw that Stephen King wrote it.

Please write me soon, and let me know how you're doing. I promise to take less time to reply to the next one! ;->

Stranger'

Cordelia smiled wistfully. The way that Stranger talked..wrote.. about Whirlwind made her a little envious. She wanted someone to care about her like that. Ok, she wanted Angel to care for her like that. And while she knew that Angel and Wesley cared about her, she longed to be loved the way that Stranger loved Whirlwind. Not that he'd ever said as much, but she wasn't stupid, despite what some people thought. She could read between the lines. As she reread the last part of the mail, she grinned and hit Reply.

She had started writing to Stranger not long after she had dumped Xander. They had met through an annonymous online penfriend site. It had felt good to be able to vent to someone who didn't know her. He had talked about issues he was having with his girlfriend. During this they had become friends. They talked about life in general, books they read, movies they'd seen, how work was going, and absolutely anything they could think of.

But they never got specific. Details, real details, anything that could identify them, were a no-no. Neither of them knew the other's real name, where they worked or lived, other than the general. For example, Stranger knew that Lia worked in an office, Lia knew that Stranger owned his own business.

Despite this they knew each other remarkably well. In fact Stranger probably knew more about her than anybody else. Including Angel and Wes.

She knew that Stranger had ended a bad relationship, (her interpretation, based on how he had beaten himself up over 'The Ex') and that he had moved to an entirely new town, and started his own business, with a couple of friends. Prior to that he had travelled rather extensively, visiting most of the major cities of Europe and quite a few in the States. He had a very different view of the places he'd been, than the tour books, and he agreed with her about the cockroaches in Mexico being big enough to own property. He hadn't spent much time there, too sunny for his liking, but if she wanted to talk cockroaches, try New York. She had replied that there were more than enough in her apartment, thank you very much.

She had been over the moon about the new apartment, this being before she had found out about Dennis and his witch (or should that be bitch?) of a mother. He had even sent her an e-card as a housewarming. Of a cactus. Or was it cacti? So now she had a real cactus from Angel, (what had he been thinking? She was the original black thumb) and a virtual one from Stranger (at least she couldn't kill it).

Oh, now that gave her an idea!

'Stranger,

Good to hear from you. I was beginning to think you'd fallen off the face of the earth, it's nice to know that things are going well for you and your friends. Sorry to hear about Whirlwinds episodes. Here's hoping modern science or ancient medicine comes up with something to help. She certainly sounds like a remarkable person. She'd have to be for you to care so much for her. I couldn't handle anything like that, I don't think. I'm somewhat allergic to pain. :-) As for me recovering from my accident. No side effects other than a somewhat altered perspective on life. Nothing you weren't already aware of. Don't start worrying until I take up with the Jehovah's Witnesses and start using 'Praise the Lord' in every other sentance! ;->

Had a bad day today. Slept through the alarm, ran out of hot water for my shower, skipped breakfast, ended up doing a really ukky job, then stuffed up something on the computer. Our tech support said it wasn't really me, more the program protesting because I wanted it to do something that it's supposed to, but doesn't actually do, but still, I felt responsible. Your email has been the highlight of my day. Then again, your emails are always the highlights of my days!

Everyone is well. My house guests have departed. BB found a place that suited his needs. I didn't think too much of the place at first. My first day there was umm... freaky. But now it's been cleaned up, it's not too bad. BG's good. He has a lady friend. We haven't met her yet. I don't know whether I should look forward to it or not. Adding another person into the 'family' dynamic? I'm very nervous. I'm not sure I'm ready for things to change.

We've just hired another person at work. It's kinda weird. I've gotten so used to working with the others, their way of working, that it's taking a bit of getting used to, having another person there suddenly. Don't get me wrong, he's good at what he does (BB is better of course) but he has instances where he acts without really considering everything. He's still working as if he's on his own, instead of with the rest of us there to help, when necessary. He'll learn, I'm sure, but until then, it's weird.

You say that Whirlwind seems to be the boss at time? What do you guys do that requires her to mother you? Or isn't that question allowed? ;->

I'm glad you enjoyed The Shawshank Redemption. BB did too. (I had to nag him to get him to watch it with me though.) Yes I have read the book. I was extremely bored at the time and wasn't really looking to read a horror. Yes, that's right, you weren't the only one who thought it must have been a horror just because Stephen King wrote it. But if you're looking for a hororr... try reading The Diary of Jack the Ripper and watching Outbreak. Both gave me the chills, more for the fact that the senarios they portray are entirely possible, than anything else.

Yes! I did get to read a few of the books you recommended. I was kind of suprised to have enjoyed them. I read them whil my guests were out and I had nothing else to do. They tend to think of my reading more along the lines of Johanna Lindsey and Amanda Quic (which I do...). I didn't want to give them too great a shock. BG almost fell over when he found out I owned a complete set of Jane Austen!

