DIRECTED BY Andrew V. McLaglen
YEAR 1980

ALSO STARRING
Roger Moore, James Mason

BEST QUOTE
(To Roger Moore) "You better get that pussycat grin off your face or this guy's liable to carve it off". Cheesy but I liked it!

BEST MOMENT
Sussing the crew out about the poisoned coffee... and then making one drink it!

WORST MOMENT
Roger Moore in a skin-tight wetsuit. And that awful, awful red and white striped "Where's Wally?" hat! (or "Waldo", for my American visitors). How dare he harpoon Tony.

MY REVIEW
Oh dear... Yes, unfortunately I have seen this film. I really hate to say this, but it truly is one of the worst films I've ever seen. And yet, I can't bring myself to record over the video! The only reason I can tolerate this film is simply the fact that Mr Perkins is in it. The only reason why anyone should actually SEE this film is if you are a die-hard fan of either Perkins or Roger Moore. And I mean DIE HARD.

I've never liked Roger Moore - it's nothing personal, I just don't like him. But seeing him in a figure hugging wet suit is, to say the least, truly nauseating.

The film is basically a cheap rip-off of the whole James Bond series (just as The Black Hole is a cheap rip-off of Star Wars), with Moore being the spy who is sent in to stop the bad guy. Care to take a guess at who the bad guy is? Got it in one! Basically what Tony's character does is demand money or else he'll blow up the oil rigs. He demands and threatens, demands and threatens, and then threatens some more. But does he actually DO anything? No! For goodness sake, the rig gets blown up by accident! Then stupid Roger Moore shows up and harpoons him, and gets rewarded with kittens. Yes, KITTENS. I'm being serious. Sounds so ridiculous I know, but you'll see.

And to top it all off, they've got the ugliest cast in history. That's leaving out Tony of course, who is stunning as always (apart from the retina-burning blue Nike perhaps)! But in a word, this film is *dreadful*.
Oh well, all the great ones have their bad days...

SEE THIS IF YOU LIKE:
Roger Moore's James Bond movies.