Our home is a traditional
hindu family. After coming from school, we will go out to play with friends
and be back before 6.30. After a quick wash, all of us brothers and sisters
will sit in front of the lighted kuthu viLakku and sing prayer songs for
about half an hour. This is my earliest religeous, spiritual activity. During
the earlier years I used to get bored and look forward to the end of the
songs. This continued through all my school years. As I grew older,
I started using this period for reflections on the days events and planning
for the next days tasks. Since after years of reciting, I knew all the songs
by heart, I need not pay attention to the words to sing along. My mind will
be moving from hour to hour.
When I was in the second standard (7 years old) at school, had a friend
named Ramesh. He used to limb on his one leg. He was the closest anyone came
near my heart outside home. He is more intelligent than me (scores equal or
more marks in exams) and I naturally respected him. I wanted him to come to
our house. We were living near a big Pillaiyar Kovil (temple) in that area.
I told him it is very easy, he just has to come with his parents to the temple
and he can drop into my house. His answer was that he could not do it as
they are Christians. I insisted so much for so many days, one day he confessed
that his mother will scold him if he wants to go to the temple. I did not
understand why it has to be so.
The same Ramesh used to tell about their Kovil (the church) and the Samiyar
(Father) there. He can do many miracles and was telling me how nice he is.
I asked the obvious question, then why did he not cure your limb. He did
not expect the question, then managed to say that he normally plays on Sundays
and does not go to Church, that is why his problem is not solved.
My father is a continous seeker. He reads a lot of religeious, spiritual
books, used to visit friends similary inclined. Some of his friends also
used to visit our house to talk to my father. My father wanted to pass on
what he learnt to all of us. I still remember the day when he gathered all
of us around in the office cum prayer room and asked Who are you? The question
went round one by one (from the youngest onwards). Sensing something clever,
none of us answered anything till the Q reached my eldest brother. He said
I am an Atma. Appa intorragated him on that point. I do not remember what
he said after that, but the question remained with me for a long time and
I used to reflect on it at random times.
Note : nAn yAr? (Who am I?). Ramana Maharishi teaches to reflect
on this single question to seek the truth.
