| -+-Rules/Statements Of Life-+- By: ~me & Manda~ |
| 1*Fish does NOT belong on a bun 2*You cant think one of ur best friends little brothers is cute... 3*Never masturbate just to see how far you can "shoot it" 4*When one of ur friends shows u his piercing .. in his pants .. dont point laugh and walk away going "I expected a snake but got an inchworm" 5*Never walk up to a guy and ask him if you can touch his winkie 6*If you are over the age of 9 .. dont walk around acting like secret agents 7*Do not tell a 13 year old that you wanna hump his leg 8*Do not shake your bon-bon at the monkeys. 9*Bob IS out to kill you. 10*There IS a better place than home. Fuck Dorathy. 11*Dont drink an entire bottle of everclear and then expect to be sober 4 hours later to go home! 12*Dont drink ur friends alcohol its not nice! 13*Do not hump picnic tables with your bestfriend. (fun times) 14*Do not swim in the lake and get sand in places you didnt kno you had. 15*Don't make fun of your best guy friend's cock size. Its not his fault he stoped growing at the age of 2...or so he tells you... 16*Dont get drunk while camping and dance around the fire singing marrily. 17*Everytime you Masturbate god kills a kitten.. please help control your local kitten population.. MASTURBATE REGULARLY! 18*Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me..how tru 19*Dont do army rolls over your friends while in the tent and you hear a scary noise! lol 20*Do not touch Joey Duenas from Unloco in bad places when he stage dives. |
| 21*Dont headbang to classical music ...its just wrong 22*Dont allow Danny to have Tequilla when hes wearing snappy button pants... 23*Dont give ur friends herpes.. its not nice 24*DONT say THWACK to Buttfuck or Scott!!! 25*Dont shower at someone elses house during an alcohol party and throwup all in their shower!! 26*Dont run naked thru walmart on prom night.. no matter how tempting! 27*Do not tell your ex boyfriend to fuck his tub drain. 28*Taco meat is not supposed to be orange... even if it is school food.... 29*Dont threaten ur mom by telling her you are going to hide her prozac... its just wrong.. on more than one level.... 30*Its just wrong when your mother asks you and your best friend where she can get soem "good strong pain pills" 31*Bond with carnies a C-fest.... 32*If someone asks you.. if you are a vampire simply smile seductively and walk away quietly. 33*Its not right for a guy named buttfuck to bite you. 34*Correct me if im wrong but the hallway at school should not smell like ass and a pet store...like the redneck hallway.. 35*The freak hallway should not look like a massive orgy.. tho it does! 36*Repeat after me...FREAKS ARE NOT FIRE HAZARDS! 37*I am not fire proof. I will not put Everclear on my best friend and ignite him. 38*If your principal is starring at you its not right for you and your best friends to turn to him and scream "Hey you fat bastard im not cream filled so stop looking at me like that!" 39*Sticks are NOT magick... simply things to start fire with! 40*Do not fear the special ed kids at school. |
| 41*The mad cows are out to get me and Leona. They followed us to New York. 42*Cows have poor vision tho! 43*Do not dress Angela up in a duck suite and get her drunk just to teach her to say QUACK! 44*There are no U-Turns in Myanus. 45*Leona will not WANT the koreans 46*I sure hope they kept the recipt. lmao Right Manda? lolol 46*POOF! Tom, kittys that blow up are not that funny. And no, your not a thug. Im sorry sweetie. 47*the string cheese kicked your ass Tom 48*Do not 'steal' the DVD movie from your friends before they get to watch it. 49*Dont leave your handcuffs on your boyfriend's best friend's dad's bed. Dosent make for good first impresions. 50*Dont argue with your best friend's sister about whether or not they are cock-cuffs or finger-cuffs. 51*Don't sqeeuze the Charmin. 52*Always carry pepper spray and a knife when meeting new people. lol 53*To whom ever killed Brandon Lee....Watch your mutha fukin back bizatch. fuckers... 54**Beware of the Gaytrix. (Right nikki!?) 55*Dont sing "Cuz imma mutha fucking P.I.M.P." to ur best friend and sister over the phone... tis so very wrong... 56*No shaking it "Right Thurr". 57*Its not right for your best friends little sister to listen to a song called "Murder Is Masturbation"! 58*Do not beat your health teacher in the head with a ruler screaming "BAD FETUS!". 59*When you get someone drunk, they are your responsiblity! 60*Me and Manda always get stuck dating the PSYCHOS!! |
