The Bahamas: Spring 2000

Nick sat inside a dimly-lit, run down tavern. He sat surrounded by the other Boys in the corner booth, nursing a large mug of beer. Just outside the window, the sunny beach landscape of the Bahamas met Nick’s eyes. Taking a long sip of the cold, frothy beer, Nick had to smile to himself.

Recording in the Bahamas was the best idea the Backstreet Boys had had in quite awhile. No wives, no fiancés, no girlfriends- no problems. Just the guys- doing male bonding-type stuff. Like the good ol’ days- back when things were simple. Yep, it was all about the music on this trip. Nothing else to be distracted by…

Just then, a deeply-tanned waitress walked approached. She smiled at Nick, flashing a row of pearly whites. He couldn’t help it. He smiled back. She continued on to the next table, ready to take someone else’s order. As she walked away, Nick couldn’t help but notice her finely-shaped legs peeking out of an extremely short skirt.

Okay, so there were a couple distractions. Sure, you could leave the ‘significant others’ at home, but you couldn’t ignore all the beautiful island natives. At least that is what Nick had learned after waking up next to an attractive girl every morning. A different attractive girl every morning.

“Put your eyes back in your head, little man.” Kevin instructed.

Nick turned to the eldest Backstreet Boy and rolled his eyes as dramatically as possible. “Like you is one to talk, old man.”

“Do I have to remind you that I’m now happily married?” Kevin spouted back.

“Where’s your wedding ring then,” Nick retorted. He pointed at Kevin’s left hand, which was guiltily naked.

Kevin withdrew his hand from the table and hid it behind his back. “I must have left it on the bathroom sink this morning.”

“My ass,” Howie spoke up. All the guys stopped to laugh. Howie tried to be bad-ass every once and awhile, and was never able to pull it off. “I saw you bring that redhead from the club into your room last night.”

“You cheated on Kirsten?” Brian exclaimed, looking at his cousin in alarm.

Kevin shrugged. “You know I’ve done it before.”

“But you weren’t married then,” Brian pointed out.

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Stop preaching, Brother Brian. Its not as if you’ve never cheated on Leighanne.”

Brian’s face turned bright red. After having a little too much to drink one night in New Orleans, Brian had let a fan give him a blow job. He’d instantly felt horrible about it and had been living with the guilt ever since.

“Not since we got engaged,” Brian stood up for himself. “Come on, Kev. I thought the whole point of settling down was to actual settle down, with ONE girl.”

“I let you live your life, so just let me live mine.” Kevin didn’t like to debate with people. In his mind, there was no point because he was always right.

“Does Kirsten know?” Nick asked. He couldn’t imagine why Kevin would ever deliberately hurt Kirsten. Kirsten was…perfect. She was pretty, sweet, charming, funny, caring, talented. The girl had it all. All the guys adored her and were relieved when Kevin finally popped the question to Kirsten.

“Kirsten is on a need to know basis,” Kevin explained.

To himself, Nick couldn’t help but shake his head. He was imagining their Behind The Music episode in twenty years. Appearance-wise, Kevin was perfect. He’d tragically lost his father to cancer, but was able to carry on that relationship as he watched out for his younger band mates. GQ-model looks and a sexy low voice. A beautiful doting wife. But what the public didn’t know was appearances were the only thing that Kevin cared about. Didn’t matter how screwy things were on the inside, as long as they appeared to be all right on the outside.

“Kevin?” Nick asked. “Can you answer me a question?”

“Shoot, little man.” Kevin said as he reached for his glass of beer.

“Why’d you marry Kirsten?”

Kevin set his glass back down on the table. It wasn’t the question he’d been expecting. Not from Nick, at least. “We’d been dating eight years. After that long together, it only makes sense that you get married.”

That was about the least romantic response possible. Kevin loved his wife, Nick didn’t doubt that fact at all. But loving his wife and being completely committed to his wife were two entirely different things. But Kevin had just confirmed what Nick had been thinking all along: he’d gotten married because it seemed like the right thing to do.

“Besides,” Kevin shrugged. “Its nice to have someone to come home to.”

