MacGyver Makes Top Five Tough Guys
1. Sgt. Bosco B.A. Baracus (Mr. T), "The A-Team." Do you wanna tell Mr. T that he's not No. 1?
2. Luke Duke (Tom Wopat), "The Dukes of Hazzard." Bo was the pretty boy. Luke packed the punches.
3. MacGyver (Richard Dean Anderson), "MacGyver." Mind over matter. A man so tough he didn't need a gun to beat the bad guys.
4. Colt Seavers (Lee Majors), "The Fall Guy." He was a stuntman. He jumped out of planes.
5. Rick Simon (Gerald McRaney), "Simon & Simon." Trucks, beer and cowboy hats -- all the makings of a true tough guy.
MacGyver Foils Airport Security
MacGyver made the bomb on camera for a Channel 7 Action News investigation entitled "Terror in the Skies", which showed how lax security still is at our airports.
After completing the bomb MacGyver stood up and said, "You are all safe, but I just made a bomb." Several First Class passengers armed with complimentary loofah sponges then beat him senseless. After regaining consciousness, MacGyver defused the bomb by eating a candy bar.
Action News reporter, Tom Dangernow, said, "Our skies are at risk until all passengers are forced to fly naked and handcuffed without seats or paper products. If a former Special Forces agent with extensive training can make a bomb with everyday materials, just think what an average terrorist with no training could do. It's chilling."
Security officers at JFK said that they had "followed security procedures" and even had x-rayed MacGyver's shoes.
After the incident, the plane made an emergency landing in Omaha. Department of Homeland Security agents took MacGyver and the news crew into custody. Agents also arrested one swarthy passenger who congregated near the lavatories.
This is the second incident involving MacGyver who has been forced to do freelance work since being fired from the Phoenix Foundation. The first incident involved the derailing of an Amtrak commuter train using a Super Soaker and some mustard for the "Terror on the Tracks" investigation for Channel 4 News in Dallas.
One passenger reported having the lasagna for dinner.
Knives out for makers of Swiss Army gadgets
At the far side of the x-ray machine, sometime last week, the woman was holding up a pair of nail scissors.
"But they're gold!" she said, with some distress.
The security official at Gatwick airport near London was unmoved. Leave them here, she said, or mail them back at a cost of 5. They were definitely lethal weapons, and they had to go.
Multiply this small incident by several thousand a day - in 2002, British airports were confiscating items from every 17th passenger - and it's little wonder that, in the factories responsible for producing the world's smallest sharp objects, there is discontent and despondency.
In this frosty post-September 11 world, the most venerable sharp object of all, the unassailable, indispensable Swiss army knife, is experiencing hard times.
In the 14 months after the attacks, 1.8 million knives were confiscated at United States airports, and most were little red ones with white crosses on. The confiscations have mirrored a fall in sales.
"We've lost about 10 per cent of overall Swiss army knife sales," said Hans Schorno of Victorinox, one of two companies licensed to make the knives. Once essential for anyone with pockets and MacGyver instincts, the knives are now more often seen sitting forlornly in Plexiglass airport sharp-object containers along with spoons, plastic scissors and knitting needles.
Victorinox makes 120,000 knives a day - 25 million annually - and exports to 150 countries. The range includes knives that have torches and butane lighters, and heavy-duty lock-blade and screwdriver models for police and fire brigades.
GIs used the knives in World War II, space shuttles carry them and US Presidents give them as gifts. And yes, the Swiss Army does issue 50,000 a year to new recruits. But even this is vulnerable since the Swiss voted in 2003 to cut their military forces in half.
Meanwhile, competition from fakers has been aggressive and the problems were exacerbated by a British Department of Transport ruling that allows metal cutlery, needles and nail scissors back on planes, but not knives.
Wenger, the other official manufacturer, has struggled so much it has been bought by Victorinox. But invention has characterised Swiss army knives since Karl Elsener produced his two-bladed "Officer and Sport Knife" in 1897, and the firms have placed faith in a "knifeless knife" for travellers.
The design includes a watch, clock, timer and torch, but no blade. Another design, the Swissmemory, includes USB memory and a pen.
Sales are good, says Schorno, and already there is geek approval.
"I am amazed at the satisfaction I get when I break into my sister's room," writes one on a gadget site.
"I can easily pick her lock; using the light I can search for her laptop. I can 'borrow' files, write a blackmail note with the pen, then file my nails after a job well done."
There might be life in the old knife yet.
- INDEPENDENT