Love and Understanding
By Beverly Greene
By Beverly Greene
NOTE: This story is protected by international copyright laws and may NOT be reproduced in any form without the author's expressed written permission.
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is NOT the best story I've ever written. It needs a lot of work I just haven't given it as of yet. However, I still think it makes some great points, despite it's very short length.)
Susan sat on the edge of their bed and cried into her damp hands. She looked up when Michelle walked into the room. Michelle gently sat down beside her. She looked at her lover, her best friend, and whispered sadly, "I'm sorry I walked away from you. I just needed a few minutes to think." Susan nodded her understanding, while the tears streamed down her cheeks.
"Looks, Susan, I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm not choosing them over you, it's just, they are only going to be here for one week and I want to spend some time with them. They are still my parents and I have to try to make them understand. I didn't mean to say that you don't understand what I'm going through, I just meant that your parents are pretty understanding. I'm sorry mine aren't more like yours. I want them to see you as my wife, as a person in general, not just an abstract idea called 'lesbian'."
Susan again nodded and struggled to find the words that would explain how she was feeling. "I know, baby, and I am trying to understand. I know that you still love them and need them, and, like you said, they are still your parents." She paused for a deep breath to help control her already shaky voice. "I just don't know why I have to leave my home just because they refuse to even see what I look like. Why can't you just meet them at your sister's house and then go somewhere else so that you can all talk alone?"
Michelle sighed sadly at the situation. "Look honey, if we meet at Lisa's then her and that idiot husband of hers will want to get involved and this is between me and mom and dad, not them. You know me, I'll be crying the whole time I'm with them and I really don't want to have to do this in public. Honey, I know this is hard on you, but please try to understand that it has nothing to do with you. They hate what I am, and they don't even know you. It would be the same if it was someone else in your place, so please, don't take it personally." Susan looked into Michelle's eyes defiantly, almost daring her to say that again. "It's not someone else, it's ME!! Why can't anyone see that?" she screamed. She looked away while she regained her composure.
After a few minutes of silence passed along with her anger, she turned and looked at Michelle tenderly with her red, damp eyes. "It's not that I don't want you to see them, I just don't think they are ever going to accept the fact that their daughter is happy being married to a woman. Everything they've ever been told has said differently. They have been taught to think that we are mentally ill and need professional help, so how can we possibly be happy? I mean, hell, they're Catholic for Christ's sake! They think if they pray for you enough, you'll be straight again!"
"I know, I was brought up Catholic too. I know what they've been taught. I felt that same hate that they feel for me, only for myself. I'm tired of them always thinking of themselves and feeling sorry for themselves. If they want to know what hard really is, they should have to try to go through what I went through because of THEM!" Michelle dabbed her moistening eyes with the tissue she had been squeezing in her hand.
"Oh, so you think you're the only one who had trouble coming out to herself? Well, you're not! It's hard on all of us who go through it! All of our society teaches us that loving someone of the same sex is wrong, not just our parents. And just because my parents tolerate 'my choice of lifestyle' doesn't exactly mean they threw me a fucking party when I came out to them." Susan took a deep, slow breath before continuing. "I do agree with you though, about your parents, and I hope that this time you actually tell them that instead of just bitching to me about it and then being too afraid of them to stand up for yourself, no matter how right YOU are and how wrong THEY are. You have to grow up! You'll always be their daughter, no matter how much they hate that right now, but you are not their little girl any more, so stop acting like it!"
"I know!! I know you're right! It's just not that easy for me!" she cried. Suddenly, Michelle's slumped shoulders perked up with determination, "But, I will! I will tell them this time how I feel!" She sighed and let her shoulders slump sadly again. "But I need your support, I can't do this alone. I need your love to help make me strong." She looked sadly at Susan with both hope and desperation in her red, swollen eyes.
Susan sat there, on their bed, beside her soul mate, and saw the pain in Michelle's eyes, and she understood. She understood that Michelle needed her now and this was no time t start waving a rainbow flag and shouting at the world "Accept me as I am or leave me the hell alone!" She understood that love had to over-rule pride and her dislike for ignorance, no matter how unfair it was.
"Ok, honey! I know that you need to at least try. So, I'll leave so you can talk to them in your space. You can page me when they leave and I'll run home and hold you." Susan leaned over and put her arms lovingly around the sobbing woman beside her and pulled her into the safety of her arms, and never felt more in love than she did at that very moment.
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� 1999 Beverly Greene owns all rights to this original short story.
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