I suppose if I wanted to be cruel I could recommend Amanda Quick to you. ;-P Why don't you try one, and let me know what you think?

Take care,

Lia

PS. Here's your housewarming present!'

********

Angel gave an honest-to-god grin when he downloaded Lia's housewarming gift. She's got him a couple of cactus. Cacti. Now just what was he supposed to do with that? He wondered what she had done with the one he had sent her. Did she still have it? Or had she deleted it? Some instinct told him that she's still have it. He re-read the mail. He looked forward to Lia's mails. Had since they'd started writing, while he was still living in Sunnydale. Willow had taught him some computer basics, and strangely enough some of it had stuck. Willow's position as Net Girl was in no danger of course, but he didn't get totally lost on the World Wide Web. He didn't particularly enjoy net surfing, but he could do it. If he really had to. Email on the other hand... That's how he had met Lia. He had stumbled across a site for email pen friends and had been intrigued. A couple of days laer a email from Lia had arrived in his inbox. Agter the first couple of strained, polite mails, he had been ready to bail, when a mail arrived from Lia, unlike her others.

This one had been longer for a start. She had been venting about a failed relationship, and her life in general. And when he read it, he could almost see her. She was there. In that mail was everything she was. Her anger, pain, courage, vunerability, intelligence and her passion. Later her vibrancy and her way of put-a-good-face-on-in-public, fall-apart-in-private had communicated themselves. All of this had spoken to him. He had found himself telling her about his relationship with Buffy (no names mentioned of course), about the issues he had with his past, places he'd been, people he'd met, and just life in general. They had even discussed the big no-no. Religion.

He knew that she didn't believe in god as such, but she did believe that there was something or someone out there looking out for everyone. Beyond that she was still searching for someone to place her faith in. Angel would lay good money that that person would be the mysterious BB. He didn't know what the letters stood for, and he'd never asked, although he'd come close a few times.

Lia knew that he prefered 'serious' books, movies and music (though she had been trying to lighten him up) and that his religious beliefs were similar to hers, though he did believe in hell. Well of course he did, he'd been there. And while Buffy had been his life preserver on his return, Lia had become his rock. She was the one he had been able to talk things out with. The one he had been able to explain his emotions to. With people he clammed up and found it difficult to verbalise what he wanted to say. With Lia it was easy.

They had seen each other through relationship breakdowns, death of friends, moving (repeatedly), accidents, illnesses, holidays, birthdays (they knew the month the other had been born in, but not the date) and life in general. They had argued, given advice, and on several occasions, Lia had told him off. Those usually arrived not long after Cordelia had told him off for pretty much the same thing, so he got the impression that the women in his life were ganging up on him. God, or rather the PTB's help him should Cordelia and Lia meet.

At least when Lia went off at him, he ended up with an apology. Usually saying that she had been right but probably a little harsh, and that it was BB's fault. He'd done/said something stupid and gotten her mad.

Angel wasn't sure whether to be envious of BB or pity him. Lia was nuts about the man. Not that she'd ever said anything, he could read between the lines. And he was a little jealous. BB had Lia's love, and Angel knew, especially considering her past, that it was a precious and rare gift. She would love completely, with everything she was and had. It was the only way she knew how, and he wished for someone to love him like that, with no reservations. All right, correction, he wished for Cordelia, to love him like that.

He wasn't sure wen it had happened, but sometime during the last year, he had fallen hopelessly in love with his Seer. He had come to the realisation while she had been lying in the neuro-psychiatric ward at St Matthews, suffering from the endless visions. While the thought of losing Wesley had scared and sadned him, the thought of losing Cordelia had flat out terrified him. He hadn't said anything to Cordelia of course. He hadn't wanted to risk losing her friendship, and as she just thought of him like a brother...

But even if she did return his feelings, what could they do about it? He was still a vampire, cursed with a soul. And then there was the clause to the curse.... Boy when the gypsies curse, they do it well.

Living with Cordelia these last few months had been a mixture of heaven and hell. They had been really comfortable with each other, aside from that extra awareness Angel had of Cordelia, which kicked in at some of the worst times. Like when they watched movies, (that had been the reason he hadn't gotten into Apollo 13) or basically whenever Cordelia got within three feet of him.

He'd used to watch her sleep, just to reassure himself that she was alright. He hadn't told her about that either, knowing it would weird her out. It was one of the things he missed the most now that he lived on his own again. He did have an arrangement with Dennis though, which eased his mind a little. They'd worked out a system of phone calls and email for Dennis to let Angel know if something was wrong with Cordelia.

