Joke Of The Week
 

                                             Week Ending 10-07-2006
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods.  Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.  Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother.

"Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane.  I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt.  Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane........"

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time.  I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story.  Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane.  I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt.  Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

Mommy fainted!

Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt.

 

                                          Week Ending 09-30-2006

Bubba, a furniture dealer from Arkansas, decided to expand the line of  furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Arkansas.

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.  He invited her to sit down.

He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her.

She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Bubba has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.

 

                                          Week Ending 09-23-2006
 

A man and his wife were spending the day at the  zoo.  She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress,  sleeveless with straps.  He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.

As they walked through the ape exhibit, they  passed in front of a large,

 silverback gorilla.  Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy.  He  jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and 2 feet he grunted and  pounded his chest with his free hand.  He was obviously excited at the pretty  lady in the pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thought  this was funny.  He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by  puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom.  She played along and the gorilla  got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the  husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more  skin.  She did, and the gorilla was about to tear the  bars down.  "Now show your thighs and sort of fan your dress  at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started  doing flips.

Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door  shut.

   "Now, tell him you have a  headache."

 

                                            Week Ending 09-16-2006
 

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His copilot is Chinese.  It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

 Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the autopilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese."

 "No rike Chinese?" asks the copilot, "why not?"

 "You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!"

 "No, no," the copilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese."

 There's a few minutes of silence. "No rike Jews!" the copilot suddenly announces. "Why not?" asks the captain. "Jews sink Titanic," the copilot responds.

 "Jews didn't sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain,"It was an iceberg!"

 "Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg,no mattah... all same!"

 

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