| *~*Poems And Writings*~* |
| ~Darkness~ I'm swimming all alone in a pool of darkness and I feel like darkness is slowly pulling me under I yell for help but no one is there to hear it I begin to see the water at eye level and I kick and flail fighting to stay above the darkness But the darkness won't let go of its hold on me and I slowly begin to give in to the feeling that lies below the water line the waters starts to fill my lungs the lungs that once held so much life yet now they allow the murky water to replace that I know that this path doesn't lead to happiness But why doesn't someone grab my hand pull me from darkness's grasp? because no one knows I stand at the boundary the boundary between light and dark so I give in to the thing that holds me All of the strength and all of the courage that I once held in my heart can't save me from the water So I slowly slip below the world of conscientiousness undetected by the occupants of that world I don't want to fight anymore I've given into darkness |
| -+-Behind Your Eyes-+- broken wings lost in spite shattered voices in the night helpless feelings faith in doubt nothing left to talk about minds go black hidden so the answers you seek never show can't be wrong when nothing's there but a bleak and crooked stare bloody hands in your mind truth be sought but you never find cretins run and leap around but never once make a sound in your head you are right but all around you're out of sight i dont hear i dont live i dont see i dont give you dont take you dont care you dont feel me everywhere senses gone healing naught for all the reasons i have faught for the truth in your lies barriers broken deep inside why must you stop all things i do i just need to be inside of you inside your soul inside your brain until the mortal part is slain i want your life i want your death i want your pain when nothing's left eat your flesh swallowed whole stole your being redeemed your soul now you're mine i'm not for you i'll keep you here beside me too no complaints no loud cries no restraints behind your eyes |
| <+>Deadly Love<+> When you've begun to fade And life takes its toll I want you to remember me Through the shadows of the cold You never really know When your time has come But once its started Nothing can be undone Thats the problem with us The mortal as well as elf You fade from my arms And I'm all by myself I keep on going With a tear of silver in my eye Questions brew never knowing Of why we have to die It doesnt make much sense To fade from existence Whats the meaning of life? To lose without reason First it was me Who died in your arms But my heart Will linger ever on If you dont recall I remember just find The pain of a blade And the breaking of my heart The light fades as you walk away I slide down the wall as the knfe slits my heart And once again... All goes cold Yet I still remember The day I should have died I dont know if you knew But I know you cried Before your last words I must ask you why? What possessed your mind To make your lover die No, wait dont answer Just save your breath Please hold on Keep your soul in your chest I shall give you a kiss Just like you did me But I assure you Ill not keep you in misery For I have what I need And you can thank me later When you come back from the dark And you encounter death I will be there to help you Before he takes your heart And we will be together And never will we part |
| *~Eternally Damned~* As the days pass slowly And the weeks creep by I find myself obsessing About ways that I could die. I lay awake at night Thinking of my pain. There's no way it can get better; I have nothing left to gain. Suddenly thoughts of death Are controlling my every move, And every battle with my mind I always seem to lose. I no longer want to be around The people that I love All that I can think about Is what's waiting up above. I cut my arms with razor blades To dull the pain inside, But that can only last so long; I don't want to be alive. I manage to keep my composure When people are around. They wouldn't understand me So I don't make a sound. I smile when I have to. I break down when I don't. I know I should be strong, But I also know I won't So I make a plan to take some pills. It shouldn't take too long. I write out notes to all my friends To read when I am gone. I ask my mom to understand That life is just too hard. My mind can't fight it anymore; My heart is far too scarred. I plan it out so perfectly I even set the date. I'm pretty sure I'm ready; I know this is my fate. My bed is made up neatly As I take them one by one. I start to feel a little scared; I know I'm almost done. All that I can think about Is how I'm letting go, And how much I love my family. I really hope they know. My eyes are getting heavy. My body feels so weak. Everything inside is numb. That's the way it has to be. I'm glad that Mom's not here right now To watch me slowly die, But still I wish that I could say, "I love you and good-bye." I give in to the darkness. I slowly slip away. I hope I go to heaven Where dark night turns to day. I wake up in confusion I don't know where I am. Is this heaven, or is it hell, The land of the eternally damned? |
