Unforgiven Sins
              
(Sins of thy father)
             
copyright(c)2002M.A.Anderson                                         



I  was  still wearing the two piece,  black linen  suit I  had worn to my parents funeral when  I boarded the train late that  afternoon.  I  had  not waited for grief  to  set  in  or allowed myself  time to wallow in self pity. I had simply returned  to  the  rooming house   immediately  after  the  graveside service,   packed my bags and bought a ticket for the next train home.
   As I wandered along the ailse peering up at the numbers above the seats and struggling with my bag, I realized, for the  first time in my life,  that apart from my aunt  Marie, who I rarely had any contact with,  I had no family.   My parents  had  not  been fortunate enough to  have  another baby after I was born,  complications during the  delivery had prevented that.   The sudden epiphany  caused me to stop dead in my tracks...I was truly alone.   I stood in the aisle for some time before gathering my thoughts, moving on and finding my seat.  I slid in between the seats and turned  toward  the  window.   The  carriage  felt   a  little
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claustrophobic.  I  dropped my heavy bag  onto  the  seat, then  reached up,  unlatched the lock on the  window  and lowered it to the first notch. Warm air rushed inside and I coughed  from  the sudden inhalation  of  vapor.  I  turned back  toward  the seat,  unzipped my bag and took  out  a Vanity Fair magazine,  then I rezipped it and pushed it up into the compartment above my seat.  As I turned around to take my seat,  I was startled  by a man standing in the aisle next  to  me.  He was tall,  at least  6 feet 3 inches,  maybe more, with sandy colored, shoulder length hair and goatee. Underneath  a  charcoal  colored overcoat he wore  a  dark green,   double-breasted suit,   with a soft  green  shirt and black silk tie.   I suppose I would consider him handsome. He looked down at the  ticket in his hand,   then looked in my direction and smiled...
    �This is seat number 14A, isn�t it?� he asked. 
    �Ah,  yes...yes  it  is,�  I replied,   giving him  a  furtive  look  before  sitting down and focusing  my  gaze  on  the magazine in my lap.
    He jostled  with his  over  laden  bag as he tossed  it up into the compartment  above his seat,  then turned around and sat down opposite me.
    I feigned interest in my magazine, lifting it closer to my face and tried to ignore his  presence,   although  I had the uncomfortable feeling  that he was watching  me. I flipped through  several  of  the  glossy pages, oblivious  to  what  was   on  them,   then  finally  glanced
casually  over  the
                              Unforgiven Sins                           3


top  of  the  magazine  in  his  direction.  He  was  sitting  back  with  his arms  folded  across  his  chest  watching me.
     �My  name�s  Brady...Brady  Sanderson.�   He  leaned across and extended his hand.
     I lowered my magazine. �Hello,� I said, reaching out to take his outstretched hand.
     �Mine�s Amanda DuPont.�
     �It�s a pleasure,� he replied, releasing my hand.  �How far are you going?
     �All the way to the end,� I replied. �You?�
     �That is a coincidence, so am I.�
     I  gave  him  a  slight  smile  and  gazed  down  at  my magazine again.   There was an uncomfortable  silence for quite some time, then he finally spoke.
     �Didn�t I see you at the cemetery this afternoon?�   he asked.
     I  suddenly  became defensive.   �Why were you at the cemetery?�
     �I was visiting my parent�s graves before I leave on an extensive business trip,� he explained.
     �Oh.�  I smiled and relaxed a little.  �I�m sorry,  I guess I�m still a little...�
     �Shaken up?�
     �Yes, considerably.� I looked into his eyes. �It was my parent's funeral.�
     
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                                 M.A.Anderson                            4
     

    �I  am  sorry.�  He moved forward, reached across and  took  my  hand.   �I  know  we  don�t  know  each  other very well,  but,   if you�d like to talk about it...I�m  a good listener.�
     I slid my hand out of his gentle grasp. �Thanks for the offer, but I really can�t right now. 
     �I understand.  You  know  where  to  find  me  if  you change  your  mind.� He  gazed out of the window  at  the hubbub on the platform.
     People  were  rushing  to board  the  train.  Some  with suitcases  or  bags,  others with heavy laden rucksacks on their  backs.   The carriage was beginning  to  fill  up  with passengers.
     The  sun  had almost set and the fluorescent lights  on the   platform    suddenly   flashed   on,   the   brightness crashing  against the window like a flashbulb on a  camera. We both jumped at the sudden shock of light, then looked at  each  other  self consciously and  smiled.  As  I  gazed  at  his  attractive  face,   I  suddenly  felt a twinge of  guilt for  being  overly  defensive  and  declining  his   offer  of  consolation.   I  came  to  the conclusion  that,  under  the  circumstances,   he  was  just  trying  to  be  considerate and  decided  that  talking  to  him  couldn�t   pose  too  much   of  a  problem.   I  closed   the magazine and laid it on the seat beside me.
     'Mr.  Sanderson?'  He gazed across at me. 'I  really don�t  want  to  talk  about today,  but  if  you�d  like  to  
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talk about something else, I'd be happy to,� I offered.
     �I�d like that,� he said, smiling. He had a great smile. �So, where are you from?�
     �All over really.  But now I�m based in Chicago.�
     �Wouldn�t it have been easier to fly?�
     �Yes, it would have, but I don�t like flying. I don�t know why...I just can�t bring myself to get on a plane,� I explained.
     �You  don�t  know what you�re missing,�  he  replied.
     �Maybe, but  I  prefer to keep my feet firmly  on  the ground.�  I  glanced  out  of  the  window,  the  train  was almost ready to leave. I could see the guard moving along the platform readying himself to signal the driver. I turned back. �Where are you from?� I asked.
     �Me? New York.�
     �Why didn�t you fly? Wouldn�t it have been easier for you...quicker?� I asked, raising a questioning eyebrow.
     He laughed. �You don�t miss much, do you? Yes, it would have.� He leaned forward and looked into my eyes. �But to be honest, I wanted to get to know you better.�
     An icy chill curled through my body ending at the nape of my neck.

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                      M.A.Anderson                            6


Two weeks prior to the funeral:


   
My  dream  dissipated  into  a  black  vacuum  as  the  incessant   ringing  of  my   telephone  filtered  into   my  dream  space waking me with a start.  I sprang up in bed and   clutched   at  the   telephone   knocking  it  off   the  nightstand.  It  hit  the  floor  with   a  loud  clang   and  I almost  fell  out of  bed  as  I reached down,  snatched  up the  receiver  and  fumbled  with  the  tangled  cord  before  jerking  it  toward  me  and  placing  it against my ear.
   �H...Hello?�  I  answered,  trying  to gather  my  drowsy composure.
   �Miss Amanda DuPont?� the caller asked.
   �Yes.� I frowned,  my hazy thoughts suddenly snapping into awareness. �Who�s this?�
   �This   is   Senior   Detective   Tim  Donohue   from   the Chicago Police Department...I�m sorry to be calling you at such an ungodly hour Miss DuPont,  but it�s rather urgent that  I  speak  with  you  in  person. Would it be possible  for  you  to  come  down to  the  station  as  soon  as  it�s convenient to do so?�
   An  unsettling  sensation  snaked  its  way  through  my body,  something  was  wrong.   I  could  hear  it  in  the tightness   of  his  voice.  I  flung  the  bed   clothes   back, swung my legs over the side of the bed and sat up.

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