1. The person responsible for upping the price on 'Budweiser Family' 18-packs from $10.99 to $14.99. Bullshit. Total bullshit. By the way, I think I want to go to the Budweiser Family Renuion next summer.
2. The poor, minimum wage bastard who makes the degrading sandwiches that are one of the few options open to me for lunch. Sorry, yo, but SOMEONE needs to be held responsible. Porno Rico isn't a fucking pillar of justice.
3. The guy who dated my mom when I was 14. For some reason you popped into my head the other day and I remembered what a fucking DORK you were. Always bragging about your fucking jogging skills. Jogging ain't a sport, shithead, it's running! Little kids do it. Fucking dogs do it! There's even a good number of insects who can do it. Fuck!
4. The lady in the next cubicle who eats, as far as I can tell, bowl after bowl of piping hot cat food for lunch EVERY DAY. Lady, can I have you attention? That shit STINKS. You're on my shit list, motherfucker!
5. The pimp who honks his horn at all hours on my street. Nice car, player, but I gots to get my rest, yo. Have that respect, son!
6. That 8 year old girl who calls me "Mr. Ugly." Oh yeah? Well, one look at your braids and I KNOW your mom drinks too much. That's right. Plus I seen her buying a full case of 800 Ice 22s.
7. Post Stardom Depression. Jesus. I've seen this band once and I'm STILL not done dissin' on these fools. "Welcome to the whore I have become!" That's a sample lyric from their talent-free set at the EMP(ty).
8. My goddamned pants-changing-in-the-cubicle cellmate. What the FUCK are you thinking? I don't know whether to throw you out a window, sue you, or vomit in pity for your bad BAD judgement. Dude! Not cool.
Aiight, y'all, I'm 5G. Until next time...
*Porno Rico*