He scanned the mail again. BG was seeing some? Angel was happy for him, although he could sympathise with Lia's mixed feelings. Wesley had been seeing someone and he was happy for him, but he wan't too sure about what it would mean to their relationship. He hoped that Lia liked BG's friend. He kniew how much lothe BG and BB ment to her. They were her family, and she would do anything for them, althought he doubted that they realised just how much she cared for them. Even through her letters he could see that she wore masks with other people. It was something they had in common. That presenting a face to the world, that people expected to see, but wasn't really them. He had the impression that people seemed to think Lia stupid, and he wandered what it was exactly that had caused her to present that face to the world. He didn't think that she'd tell him. It was perhaps too personal. There were somethings he knew not to ask about, and it wasn't because it was against their rules.

Any details about her childhood were out. So were questions about highschool. She had told him a little about the people she knew and he knew a bit about 'The Bastard'. He knew that her parents weren't around much and that highschool had been a life altering experience. But she refused to tell him any more than that.

Neither of them knew where the other lived or worked, and sometimes he wished he did. There were times when she sounded so lost that he just wanted to hold her, and let her know that everything was going to be ok. He could just imagine the look on BB and BG's faces. No doubt he would be interrogated. Who are you? Where did you come from? How do you know Lia?

What would he say? Oh, I'm Angel, I'm from LA. Lia and I are email buddies, and oh yes, I'm a vampire. That would go down well. They would freak, or lock him away in a mental institution, or both. And Lia. Would their friendship survive meeting?

That thought had crossed his mind on several occasions. More frequently in the last couple of months, since both Cordelia and Lia had been in hospital. Learning that Lia had had an accident and had been in the hospital, not long after Cordelia, had shaken him up. He could have lost the two women who ment the most to him, and he hadn't even met one of them! Should he suggest meeting? No. It was probably better like this. Lia may like him, but she wouldn't be prepared for him. A vampire. No, it was better this way.

A half smile appeared on his lips as he read the last few lines of Lia's mail. So she thought that recommending Amanda Quick was cruel?

'Lia,

Hate to pop your bubble, but I have actually read a couple of her books. Whirlwind owns a few. They werent bad, not what I'd normally read, but I was getting desperate for reading material.........'

***********

Cordelia slammed the door behind her, and made a beeline for her answering machine. No messages. Damn! She was waiting on a call from Willow. Her computer had gone through it's death throes and died, and now she couldn't retrieve her email. She was getting worried about Stranger. He hadn't written for a couple of weeks and she was getting really worried. She had called Willow to explain the problem, but still hadn't heard back yet. Oh, she really didn't want to take it to any of the tech guys here. She was sure they saw her coming. Now she really regretted not paying more attention in Miss Calender's computing class. She grabbed a Pepsi out of the fridge and debated what to do. She could try taking it to David, she supposed, but she still didn't feel very comfortable with him. She could try going to the library, but that wasn't..... Her train of thought was interupted by the doorbell. Who was that? It was the wrong time of day for Angel. She hoped it wasn't a Jehovah's withness. She wasn't in any mood to deal with them right now.

She flung the door open, she gasped in shock.

"Xander!?"

"Hey Cordy. Wills is a little busy at the moment, so here I am." Xander grinned at the look of shock on Cordy's face.

"You mean you're here to...?" Xander nodded. "Since when have you been a computer geek?!"

"You'd be suprised. So, you gonna let me in, or do I stand out here till the apocalypse?"

"What? Oh, well," Cordelia considered Xander for a moment. "I guess you can come in. But be nice to Dennis." She stood back from the door and let him in.

"Dennis?"

"My roomate."

Xander stopped short when he saw a can of soda floating in midair.

"He's a ghost." She elaborated at his stunned expression.

"Of course he is. We're from the hellmouth. We don't do anything normal."

"LA makes the Hellmouth look tame." Cordelia informed him.

"You have got to be kidding me!"

"Nope. Deadly serious.

"So you really are working for Deadboy?"

"Can you not call him that? Broodboy works better for me. And yes, I really work for Angel."

"Wow." Xander scowled at the computer. "Ok, it's dead. You're hard drive is fried. We'll have to get you a new one."

"That's bad, right?"

"It's certainly not good. C'mon, Anya's expecting me back by 10."

********

"You really seemed to know what you were talking about back there, Xapper." They were in Xander's car, heading back to Cordelia's apartment, after Xander had gotten her a new hard drive.

"I did. I did actually understand High school, you know."

"Really? Then why...?" Not that she was overly suprised that he had understood, she had known that he was smarter than he let on for a while. She had assumed that he had scraped through because he couldn't be bothered to do the work. But if that was true, then why......?

"Why the dumb clown act? People see what they want to see."

"Great, now you're answering questions like Angel. Heres a tip. People like their answers to make some sense."

