Going Home
By Beverly Greene
By Beverly Greene
NOTE: This story is protected by international copyright laws and may NOT be reproduced in any form without the author's expressed written permission.
I walked out of the hot sun and into the cool airport. At the American Airlines counter I presented my tickets to a lady dressed in blue. "Will you be checking any luggage today, ma'am?" she asked and I handed over two parts of my packaged life.
"Are you really sure you wanna go through with this? I want you to be happy but moving to another country is a huge step. Are you really sure that Jamie's the woman you want to spend your life with?" Sherry asked, the hope I would change my mind obvious in her voice. I took a deep breath and sighed, "Yeah."
I walked through the security station where the rest of my luggage, carry on baggage filled with memories, was scanned. No guns or bombs, just as much of a life as I could stuff into canvas constraints.
At the terminal, Sherry looked at me, tears swelling in her eyes. I pointed to a pair of unoccupied peach colored plastic chairs and we sat down. I watched as she wrung her hands and thought of all the afternoons we had spent just driving around, listening to the local R&B station, Hayley asleep in her car seat. Those were the days - the memories I couldn't figure out how to pack for safe keeping. I wanted to grab them up, make them tangible, make them - anything but the past.
I watched her short, blood red nails, helpless victims of constant nervous chewing as they dug into her mother-sized purse for a crumpled, unused tissue. She dabbed her eyes and then clutched the wet tissue like I knew she wanted to cling to me, beg me again not to go, not to leave my goddaughter.
"Now boarding" boomed overhead, ending any fantasy of just sitting there and putting it off forever. "It's not too late to change your mind, you know." Sherry pleaded. "We could leave right now - just walk right back out and hop in my car and go." I wiped my eyes and shook my head. "You and Davin take care of Hayley and tell her I love her."
We walked together to the boarding gate. One last tearful hug later, I stood at the mouth of the boarding gate watching as she walked away and braced myself for losing sight of my best friend, barely stopping myself from calling out "Wait!"
"You two can have a few more minutes if you need" the ever-so polite boarding lady said in a voice that made me think she saw this scene played out on a daily basis. "No, that's ok." I said, "I don't think I can take anymore." Perhaps fittingly, it was Sherry who turned around and, after a final pleading glance goodbye, watched me walk out of her life.
As I boarded the plane it seemed to swallow me whole, encasing me in a steel cocoon. Filled to only half-capacity, once the stewardess closed the door, sealing us in, stealing our options, the other passengers moved around to optimize their personal space and I was left alone in a three-seat row.
Exhausted and tearless, I listened to "You Will Never Be Alone" on my walkman, one of two copies bought earlier that day as a last minute souvenir, one last shared memory. I watched out the tiny window as everything I had ever known slipped past, grew smaller, noticing how neat cities really are - perfectly squared off sections of green and brown, tidy dividers of lives. Left with only the blue expanse, I lay across the seats and eventually slept until "Buckle up for landing" woke me.
Down we swooped, like a graceful bird in a controlled free-fall and then suddenly we were climbing, hard and fast. The cabin that had seemed so large, so full of personal space suddenly became tiny and suffocating. Everyone looked around with terror-filled eyes, no longer wanting to be alone. "What's going on?" asked a lady two rows up and over. Pushed back against my seat, I just shrugged in response, too terrified to give voice to my certainty that I was going to be punished for making the wrong choice, for choosing to leave it all behind and fly into a new world, a new country, a new life.
Eventually, we leveled off and a voice drilled through the thick air. "Ladies and gentleman, we apologize for the rapid ascent. It seems that there was some confusion on the ground. Another plane was using our runway for a takeoff but there's nothing to worry about. We've climbed above the lane of traffic and will be landing very shortly." A collective sigh of relief later, we were again heading down and this time, we had the runway to ourselves. No divine retribution. The leaving done. Now I would be going somewhere.
Off the plane, baggage in hand, I walked through the halfway airport searching for my next boarding gate. As I watched people roll past in airport golf carts, I fought off the fear that I would miss my plane and be forever stuck in between worlds, between lives, between homes.
Finding my gate with forty-five minutes to spare, I stopped in a nearby coffee shop deserving the name "Extortion Caf�" for the price they charged me for a small bottle of spring water. Sitting alone at a red waxy-top table, surrounded by baggage, I prepared myself for the last leg of my journey.
After boarding another half-empty plane and stuffing my baggage in the bin, I again slipped into an exhausted sleep filled with nothing but a blank slate of black until the stewardess tapped me on the shoulder and told me we were about to land.
I emerged from the plane, luggage in tow and walked straight into Jamie's waiting arms. "Welcome home, baby! How was your trip?" she asked with a smile. "Fine," I said, "Let's go home!"
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� 2001 Beverly Greene owns all rights to this original short story.
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