Tell Me Why, Mom

By Beverly Greene

NOTE: This poem is protected by international copyright laws and may NOT be reproduced in any form without the author's expressed and written consent.

I needed you to protect me, mom.
Why did you leave me behind?
Why didn't you care about what
your husband was doing to me?
You knew what he put you through,
so why leave me behind in your place?
You took your other child, my sister,
so why not take me too when you ran?
Why leave me behind to feel his wrath?
Why sacrifice me to him
so that you could get away?
Why couldn't you love me?

Then, years later, you did leave,
and I was not left behind.
But I was taken back to him.
Why didn't you fight harder for me?
Why didn't you come and get me?
Why didn't you make them give me back?
Why didn't you tell them what he is really like?
Why wouldn't you love me?

When he finally gave us back,
having no more use for us
after his no longer impressed
wife left his sorry ass,
realizing that he was not
what he made himself out to be,
the devoted father and husband,
why didn't you try to take away some of the pain?
Why didn't you help heal me?
Why didn't you just hold me and make it ok?
Why didn't you love me?

And when your new husband made passes at me,
why didn't you believe me?
I was your little girl,
only 13 years old, mom.
And you let him breath his hot breath
on my young, innocent body,
turning my stomach and ripping my heart
apart with fear and exhaustion
of living such a horrible life.
Why didn't you care?
Why didn't you stop it?
Why yell at me and not him?
What did I do that was so wrong?
Why don't you love me?

And when your other child hurt me,
left me crying and bleeding,
why didn't you make her stop?
Why didn't you do something more
than just talking to her
and telling her not to do that again?
Why didn't you protect me?
You knew what I had been through.
You knew you had to get out
of an abusive household,
yet you left me there,
and then let is come into your home,
as long as it wasn't you being abused.
Why didn't you save me?
Why won't you love me?

And now, I'm all grown up.
I'm a world away from you,
but I'm still your little girl.
I still need you, mom, to protect me.
Why do you tell me to forget
and forgive the past
when it still torments me,
my nights,
my days,
my life?
Why won't you see what I'm going through
and just hold me in your love?
Why can't you be a real mother to me,
like you always promised to be?

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� 1999 Beverly Greene owns all rights to this original poem.

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