Xander studied her carefully for a moment before sighing. "Tell you what, you feed me, you tell me about life in LA, and I'll fix your computer, and tell you all about it. Deal?"

Cordelia scrunched up her nose. She knew how much Xander could eat. On the other hand, if she didn't find out about this, it would bug the hell out of her. "I take it you want Pizza?"

"You know me so well." Xander grinned.

*********

"You're trying to tell me you're a genius?!" Cordelia asked incredulously, having finally stopped choking. "You're having me on!"

"Fine, test me." Xander challenged.

"Ok. Um, what's the square root of 55969?"

"236." he told her resolutely, and without hesitation. She went blank for a moment, grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, and worked it out.

"Damn."

"Want to try something else?"

This ment war. She thought for a moment. Then grinned. "What were the three chemicals used as fuel in the Apollo space program?"

"Cordelia, ask me something you know."

"I know this!"

"You do?" He shrugged "Ok. It was hydrazine, dimethylhydrazine and nitrogen tetroxide. Otherwise known as..."

"Hypergolics." Cordelia finished with a groan.

"Ok, so how come you knew that?"

"I read Apollo 13."

"So do you believe me?"

"I guess so." Cordelia reluctantly agreed. "It does explain a few things. But you being chased? I'm not too sure about that."

"I'm not being chased exactly. Just keeping a low profile. The Center thinks I'm dead, and I want to keep it that way. And I don't want to call any attention to myself. At all."

"So if you're a genius, then how come you really can be so dense."

"I'm also a teenage male." He informed her of this as if it fully explained everything. Which it did. "Mathematics and computers are easy to understand. People, especially women aren't. It's like talking Greek to a Russian elephant."

"You being the elephant?"

"Oh, I'm wounded! I hate to admit this Cordy, but I have kinda missed this. Trading insults with someone who can do it properly. Anya and Wills just aren't any good at it."

"Well, I hate to admit this, especially to you, but there have been times, I've missed you, and the whole gang. They pass really fast though."

*******

"God, that does make the Hellmouth sound quiet." Xander commented, as Cordelia finished filling him in on life in LA. "You were actually pregnant with demon babies?"

"Yes. And do me a favour. Don't mention it. To anyone. Ever again."

"Can I at least tell Anya and Wills?"

"What, you're not talking to Buffy anymore?"

"We talk. We slay. But I'm closer to the others. Anya, Tara and Wills are the only ones who know about the whole Center thing. I didn't see any point in telling the others. Doubt they'd believe it anyway. So can I? This is too good to keep to myself."

"I'll think about it."

Xander studied Cordelia for a moment. "Cordy, are you happy?"

"What?"

"Are you happy?"

"Yeah, I guess I am. I feel I belong here. More than I ever did in Sunnydale. And here I'm useful. So yeah, I'd say I'm happy. Why?"

Xander shrugged. "You deserve to be. I am sorry."

Cordelia didn't pretend not to know what he was refering to. "It's all right Xapper. It's in the past." What the hell, she was in a good mood. Her computer was fixed, and Xander hadn't been as obnoxious as he usually was.

"Friends?"

"Friends."

A strange gleam entered his eye. "So who is that Stranger guy?"

"What?!"

"The Stranger guy in your email. He's not a stalker is he?"

"No he's not a stalker! He's a friend. We're email buddies. Completely annonymous." Cordelia added as Xander opened his mouth again. He grinned.

"They're the best, aren't they? I've got a email buddy in Delaware. It's a real blast. We talk about everything and anything."

"You've got a.... Delaware?! Xander, isn't that like playing with fire?"

"Yeah, but it's fun. Relax. I know who it is." He grined sheepishly. "Curiosity got the better of me one day, so I hacked through a few firewalls."

"You do know that saying about playing with fire, right?"

"Yes, mom. If you want I could find out who this Stranger guy is for you."

"No!"

"Oh, come on. I bet you're dying to know."

"If I was, I wouldn't tell you!"

Xander grinned then sobered. "Just be careful."

"Take your own advice."

"Yes Mom." Cordelia threw a cushion at him.

"Well, I hate to break this up in the middle of a pillow fight I would have won," Cordelia snorted. "but I have to be getting back. Anya will be wondering where I am."

"I'll see you out." Cordelia checked to make sure she had her keys, before they headed outside.

"Thanks for the help with the comp. Xand."

"You're welcome. It was good to clear the air between us. Now we can go back to insulting each other."

"It always was more fun when you insulted back."

"You always were the best at that."

"Of course."

Xander grinned, and kissed her on the cheek. "Next time I invade, I'll bring Anya with me."

"Is that a promise, or a threat?"

Xander just laughed, climbed into the car, and drove away.

