-make it alright-
-chapter twenty-nine-

�You�look�AMAZING.�

Self-consciously, Melissa blushed under Brent�s gaze. She�d just emerged from the bathroom, having spent near three hours getting ready. Her periwinkle dress was low-cut and tight fitting around the torso, flaring out into a short skirt. She wore matching tights and tall white high heels. Her hair was pulled back into a half-ponytail, drawing attention to the purple eye make-up surrounding her warm brown eyes.

Her eyes are her best feature, Brent decided at that moment. He was beaming with pride as he looked on at his beautiful girlfriend. Her hair is definitely the most eye-catching feature, and she has an amazing body. But those eyes�there�s just something about them�

Melissa felt uncomfortable under Brent�s gaze. She nervously tugged on the bottom of her skirt, just barely shorter then the tips of her fingers. She knew Brent looked at her with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. And that was the problem.

It had been almost five months since her altercation with Jorge. After much fret, Jorge and Sadie had helped Melissa conclude that it was best to come clean with Brent. But timing proved to be a difficult problem. Telling Brent over the phone seemed wrong somehow. And college life kept her busy, unable to fly to Florida for a weekend.

It had been a difficult year for Brent. He�d fallen into the wrong crowd of friends in Tampa- partying a little too hard. It was doubtful if he�d graduate as expected this spring. Time and time again, Brent had reached out to Melissa to help him through this time. He was the only girl he�d ever loved. But Melissa�s life had changed dramatically since her move to Las Vegas. Dance team, the sorority, her studies occupied most of the time. In fact, over the last couple of month, Brent had the feeling that Melissa�s new life in Nevada had taken precedence over her old life in Florida. He feared that she was forgetting him. And he loved her so much, he wouldn�t let that happen. So after months of begging, he�d persuaded her to fly to Florida for the weekend. It was April 23, 1999, Brent�s eighteenth birthday. He wanted to go dancing on Pleasure Island, and he wanted his girl by his side. So Melissa agreed to come, even if the agreement seemed a bit forced.

Brent approached Melissa. Happily, he wrapped her into a hug. Her head turned, resting against his chest. She let out a sigh. Brent�s hugs were comfortable and familiar. And normally a foul-proof way to brighten her spirits. But that wouldn�t work today. She felt dishonest.

�Mel, what�s the matter?� Brent asked. He held Melissa at arms length, staring at her with concern.

Melissa shook her head, an attempt to shake away her guilty conscious. She�d tell Brent this weekend. She had too. But not tonight. Tonight�s his birthday, and it has to be perfect. �Nothing�s wrong.�

�I�ve known you for ten years now, Mel. I can tell when something is the matter.� Brent pushed a little harder for the answer to the question.

Melissa forced her lips into a tight smile. �Nothing�s the matter, Brenty-boy. Now, we better get a move on it. It�s a long drive to Orlando, and I�m ready to hit the dance floor.�

�Follow me.� Brent said as he took Melissa by the hand. He led her outside. The sun had just gone down, but left its lingering presence in the air. It was one of those wonderful spring evenings that held all the magic of the upcoming summer. As children, Brent and Melissa would have relished in a Friday evening like that one. They would have spent all night outside, playing Capture the Flag or holding s�ances. But they weren�t children anymore, and both were regrettably far too aware of that fact.

Brent took a seat on the front stoop of his house, motioning for Melissa to follow his lead. A lot of memories had occurred on that stoop. But the one that was just about to happen was the memory they�d both think of the most often.

�Mel,� Brent began. The tone of voice he spoke in was different then normal- softer, lower, and more sincere. Melissa knew that she�d been the only person ever to hear Brent speak like that. �You know I love you more than life itself, don�t you?�

Melissa twinged. It was like Brent knew what had happened, and he was trying to make her feel even guiltier. Why does he have to be so perfect, so nice? I found the one decent straight guy in the entire world, and I had to be the one to fuck up the situation. She nodded with her thin-lipped smile.