Nick was silent, letting the words seep in. Kevin was right. It was nice having someone to come home to. Nick knew from experience that after a long tour, it was nice to climb into bed and have Mandy hold him tight. So if Kevin was right about that, was he right about other things as well? Mandy was the first girl Nick had ever seriously dated. His relationship with her, though often strained, was familiar. But was that a good enough reason to be together anymore? Years from now, would Nick discuss their relationship in the same unromantic banter that Kevin had just described his marriage?

“Bri? Why are you getting married?” Nick turned to the soon-to-be-married man.

“What’s up with all these marriage questions, Nicky Boy?” AJ taunted. “Thinking about popping the question?”

“Oh, hell no. There’s no way that’s going to be happening. Not to me…not for a LONG while.” Nick said loudly, a horrified look on his face. “The five of us just haven’t had a real, non-work-related conversation in forever.”

The other Boys nodded, as if deeming that a reasonable enough answer for Nick giving everyone the third degree. It didn’t take Brian but a moment to answer. “Because without Leighanne, I feel lost. Like a part of me is missing. Like I don’t know what to do with myself. Because I don’t know what I’d do with myself without her in my life.”

Leave it to Brian to come up with the sappy, romantic answer. No wonder he was the best songwriter out of all of them. This cheesy boy band shit comes so easily to him.

AJ snorted. “Cut the crap, Brian. You’re whipped. I know it, you know it- everyone knows it. You like your women blonde, big-busted and dominating in bed and everything else.”

All the Boys laughed, except for Brian. But they also noticed the small smile that played across Brian’s lips, and the fact that he didn’t deny AJ’s accusations. Brother Brian wasn’t quite so godly after all.

Leighanne wasn’t Nick’s favorite person in the world, that was for sure. In many respects, she had stolen his best friend away from him. Like a little kid, Nick would always resent her for that. But despite any personal feelings regarding Leighanne, Nick knew she fit well with Brian. They were opposites in many respects, and therefore evened each other out. Maybe that was part of the reason Nick and Mandy butted heads so often. In many respects, Nick and Mandy were driven to achieve the same goals. Maybe they didn’t have enough opposing interests to keep their relationship stimulating.

“Howie, how come you’ve never settled down?”

Howie groaned. He hated being asked this question. It was as if it were some horrible sin to be in your late twenties and not have a steady partner. “My life is hard enough as it is, Nicky. I don’t need a girlfriend to make things even more difficult. Sometimes things are just easier being single. Plus, it’s a helluva lot of fun.”

Howie was right on that one. Relationships were difficult. Nick didn’t like change, and that was part of the reason he stuck around Mandy. Nick always knew what to expect when he was involved with her, even if that meant expecting the worst. At least there weren’t any surprises. But was keeping things the same for familiarities sake really worth all the pain of arguing?

“And what about Amanda, Aeej?”

AJ sighed happily. “I’m a better person because of Amanda. She has my best interests at heart, as I do for her.”

There was one thing that lacked with him and Mandy. They never put one another first. For Mandy, her career went first, then Nick.

Nick loved Amanda almost as much as he loved Kirsten. Almost. He would never forget the fact that she dated members of *NSYNC and LFO, and that always left Amanda a rung behind Kirsten.

Nick loved Amanda for all the reasons he loved AJ. She was crazy and wacky and fun- but deep down she wanted what was best for everyone. She’d gotten AJ off his brief stint with cocaine and into the church. Although Nick wasn’t really that religious, he found that really admirable.

Nick took a sip of his beer and reflected on how sad he suddenly felt. He couldn’t remember the last time someone looked out for his best interests in the way Amanda did for AJ. Surrounded by his four band mates, Nick suddenly felt very alone. As if no one in the world was looking out for him. Especially not the person who loved him the most.

Hand in his pocket, Nick fumble for his cell phone. He had gotten up from the table and began to move towards the bathroom. He needed some privacy.

“Nick, man, where ya going?” Kevin asked.

“To call Mandy,” Nick explained. “I think we need to break up.”

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