*********

Angel was in a foul mood as he stormed into the Hyperion Hotel. He had gone past the Pearson Arms, intending to check on Cordelia. She had been in a strange mood earlier today and had even left early, and he had wondered what was wrong. Now he knew. Xander Harris had been in LA. They had looked pretty chummy when Angel had seen them. Xander had kissed his Cordelia! After everything that he had done to her. And she had let him. What Angel really felt like doing right now, was letting Angelus out to play, and breaking every single bone in Alexander Harris' body. But if he did that Cordelia would probably stake his ass. Or make his coffee with holy water. Or remove all the curtains and blinds in the place, or, even more likely, all three. And he didn't doubt that she could get even more creative. So harming Xander was out of the question. Unfortunately.

Ok. So maybe he was over reacting. It wasn't like he had a right to feel so possesive of Cordelia, or so jealous of Xander kissing her. She wasn't his girlfriend. A fact that didn't sit very comfortably. He knew he was acting irrationally. What he needed was fresh perspective, someone who'd look at the situation objectively. So he did what he usually did when he felt confused and needed to talk. He mailed Lia.

A couple of hours later he was staring at her reply.

'Stranger,

First off. CALM DOWN. You were right when you said you don't really have the right to feel this way. If you want the right, try telling her how you feel! But that's not much comfort right now, is it? I know. I've been in your shoes. And the worse part is, you can't do anything about it.

But perhaps you've got the wrong end of the stick? Is it possible you've misinterpreted what you saw? Have you talked to her? (Calm and rational being keywords here) You may find that the explanation is completely different to what you've been thinking. Been there too.

And this is an amazing coincidence. I saw my old ex today. I guess he's going to be the-person-formerly-known-as-bastard now. I got one hell of a shock when I saw him on my doorstep. It turns out that he was ..well, you could say he was sub-contracted into helping fix my computer. Until then, I'd had no idea he knew what the difference was between the mouse and the keyboard.

Anyway, we got talking (civily if you could imagine that!) and I was stunned. Here was the guy that I'd first been drawn to. We've both come to the realisation that trying to be more than friends had been a really, really bad idea. And when we're not treating our relationship as a girl/boy look-to-get-groiny-sometime-in-the-future, we're actually pretty good friends. I'd forgotten what a decent guy he could be, when he lets down his guard. (I'd also forgotten about some of the truly lame jokes he comes up with, but that's another story)

Today, in the few hours we were talking, I learned more about him than I had since I've known him. Now what does that say about me, and my culpability in the relationship?

I was remided of something I read, and I can't remember where at the moment, "I am not who I once was". If that could be true for me, musn't it be true for others?

Lia'

Lia had made sense with the advice she had given him. Not a suprise, Lia always made sense. At least to him. But she had met with 'The Bastard' without WWIII starting, and actually managed to make peace with her past. That was a huge suprise. From the way she had talked, Angel had assumed that she would just as soon take an axe to him, than talk to him. He was happy for her, but he also felt somewhat uncomfortable. He had only Lia's say so, that her ex wasn't trying to get back together with her, and the prospect that that may be what he was trying was... disturbing.

Angel would feel more comfortable if he could meet Lia and this ex and know that she was going to be ok. Maybe it was time to suggest meeting? Or maybe it was the worst time. Maybe he was transferring his suspicions about Xander to Lia's situation. For the first time he cursed the no detail policy. Before it had been an inconvenience. Now.... now he wished he could spell out his circumstances to Lia, and get her advice, preferably while remaining out of a mental hospital.

"I am not who I once was." Angel wondered if she had any idea just how appropriate to his situation that was. He wasn't Angelus anymore, and no matter how tempting, he couldn't beat Xander to a bloody pulp. But at the same time, was taking Lia's advice about telling Cordelia about how he felt, really an option?

She had aknowledged that she feared Angelus returning. Probably more so now, than ever before. Angel she trusted, but Angelus, with Angel's memories, could cause some real damage to his vunerable Seer. Would that fear prevent her from even considering a romantic relationship with him? And if it did, what would that mean to their current relationship?

Agghh. He was back at square one. Only not so angry, and more confused. What the hell was he going to do?

***********

Cordelia approached Angel's office cautiously. He had been in a really strange mood for the past couple of weeks, and she wasn't sure what was causing it. She wished she did. Then at least she'd have some idea of how he was going to take her request.

"Angel?"

He looked up from the book he'd been pretending to read. He had watched her stand uncertainly in the doorway for a few minutes. "Yes, Cordelia?"

"Um...I have a favour to ask."

"Shoot."

Well, he seemed to be in a pretty good mood. "I need to get some time off tomorrow. Willow, Tara, Anya and Xander are coming up to do some Christmas shopping, and they asked me to go with them."