�I just think we have one of the most amazing relationships. I mean, we were best friends for years before we decided to start dating. That sounds like something out of a movie, but it isn�t. Its real life, Mel. Our real life.�

�I guess we�ve been pretty lucky.� Melissa agreed. She didn�t know what else to say.

�But I don�t know. I feel like things have been different lately, ever since you went to school. And I understand that you have this whole new world now, and that it takes up a lot of your time. I just don�t want you to think that I�m jealous or anything.�

�And I don�t want you to be jealous, either.�

�Good. No jealousy here.� Brent agreed. He sighed. �I just feel that we�ve been growing apart these last couple months. Sometimes it feels that you�re purposefully avoiding me. And that�s the last thing I want to happen. You�re the most important person in my life, Mel, and I don�t want you to just dismiss these past ten years of friendship like you did to-�

He cut himself off at that point. It wasn�t the time to bring Nick into a conversation. Brent bit his lip. This conversation wasn�t going the way he�d intended. �I can�t imagine my life without you, Mel. I just don�t want you to forget about me.�

Melissa sighed. It was now or never. �Brent, I have to tell you something. Something really important.�

�Mel, you know you can tell me anything,� Brent said gently. �I honestly can�t see what you�re fretting about. You�ve never done anything wrong in your entire life. Whatever you have to tell me, it can�t be that bad. Besides, I�ll always love you. Nothing can change that.�

Brent spoke with a sort of sincere vulnerability. He truthfully believed what he was saying with every inch of his being. That made Melissa�s confession so much more difficult. He�d have no idea what was about to hit him.

Melissa sighed. Her eyes focused on the hem of her dress, which she aimlessly wound around her index finger. She knew that telling Brent her secret would be one of the hardest things she had ever done. She couldn�t do it looking directly into his eyes. Despite what had happened, Melissa still loved Brent. She always would. She couldn�t bare to see him in pain, and she knew her confession would bring nothing but hurt to his eyes.

�College�well, it isn�t really what I expected it to be, Brent.� Melissa began slowly.

�How so?� He questioned. �It seems to me as if you�ve been having a great time.�

�I have,� Melissa admitted. �And I think that�s part of the problem.�

�Why aren�t you looking at me?� Brent interrupted with a question. He was beginning to grow wary and suspicious of what Melissa was about to tell him.

�Please don�t interrupt me, Brent.� Melissa said as gently as she could. �What I have to say is hard enough as it is. If I don�t get it out right away, in one burst, I don�t know if I�ll ever be able to.�

If Brent was suspicious before, Melissa last statement confirmed his worries. He was now straight-on scared out of his mind. And worst of all, he had no idea why.

�When I started school in the fall,� Melissa started up once again. �I wasn�t myself. My mama was, hell- she still is, mad at me for going to school in Vegas. So I was stressed out about that. And I was stressed out about my classes- college is a helluva lot harder then I expected it to be. And of course, there was the situation with Nick. I was still really distraught over the whole mess. But he had seemed to move on- like he didn�t have a care in the world. And that really pissed me off. I didn�t think it was fair for him to be so happy-go-lucky when I�d just gone through the most difficult summer of my life.�

Melissa paused. �And worst of all- you were all the way across the country. We�ve spent our whole relationship living in different states. But somehow, this year was different. When I was in high school, I could hop a plane to Florida whenever I chose. But studies, the sorority and dance team consume every moment of my life now. I couldn�t physically be with you- and that was really difficult for me.�

As much as Brent wanted to interrupt, he refrained. He wanted to tell Melissa that he felt the exact same way; tell her about all the times he�d been near tears wishing Melissa was by his side. But he didn�t say anything.

�I was determined not to let myself get down. To have a good time. Brent, I started partying. Quite a bit.

�It all came to a head on New Years. Sadie got Jorge and I fake I.D.s, and we went partying at Studio 54. We got pretty wasted� I don�t even really remember what happened. Sadie had to fill Jorge and I in the next morning.

