Mommy, I Need You

By Beverly Greene

NOTE: This poem is protected by international copyright laws and may NOT be reproduced in any form without the author's expressed and written consent.

Why now?
Where were you
when I was cold,
and lonely,
praying that MY mommy
would come save me
from the pain?
I was your little girl,
and you left me
sitting in a corner,
crying out to God
with salty tears
burning their way
down my freshly bruised face,
hugging my legs,
trying to pretend
that it was enough.
But it wasn't!
I wanted my mommy.
I needed you.

Mommies are for protecting
their children,
but I had to wait
just for a hug.
I dreamed at night,
restless in my bed
of you kissing
my latest boo-boo
but no bandaid appeared
when I jumped awake,
soaked with the tiny tears
of a scared child.

"Mommy!"
I screamed!
Weren't you just here?
I can still smell
your perfume,
but the safety I felt
lying in your arms
was gone.
Why didn't you care?

And now,
I'm all grown up,
a woman getting married,
and now you're here
where you were only
a phantom memory before.
Why now, mom?
Why want me,
love me,
be proud of me NOW?
What makes you think
that a few nice words
to my lover
will ease my pain?

What gives you
the right to be proud
NOW?
I was your little girl
and I needed you
to be proud of me then.
A few cheap words,
and a nice gesture or two
won't make up
for all the years
and tears
of missing and needing you.
How dare you
be proud of me now,
thinking that you
had a damn thing
to do with it.
How dare you presume
to take any credit
for the wonderful adult
I made out of that child
you left behind?

I needed my mommy,
but you had your own life,
and now I have mine.
But, some part of me
still needs you, Mom.

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� 1999 Beverly Greene owns all rights to this original poem.

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