Manhattan, New York: September, 2002

“Do you ever feel like your life is too perfect?”

AJ nearly spat out his drink at Melissa’s question. One moment, they’d been leaning against the bar laughing over Jimmy Fallon’s Enrique impression earlier that night. Then, suddenly, Melissa pulled a deep, thought-provoking question out of nowhere. P.Diddy’s post-VMA, “The Greatest Party of All Time” shindig was not the most opportune time to start such a discussion.

“What the fuck makes you pull a question like that out of your ass?” AJ responded.

Melissa had the glazed-over look in her eyes that she always got when she was lost in a trail of thoughts. She was leaning against the bar, cranberry lemonade in hand, surveying the mass of celebrities before her. Her attention paused momentarily on a tall mop of blonde hair that, at the time, was chatting comfortably with Britney Spears on the edge of the crowd.

The sight made Melissa smile, though nearly any glimpse of Nick Carter caused the corners of her mouth to turn upwards. Last year at this time, Nick and Britney wouldn’t have said more then two words to one another. But since Melissa came into the picture, they chatted like comfortable acquaintances. That made Melissa happy. She was glad when her friends became friends. She shook away a little chuckle and turned her head back to look at AJ. “It just feels like everything in the world is at our fingertips.”

AJ could see where she was coming from. “You’ve finally got your life in order. You have the job you’ve always wanted, the house you’ve always wanted, and most importantly, the man you’ve always wanted.”

Pink coloring crept into Melissa’s cheeks. All those years, she’d been oblivious to the public knowledge of her thing for Nick.

“And you,” Melissa poked AJ in the center of his ribcage with her index finger. “…you have got an amazing new album coming out in a few months, and your going to be getting married to boot!”

It was AJ whose gaze took a momentary detour to locate his favorite mop of hair. Sarah was sitting down at a table nearby chatting with the other Backstreet women. She caught AJ’s eye and waved, causing them both to smile.

“Things are pretty perfect,” AJ agreed. “But where are you going with all this?”

“Exactly,” Melissa commented. Her smile had faded, and she took a sip of her drink before continuing on. “Things are pretty perfect. And that scares me. What do you do when you have everything that you’ve always dreamed of?”

“You start dreaming for something else.” AJ explained. “Something new.”

“Isn’t that kind of selfish?” Melissa had, after all, grown up in the Catholic Church. She was both blessed and cursed with images of selflessness, martyrdom and confession.

AJ shook his head, then paused, and shrugged his shoulders. “Yes, no. I don’t know. All I know is that we’re both young. And although we’ve been blessed with so many things at such a young age, I don’t believe we should stop striving for more. Maybe it is selfish. But what’s the alternative? Not do anything at all? That’s pretty selfish… and lazy… as well. I guess you kind of have to keep reaching for the stars if you plan on moving forward with your life.”

“You sound like an after school special,” Melissa remarked with a laugh.

“It’s cheesy, I know.” AJ agreed. “But your only twenty-two. There’s got to be something else you want to accomplish in your lifetime?”

Melissa’s eyes scanned the room, darting from person to person. She located Leighanne, whose pregnant belly was protruding the waist of her pants. Melissa had tried to be discreet about the glance, but AJ was far too observant for his own good. He smacked her face lightly and gasped. “Melissa Baras! You aren’t picturing diapers and baby bottles in your future, are you?!”

Melissa shrugged. “I think at some point in life, every woman has looked in baby name books.”

“Does Nicky know about this little fantasy of yours?” When AJ had asked Melissa about what she wanted to accomplish, this wasn’t what he expected. Brian having a baby was one thing. But Nick? The boy they’d raised on the road for the past ten years? That was an entirely different story.

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Don’t get your panties all up in a bunch, Jay. Yeah, I’ve thought about having babies. But not for a long, LONG time. Like you said, I’m only twenty-two years old. I’ve got my whole life ahead of me. Nope, no babies. Not for at least five to ten years. The last thing Britney needs is a pregnant back-up dancer.”

The image caused them both to burst out laughing. Britney, changed out of her dolled-up dominatrix get-up, turned around. She tossed AJ and Melissa a weird, questioning look at their outburst.

“God, I can just see it now.” AJ commented, once he’d calmed himself down a bit. “Your big pregnant belly hanging out of the skanked-up school uniform.”

The comment sent the two back into hysterics again. Melissa found herself laughing so hard that she chocked on the piece of ice she’d been playing with in her mouth. AJ had to pat her on the back until she regained her composure.

“Lord, we’ve had some good times together Jay.” Melissa commented.

“That we have,” AJ had to agree. “But you never answered my question- does Nick know about this fantasy of yours?”

Melissa’s eyes glinted. “Why? How do you think he’d react to the conversation?”

It stumped AJ. “I don’t know. Honestly, I guess I haven’t really thought of Nick in that way. He’s still my little brother, you know?”

“He’s not so little anymore, Jay. None of us are.” Melissa spoke so softly it came out almost in a whisper.

“That, unfortunately, I know.” AJ said, as he ran his hands over his receding hairline. “But knowing Nick, I don’t think the boy would know how to react to you wanting to have a baby. That boy is too spoiled to notice how good he has it.”

“I don’t know about that,” Melissa disagreed. “I think all of us are so in awe of everything we’ve been blessed with, that we don’t really know how to react to everything that is happening to us.”

“But you make it seem like it’s been some fairy tale ride of a life.” AJ pointed out. “And if that’s what you think, I don’t know where the hell you’ve been all these years. Because I know one thing for sure, it’s been one bumpy-ass journey to get to the place we’re at today.”

“You’re right…” realized Melissa. When times were good, she had a tendency to over gloss her situation. When times were bad, everything was over dramatized to the point that it was the end of the world. “Good Lord, you’re right. We’ve had one hell of a boat ride, haven’t we Jay?”

AJ wrapped one arm around Melissa’s shoulders, pulling her in closer to his body. He kissed the top of her head. “Girl, I’m just glad you got back in our lifeboat. I just hope it’s for good this time.”

“So do I, AJ…” Melissa agreed. “So do I…”

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