�Brent, it was all a big mistake. We were really drunk, and didn�t know what was going on. If we had, it would�ve never happened. And it never will happen ever again, I can promise you that. I haven�t had a thing to drink since that night.� For the first time, Melissa looked Brent directly in the eyes. She spoke urgently- a pleading tone to her voice.

�Melissa- what happened?� Brent asked. She still hadn�t made that point clear.

�Jorge and I- we slept together.� Melissa spoke in a soft voice, her eye focus now lowered.

�You what?� Brent spoke slowly. He couldn�t comprehend what Melissa had confessed to him. It just didn�t make sense. Never in his life would he have pictured that happening. It was just too unbelievable.

�It was a mistake, Brent. You have to understand that.� Melissa pleaded. Tear began to form in her eyes.

�But Jorge is gay. And you�re a virgin.� Ironically enough, Brent reacted to the situation just as Melissa had months before.

�We were really wasted. We didn�t know what was going on. If we did, that would�ve never have happened.� Melissa reiterated.

�Thing like that don�t �just happen,� Mel.� Brent�s voice was different then Melissa had expected it to be. It wasn�t angry, nor was it hurt. It was strong and sure of itself. �I�ve been drunk before, plenty of times. Near stomach-pumping point, even. But never have I just lost myself like that, Mel. Never. There must have been some part of you that wanted to have sex with Jorge, because otherwise you would�ve never have let it happen. I know you, Mel. You�re stubborn as hell. You don�t just randomly get drunk and have sex with someone.�

�Why would I do that on purpose, Brent?� Tears now ran freely down Melissa�s cheeks. Her mascara and foundation began to smear in long streaks, but she didn�t seem to care. �I love you, Brent. I would never purposefully hurt you.�

�You expect me to believe that?� Brent asked loudly. �We�ve been dating for years now. And through our whole relationship, you have refused to sleep with me. So what do you do? You go out and sleep with Jorge. That proves it- you can�t love me, Mel. Because you�d rather sleep with your gay best friend then with me.�

�It�s not like that!� Melissa insisted. �Its not that I don�t want to sleep with you, Brent. Because Lord knows that I do. It�s all I think about sometimes. But deep down inside, I know that sex is a lot more meaningful if you wait until marriage. I�d never choose Jorge over you, Brent.�

�Do you know what its like to be an eighteen-year-old virgin male, Mel? No. I don�t think so. You don�t live with me, Mel. You don�t see the ridicule I go through every day. The guys rag on me constantly about being a virgin. I don�t even want to wait until marriage, but I have been waiting nevertheless. Waiting because I love you, and I know how important you say it is to you. God, there�s been times that I�ve been tempted to go out and sleep with some random girl at school, just to say I�ve done it. But I haven�t. I haven�t because I love you, and I could never picture being unfaithful to you. But a trust was betrayed, Mel. Betrayed by you. And that hurts like hell.�

�You have to believe me, Brent. I DID NOT MEAN TO SLEEP WITH JORGE. You have to forgive me.�

�Tell me one thing,� Brent�s voice lowered to a more normal level. �Are you planning to remain abstinent after this whole ordeal.�

Melissa fingered the diamond promise ring on her left hand. �In my eyes, I�m still a virgin, Brent. It was a mistake I�d like to forget about.�

�Then I don�t think we�ll be able to continue on with this relationship.� Brent stated clearly as he got to his feet.

�What?!� Melissa face shot upwards. That wasn�t the reaction she�d expected from Brent. She knew she would hurt him with the confession, but she never imagined he�d turn his back on her. They loved each other too much. �Why?�

�Staying a virgin this long has been hard enough.� Said Brent. �I don�t think I can keep being abstinent when I know you�ve slept with someone else.�

�Since when did our relationship turn into a competition?�

�Never. Because as of right now, we don�t have a relationship.� Brent turned around on his heel, heading back towards the front door of his house. Hand on the doorknob, he opened his mouth to Melissa one final time. �Happy Birthday to me.�

The door slammed shut. Melissa was left alone on his porch, sobbing. With nowhere to go and no one to take care of her.

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