Angel frowned at the mention of Xander. He wasn't going to try something was he? Angel figured he could take comfort in the fact that Willow would be there as well. He vaguely remembered Anya from his thanksgiving trip to Sunnydale, but he didn't have a clue who Tara was.

Cordelia assumed that the frown was because he couldn't place who Anya and Tara were, so she elaborated. "Anya is the ex-vengence demon who created the universe with the vamp-Willow, and Tara is Willow's girlfriend."

Angel looked at Cordelia, trying to figure out which way she had ment that. Cordelia correctly interpreted the look. "As in romantic type girlfriend."

"Oh." Angel couldn't say he was particularly suprised. He had met the vamp-Willow, and had some idea of the aspects of her personality that she had kept hidden.

"So, can I?"

"Huh?"

"Can I have time off?"

What could he say? He didn't particularly want Xander any where near Cordelia, but if he acted on that impulse, he'd be considered the worst in the world. "Sure, take the day."

"You are in a good mood." Cordelia seemed suprised, had he really been in such a rotten mood the last couple of weeks? Yes, judging from Cordelia's expression. "But that won't be necessary. They won't be getting here till midday, and that's where the other part of my favour comes in."

Huh? He didn't recall her saying anything about another favour.

"Be civil to Xander."

"What?!"

"Be. Civil. To. Xander." Cordelia clearly enounciated each word. "I know that you don't like each other, he calls you Deadboy, and you spend the rest of the time glowering at each other, but he's promised to be nice, so you've got to as well. That means no glaring at each other, no snide remarks, he's promised. I couldn't get him to promise not to call you Deadboy though, so don't get your shorts in a twist when he does it."

She had made Xander promise to be nice? Why? "Cordelia..."

"Please? It's almost Christmas, I'd appreciate it if you do this. It means I won't have to clean the blood out of the carpets."

When she asked like that, how could he refuse? "Fine. I'll be nice to Xander." He was rewarded with one of Cordelia's million watt smiles.

"Thank you!" Impulsively she leaned over the desk, and kissed him on the cheek. "Willow will be so happy! Now she doesn't have to bring Fred!"

Angel's brain had short circuted the moment Cordelia kissed him. He managed to gather himself together enough to ask "Who's Fred?"

"Fred is a what. He's a very large piece of steel tubing. She and Tara keep him at their front door to use on prowlers."

Angel was a little shocked. Willow had threatened to bring Fred? Were he and Xander really that bad? He considered it for a moment before admitting that they were. He couldn't really say why Xander didn't like him, but he didn't like Xander because the boy rubbed him the wrong way. Reluctantly he admitted that he may also be a little jealous. The annoying teenager took for granted the things he could do, like go out in the sun, and breathe. And when he thought of Xander and Cordelia..... Angel almost told her he'd changed his mind right then.

********

Cordelia nervously glanced at the clock. It had only been two minutes since she had last checked the time. When were they going to get here? Cordelia had been getting progressively more nervous for the last hour. Despite getting a promise from both Xander and Angel that they would be nice, she was still worried.

Angel had been in a very strange mood today. Stranger than what had become normal over the last few weeks. She wondered if it had anything to do with the vampires last night. A vision had hit, just as she was about to head home. A group of vampires menacing (read tearing to shreds) a young woman. Not particularly unique. They had dealt with the vamps, and Angel had taken the girl home. He had been fine then. What had happened? About an hour ago, he had come downstairs. He seemed a little jumpy, alot distracted and well.... it was strange. He hadn't said anything at all, although he appeared to have started to a couple of times, and then dissapeared into his office. What was wrong? Should she go in there and pester him until he talked, or should she just leave him alone to sort it out?

She had just decided to go and pester him when a familiar car pulled up at the curb.

*********

Xander glanced at the Hyperion with mixed feelings. He wasn't sure he wanted to go in now. He had done something, well... Anya had termed it overbearing, possibly overprotective.

He had found out who Lia's Stranger was.

Ok, so it was probably not the best thing he could have done. Anya had been pretty accurate in her description, but damn it, he was worried about Lia. After so long as enemies, it had felt suprisingly good to become friends again. They had set records for email over the last couple of weeks. She had stopped calling him zeppo, and he had started calling her Lia. Somehow, Cordy just didn't seem to fit her anymore.

She had mentioned Stranger a couple of times, and he had gotten the 'who is this guy, he better not hurt my friend/sister' feeling. So he had hacked his way into finding out who Stranger was.

How would Cordelia react if she knew that her email friend was also her boss? She would be mad as hell at him for finding out after she had told him not to, which is why he wasn't going to tell her. And he would feel perfectly happy if that was the end of it. Angel may have faults, being a vampire chief amonst them, but he did know that Angel wouldn't knowingly hurt Lia.

