You see, here is my testimony. I have always been uplifted. Always. By my mother, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and always have made them proud of me. This happened, pretty much, my whole life. But, this wasn't the "real" world. The real world is much different than those who have always lifted me up. I looked to others for happiness. If I could make others happy, they would make me happy. I like peace. No, I love peace. Happiness. No conflict. No daggers to the heart. Uplifting. Smooth water. Birds chirping.

So, what made me fall? My perceptions. My perceptions of the world and what it was supposed to give me. Having a good job, marriage, house, cars, trailer, were all supposed to fill my heart with great joy. So, I thought. Yeah, these things are good, but I thought that it would bring me pure happiness, joy, peace, love, fullfillment. I was wrong. Not to boast, I never touched a drug and never drank in my life. It's just a matter of fact. Those around me were confused. I was, too. But, you see, I have always had an emptiness, a void, a vacuum in my heart. Nothing filled it up. Nothing. TV shows, relationships, clubs, music, movies, sports, food, you name it. I reached the end of my rope. These worldly things didn't give me what I really wanted, and really needed! The world failed me. My heart was torn apart. Shredded. It was impossible to repair. I was searching for an answer. I did magic, read books about self-improvement to help my spirits, but nothing hit home. Nothing. I actually started feeling worse. I wasn't going to church, and I knew that wasn't good. My family and friends knew about this, too. I always went to church, just to make others happy. Even in church, I was to the point of depression.

I started breaking down. Satan and his demons were ruling my heart. I had no presence of God at all. It was in the middle of May of 2000 where things started to change.