| Silly Stories with Wal~Mart True stories of Mark Monnin Customers would complain about the price saying, "That's more than I expected," and, "Didn't think it was that much," until finally I said the price and a baby started crying immediately. How bad is that!? I once had a man come through with a nightgown and some panties (sometimes men buy women's panties for themselves... once a guy came through with some thongs that were all blandly colored... ewww) and he said, "These aren't for me." A little later he said again, "They aren't for me.... I know what you're thinkin." Ewww. During one break on 2nd shift, my last break, I came in during 3rd shift's meeting. The manager decided that when we did the Wal~Mart cheer, we'd go down the row I was sitting in. He started with W, then they went on with A and L, so I said, "M!" and then they looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train, so I quickly gathered myself and I said, "Oh, I mean, 'Give me a SQUIGGLY!'" Oopsies. Towards the end of my shift once, near 11 o'clock, a man came in with some friends and took a Slim Jim that was sausage-sized, but very short, put it in his crotch and started making circles with it. He then asked me if one could do circles with it. I said I didn't know. I don't know what he meant my circles. The cop behind me said he was lucky he was ready to leave because he should have been kicked out for that. She said she didn't know what circles was either. I expect it's sexual, but being eighteen, I should have known, right? Once I had a very young girl who had seen too much Jerry McGuire in my line. She kept repeating "Mommy, where's the money?" She asked over and over and over until I felt like shouting out "Show me the money!" when the time came to state the total. "Where's the money?!" A woman once came through and bought some fake flowers and then a box full of petals. But when this woman came through and her friend said, "Those petals are nice," I noticed the petals and thought back to friends when they had a guest star and Monica was sleeping with him but there wasn't a relationship and she, maybe he, would put petals all over the bed to make it romantic. I have women come through and buy condoms all the time. More than men.I thought of asking this lady, "Where's the condoms?" What a fool I would have been. One day I rung up a customer and her daughter remembered she had forgotten something. There was nobody in line so I was gonna wait anyway, but the mother said "she had it picked out, she just didn't get it." So after about a minute, the girl, who might have been about 15, came back. Her mother looked at her and said "Throw it up there," in a "Come on!" sort of tone. The daughter looked at the mother and said "You're so mean." She put it on the belt and it was panties. She was so embarrassed..................but to me it was no big deal. There was a time when I was ringing up a customer and behind me I heard "Why are you holding yourself?" This made me very curious very quickly so I turned around to see she was talking to a little boy that needed to go to the restroom. Thank God. Walking outside to the car after work one evening, I heard a car rev up its engine. I looked over to see a pretty small white car. But not just an ordinary white car. This car must have had some long axles because the wheels were sticking out the sides past the frame. It made it look like a go cart because of it's size! Crazy people! |