But Xander knew that Lia had feelings for Angel. She hadn't said anything, but it came through loud and clear. And since he wanted Lia to be happy, Xander was going to do something that went against everything he'd spent three years doing.

He was going to be nice to Angel. And if possible, see if their was any attraction on Angel's side. Mind you he'd have to be dead, not to be attracted to Lia. Oh wait. Angel was.

**********

Angel had been sitting in his office, contemplating how to tell Cordelia his news for almost an hour, when he heard voices in the lobby.

"Good lord Xander! Didn't anyone ever tell you that Hawaiian shirts and striped pants don't match?!" That was Cordelia. The Sunnydale crew was here. Oh god, did he really have to be nice to Xander?

"I know, but it's so much fun to see the reaction it gets. Buffy turned almost blue trying not to say anything." Xander grinned as he hugged Cordelia. "Besides, what would you prefer? Leather?" He snorted. "Or commando gear?"

Xander seemed to be in a good mood. Angel stood in the doorway of his office and eavesdroped.

"We've already seen you in Commando gear." Willow informed him. "You don't particularly want to mistaken for an Initiative guy, do you?"

"Good point." Xander conceeded. "One is more than enough." he muttered. "Wow, this place is huge!" Xander wandered off.

"Cordelia, this is Tara, and Anya you've met." Willow introduced.

"Hi." Cordelia shook Tara's hand, and waved at Anya.

"Huh?" Anya had zoned out a minute or so ago.

"You ok?"

"Sorry. Just stuck at the picture of Xander in leather."

Cordelia glanced at Xander. "No. Uh, uh. I don't think so. Talk about scary mental picture."

"Really? It's got to be an improvement."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"He looked really hot in his commando gear....." Anya paused. "This is a hotel, right?"

"No!" Willow and Tara exclaimed in unison, startling everyone. "Um, what we mean is that they're still organising that." Willow explained, hoping that Anya would buy it. "Besides, if we want to get all of this shopping done, we really should be going."

Anya seemed to buy that. "Oh, ok."

"I'll just grab my purse." Cordelia told them, and headed for her desk.... Where Xander was now sitting, typing. "Xander Harris, what the hell are you doing?!"

"Fixing your email." He told her distractedly.

"Huh?"

"Fixing your email. Wills told me about the problem you had, and I've just about.... there. All done. It'll work like it should now."

Angel was stunned. Since when had Xander known anything about computers? Cordelia didn't seem suprised. And the dynamic at work in this group was not what he'd expected. He'd expected Xander to be all over Cordelia, but other than a friendly hug..... In fact he'd bet money that Xander and Anya were an item. What was going on here?

An irritated frown had appeared on Cordelia's face. "You could've tried telling me what you were doing."

"I just did!" Xander protested good naturedly.

"Fine. You ready?"

"Yep."

"Good. Angel!"

"You called?" Angel asked dryly.

"Aghh! For god's sake don't do that!" She glared at him. This was an old argument. "Ok. Mrs Mancini will be here at three, Wesley is at the library, he should be back soon, and David called to let us know that he'd be here around six. The bottled water guy should be here sometime this afternoon, his cheque is in the top drawer, and... I think that's all." Angel looked slightly amused as she finished rattling of the calender for the day. She had gone over this three times last night. "And oh, yeah. If you go out, take the cell phone, and TURN IT ON!"

"You know how much.."

"..I hate those things." she finished. "Yeah I know. Take it anyway. We'll be back when we're done, or the shops close, which ever comes first, and ...Xander what the hell are you doing now?!"

Xander looked up slightly guiltily. He was still at the computer. "Lia, how the hell do you have any idea of what you're doing? This makes no sense what so ever!"

"What are you...? I understand it! That's all that matters, now get away from there! Move your ass Xapper!"

Willow began giggling. Talk about De'ja'vu! Xander began moving.

"I'll see you later Angel." she waved at him. "Is he always this annoying?"

"Yes." That came from Anya. Xander looked suprised. She was the last person he had expected that from. "Bucko and Champs Christmas Album" She ground out. Xander started laughing. Willow and Tara groaned.

"Explain please?" Cordelia demanded.

"A friend from Australia sent him an album of Christmas songs. The Australian versions."

"We heard it so many times on the way up....."

Xander began singing the tune to 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town'.

You better take care, cross at the lights,
If Santa sees you coming, you can say goodnight,
'Cause Santa Claus has got a new truck!

Cordelia gave Xander an are-you-nuts? look, as Willow, Tara and Anya groaned.

He's hotted it up, Painted it Red,
Now he's cruising, round town, like a petrol head,
'Cause Santa Claus has got a new truck!

Cordelia sighed. "Just what we needed. More proof that he's completely insane."

