True Happiness

You will fall irretrievably, irreconcilably in love once in your life and soon. You will not be loved back. You will get over it. You will learn the secret to life but have no one to share it with. You will get over it. One day you will wake up and realize none of it matters anyway and die happy, despite the axe in your back.

Don't like this fortune? Get a new one. Boys are smarter than girls anyways. Duh.