Voice - (quietly) Frank? (Frank swats at his ear as if a fly is annoying him)
Voice - (louder) Frank. (Frank stirs in his chair and snorts a snore)
Voice - (louder still) Frank! Wake up Frank! (Frank wakes with a start).
Frank - What? Who? Oh I must have been dreaming. I'd better pay attention or the Pastor will catch me sleeping. Hey, where am I, this isn't church.
Voice - Well no Frank it's not and yes you were dreaming. In fact you still are dreaming.
Frank - Hey, who are you?
Voice - (slight Jewish accent) I Frank, am your conscience. That little voice in you that tell you when you're screwing up, breakin' your mother's heart and just plain missing the boat.
Frank - Well what do you want?
Voice - Frank, it's not what I want, it's what you need that brings me here. What you need is a reminder Frank. A subtle jolt of reality that I like to call (game show announcer) THE MISSED OPPORTUNITY SHOW.
Frank - I don't think I'm gonna like this.
Voice - (continuing in the game show voice) Well Frank, think back to high school. (A teenaged Hiedi walks out) Remember Hiedi? You were always too shy to talk to her. She liked you Frank, and even though she flunked home EC now she is famous TV chef and diet queen.
Frank - Who could've known, Mom said anyone who couldn't pass HOME EC wasn't good enough for me.
Voice - (Gangster voice)Then there was the band Frank. (Have Hiedi hold up some CDs) You could have sung with them Frank, you was good. (Ralph Cramden) But noooooo. You listened to Uncle Ralph.
Frank - He said Rock and Roll was just a FAD.
Voice - (Jewish voice again) Frank, Uncle Ralph is the same guy that thought Elvis would never amount to anything as long as he kept wiggling.(GESTAPO Voice) Und how about das Microsoft stocks you wouldn't buy. (Hiedi holds up a stock certificate $1M)
Frank - My broker suggested safe Utility Dividend stocks, you know like the uh power company. (Hiedi holds up a stock certificate 37 Cents)
Voice - (Gestapo voice still) Und the property in the country, I suppose you have an explanation? (Hiedi hold up a picture of a new house)
Frank - Who'd of thought anyone would want to live in an orchard.
Voice - (a bit condescending but normal voice) Frank, Frank, Frank. All those missed opportunities. Now, you're about to receive another opportunity Frank. Just like the other ones Frank it may make you uncomfortable, you may even have to give up something to get something. Your Uncle, your Mom, and your broker may even think your nuts. Frank - Sounds scary, what is it?
Voice - (BBC Nature Show Host voice) in just a few minutes, the Pastor is going to talk about a treasure in a field. That treasure is the way to eternal life Frank, (surfer voice) the big kahuna dude, (Speedy Gonzalas voice) the whole enchilada, (KTEL /RONCO voice) that is if you're willing to grab it and then take a chance and except it.
Frank - O.K. I'll do it. What do I need to do.
Voice - (kindly) Listen Frank, Listen and learn. But first would you please (LOUDLY) WAKE UP. (BLACKOUT)