*********

Angel had frozen when Xander had called Cordelia Lia. Normally he probably wouldn't think much of it. It was, after all, just a shortened version of her name. But he'd never heard Cordelia called that before. And Cordelia hadn't even blinked, which ment that it was a familiar form of address for her. Since when? Since LA? Or before?

Was it possible that Cordelia was his Lia? He tried to remember all the details of the mails. He'd never be able to remember them all. He sat down at the computer and pulled up Lia's emails. With the new idea in his head he re read all of them.

A couple of hours later he sat back stunned. This wasn't exactly proof... but so much of it matched up with what he knew of Cordelia. Things that had happened, the way she reacted to different things... BB! BroodBoy! BG still had him stumped. He now knew that was Wesley, but what the hell did the letters mean? LIM, that would have been Doyle. What did that stand fo..oh, Little Irish Man.

Angel grinned. All of a sudden, he wasn't so confused.

*********

Cordelia let out a moan, as she removed her shoes. Oh that felt good! It had been awhile since she had done that much serious shopping. Poor Xander. He'd gotten to be their porter for the day. Cordelia sincerly doubted that he'd ever go shopping with them again. Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Cordelia now knew all the words to that Santa Claus has Got a New Truck song. She also knew the words to the Australian version of Jingle Bells. Xander had been singing them over, and over, and over....

She was annoyed to find herself singing the truck song as she booted up the computer.

Yes! He had written.

'Lia,

PO Box 345
Los Angeles Ca.

Stranger'

Huh? Was that his snail mail address? And why did that look so famil... That was their address! That was Angel's address! How did he....?

Cordelia was speechless. Angel? Angel was Stranger? She sat there stunned for a full minute before suddenly bursting into tears.

*******

Angel was nervously checking his his email every two minutes, when the phone rang. It stopped before he managed to answer it however. So he checked his email again. Surely Cordelia was home by now. Maybe she hadn't checked her mail yet.

The phone rang again. Once again stopping before he answered it. He stared at it puzzled for a moment. Dennis! That was their signal. He didn't even bother to shut down the computer, just grabed his coat and headed for the door.

*******

Cordelia stared at herself in the mirror disgusted.

You find out that your closest friend is your closest friend who is actually they guy you're nuts about, and he's nuts over you, and you burst into tears?! What is wrong with you? You should be estatic!

I am! But how the hell do I approach him now? I'm no good at this touchy feely stuff. I feel it, but I'm no good communicating it!

How about just grabbing him and kissing him senseless?

That might wor...what are you nuts? I love Angel. Angelus I wouldn't trust as far as I could throw him.

You could always find out how to remove the clause. There's got to be a way.

Yeah, and what do I do in the mean time? I have enough trouble keeping my hands off him now! I'm suprised he hasn't had to revive me after I've patched him up!

Well, ummm...good point.

Cordelia was startled out of her musings by a loud banging on her door.

"Cordelia?!"

Good god, it was Angel! Dread shot through her. What was wrong? What had happened? She practically flew to the front door, and flung it open. "What's wrong? Are you ok?!"

Angel was a little taken aback. This was not what he had expected. On the way over, visions of Cordelia hurt and unconcious had been floating through his head. He was therefore extremely relieved to see her fully conscious and apparently fine... except for, were those tear marks on her cheeks?

"I'm fine. I was worried about... Dennis called... Cordelia, have you been crying?"

"No. Yes. A little, it's stupid."

"How do you mean stupid?"

Cordelia took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye. "I got some good news, and instead of turning cartwheels across my living room floor, for some stupid reason, I burst into tears."

Angel hadn't expected that. "You were crying because you were happy?"

"Yes."

Oh thank God! This might be enough to make him actually start believing again. He leaned forward and captured her lips with his. Cordelia was stunned for all of the 20 micro seconds it took her to process what had happened, then her mind shut down, and she kissed him back. Eventually though, she had to come up for air.

"Wow."

Angel managed to gather his thoughts long enough to form a coherent sentance. "I've got some news for you."

"Really? That's nice." Cordelia kissed him. "What was your news?" she asked when they came up for air again.

"Last night....girl worked for PTB's.....they very happy..... clause removed." He managed between kisses.

That sobered Cordelia up. Fast. "Really?!"

"Really."

The million watt smile spread across Cordelia's face. "Of course we won't know, until we test it." she pointed out.

"That's true." he grinned. "I like the way you think."

"You should, you're the only one who seems to understand it."

"You're not dissapointed."

"Do I look dissapointed?"

"Well, no, you look really, really good..."

"Angel, has anyone ever told you, you talk too much?"

"Only you. I love you Lia."

Cordelia's face lit up. "I know, I love you too."

Angel grinned. "I know."

"Angel?"

"Hmm?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

**********

The End!

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