Declaration of a Lesbian
By Beverly Greene
By Beverly Greene
NOTE: This poem is protected by international copyright laws and may NOT be reproduced in any form without the author's expressed written permission.
Nothing in life is ever easy,
nothing changed about that
when I realized.
Maybe I thought it would.
I believed that once I knew
who I was exactly,
happiness would be easier to find,
at least within myself.
I had a lot of learning to do yet.
I have a lot of learning to do yet.
I'm so new at this,
and it's not a new look,
you can't put it on
when you are in the mood
for that particular image.
I can't shed this.
Nor do I want to.
I only want to understand,
experience,
for all that it is to me.
Being a lesbian
still scares me
I am ashamed to say,
but then so does living,
and to me,
this is living,
living as who I am,
now that I know part of what that means.
It's all so new,
living,
lesbian,
love,
lust.
No one ever prepared me
for the fears my own heart
could create about me,
the fear of who I am,
who I'm not,
who I want to be,
who I could be,
who I can't.
LESBIAN
I am just now in the stage
where I can say that
and actually be
referring to MYSELF.
It means so many things.
I always said gay,
trying to believe
that it was a unity thing,
the gay world,
instead of just another issue
of self acceptance.
Lesbian.
Me.
I am what most dykes
call a young lesbian,
a newly found out,
coming out,
finding out,
lesbian,
just beyond the gay stage.
But, I take comfort,
they were here too.
I am not alone.
I am not the only one,
though it may feel it at times.
These times
are just more normal
feelings,
emotions,
confusions,
worries
of the journey.
Though this journey
takes different venues
for all of us,
this is mine
and it will lead me
to the place where all before me
have already found.
The journey:
Me?
Questions.
Fear.
Shame.
Women.
Sex.
Gay.
Me.
Lesbian.
Me.
Dyke.
Me.
Body.
Me.
Sexuality.
Me.
Self-acceptance.
HOME.
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� 1999 Beverly Greene owns all rights to this original poem.
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