| ^+^Internal Flame^+^ When asked if she was okay, she turned the other way. When lended out a hand, she turned around and ran. When cared and looked out for, she bottled up some more.. Eventually her soul forgotten, and love has closed its door.. Now she feels regretful pain, love is burning, internal flame. Love was so deep in her, it felt so right inside. Trust came upon her heart and love looked her in the eye. She adored the moments that lasted, she enjoyed the emotion trips. But now that its over her heart begins to rip. The blood feels like it could flow, down through these sorrowed tears, and in the end not mean a thing, Seemingly fighting apon her fears. Now she feels induldging pain, love is burning, internal flame. |
| -*-fate's arrival-*- lost hope with no concern broken down no discern trial and error don't exist if u get this wrong nothing is bliss all of your problems all of your pain thrown in your face all true disdain for how you live for how you die for in the casket while you lie no time for reason no time to think light of no answers death on the brink edge of the water end of the sand swim out to sea can't see the land drown in the ocean of tears you have lost from all the nights that you turned and tossed deep under water with no thought of air you honestly think that nobody cares run from the problems that all too will face can't hide for too long you'll find your place all of your dispair all of you hate will catch up to you and so will your fate |
| >*<Misery>*< This misery, what do you see in me? Through all this pain, I've been through and you see who? Behind my fake smiles, do you realize the real me? Lies dormint inside through all the laughing that isn't real. Through the happiness that I don't really feel. Through the twisted heart thats black and torn apart. Through the depths of my mind, you don't know what you'll find. Through all the images I've seen. Through all the places I've been. Through all the thoughts in my head if you seen them, you'd relize why I want to be dead. Through all the scars on my hands beneath my skin. The real me is hidden underneath the blackness. Underneath the dark is someone craving love. She needs love in her heart. Through the eyes, through the cries, through the tears, and through her fears lies an empty soul fading. Lies an empty soul hateing. Lies an empty soul waiting, waiting for someone to come. Waiting for someone to love. Waiting for someone to be with. Waiting for her love to visit her. |
| +-+Eternal+-+ Cut me open Drain it all Drink from me You will live on Seize this moment Don't walk by Please just do it Don't be shy Carpe Noctume See no light Carpe Noctume Walk at night Eternal life It's what you gain Life supplies What you shall drain Taste of iron Swells your tongue Swallow this crimson And feel so young Carpe Noctume Death arrives Carpe Noctume Human race dies We live on now No humans remain We've answered our needs They all have been slain Town full of corpses With dust blowing round Only night walkers live on Making no sound |
| ~Problems~ Filthy little urchin child For you, death comes in a neat little package Spewed from the mouth Of a roaring blue black monster Only a monster that will haunt none of your dreams As you lay on the ground With your lifeblood and your broken hopes running All around you Running without dignity down a dirty street gutter Soon, very soon You will join the ranks Of your bare-boned comrades Who have all lain freezing without feeling In a dirty street With their lifeblood and their broken hopes running All around them as the busy noise of life goes on |
| *Pills* Reds and yellows, greens and blues Each pill to wash away a part of you Forgotten promises and broken dreams The blood runs thick in the moonlit gleam They all drowned in their own egotistic haze Give me strength to leave this place They tore me down to be built up again As I lose yet another friend Take these drugs and escape this life Twist the flesh upon the knife Empty inside with nothing to feel Please don't fucking let this all be real Unfulfilled but full of hate For me, happiness came to late Sink the cold steel into my wrist When I go, I'll go unmissed Drink it down and kill the pain Watch me as I die in shame One last time, forever true Remember always, I love you |
| H E L P M E |
| ...I bleed for this and I bleed for you... |
| Slit my wrists... |
| Beat Me, and Abuse Me... |
| Love me... |
| Hate me... |
| F u c k M e . . . |
| Hug me... |
| Keep me... |
| ...I Love You... |