| 61**Condoms are like friends...always there when things get hard. 62*Don't piss us off....We have shovels...no one will miss you 63*FUCK YOU FETUS! lolol 64*I will never get into another RED vehicle again. 65*Dounuts are like my friend Devin...Round and hollow in the middle. 66*Do not sit up til three am with ur best friend thinking of stupid things to write in your "rules and statements on life" section in ur subprofile. 67*BUT WHY IS THE RUM GONE???? 68*No.. Im Serious... WHY IS THE RUM GONE? 69*Kyle wants to know why is the rum gone?.... 70*Prom night ... fun ... nakedness ...? er i mean.. *cough*.... 71*All freak guys must wear skirts to prom!! 72*When life throws you lemons throw them back and life and tell life to make its own fucking lemonade... 73*From the window to the wall....... lmao.. long story behind that song.. 74*Cuz we're mutha fuckin P.I.M.P.'s 75*Dont try and raise the dead for sexual purposes just because you cant get it anywhere else.... 76*It isnt right that WV has to have a law stating an animal has to be over a certain weight before you can fuck it 77*Manda: "Leona, Im not going to duct tape Jason to the wall.. get those thoughts out of your mind!!" 78*Dont hump the life-sized LOTR cardboard cutouts in the CD store at the Town Center.. 79*(In Russian accent) 1,2,3,4,5,6,7.. 7 settings for optimum comfort all of which i will gladly show you now.. 80*I mean $5000 I could buy a fucking car for that... |
| 81*Hey tree, you swayin in the wind? 82*I hope you loose your chewy goodness 83*Look Im Legolas!! *ties self to bed* OO im exciting myself!! LMFAO 84* Dont get drunk with your two best friends and their parents .. theres just something wrong there 85*ME: "Hey Chad, if i kick over that trash can over there will you arrest me and put me in the back of the cop car.. wait is it heated?" lol Chad: "Yeah, the keys are in it just go get in" Me: "Nah, Im alright.. id just feel wrong getting into the back of the cop car willingly .. im usually hiding from them" Chad: *laughs* "I know what you mean..." 86* (Me: *looks at manda and smirks) *plays Korn/Slipknot song* "Manda, I could just imagine this part in the song when Jonathan Davis goes "No" all demonically.. as Dominic.... just kinda like .. you'd say after you kinda tie him to the wall "Hey, Dom.. want me to play nice and take it easy?" Then he'd like smirk evilly and do the demonic "no" thing and yeah... " lol *Manda giggles uncontrollably* 87* I can speak whale!! *really slow speaking* We... neeeeeeed tooooo fiiiiiiiinnnnnnnndddddddd... his son... caaaannnnn yooooouuuuuuu ggggggiiiiiiiiivvvvvveeeeeeeeeee uuussssss diiiiiiiireeeeeeeeeectionnns... 88*Wheres my jingle jingle bitch? 89*Dont make me use the chi... ooo fear the chi!! lol 90*Do not fear spirits! THEY CANT HURT YOU! 91*If your gonna be a dick, then have the balls to be a dick to someones face 92*Go see Dawn of the Dead! OR ELSE! 93*Danny isn't "flat" enough for Beth! 94*Me:"sherry ur a whore!" *Danny laughs uncontrollably* 95*Me:"My words 'blasphemy', whats ur?" Devin: "Eaighahhgahhh!!!" Me: "Can u spell that?" Tiffany: "Well, I'd say 'eaighahhgahhh with a few accent marks at the end" 96*::Flaps arms like chicken and says:: MOOOO 97*Manda:Leona repeat aftet me...I will not fall down the stairs when Tommus touches my hand. I will not get excited when he runs up the stairs screaming ORGY! 98*Dont question ur sister when she gets up in hte middle of the night and gets things out of the freezer. 99*Don't ask your best friend to tie you up. heh 100*Guys are suppose to wear boxers...NOT the scary underwear. Icky Icky Icky |
| 101*Never sit up with your best friend till 3am telling your mother stories about when you got drunk over summer vacation. 102*If you like a guy, fucking his brother is NOT the way to get him to notice you. 103*Bushes are not for fucking in. 104*Do not bite your cousins female friends on the boob in public. PHILIP! 105*Repeat after me...Horse whips hurt like fucking hell! 106*Manda: Leona's ear is a whore. 107*Me, Manda, Alicia= GRIND DANCERS 4 LIFE MUTHA FUCKA! 108*MANDA IS THE TIC TAC TOE GOD! 109*I AM THE DOMINO GOD 110*Me: "Nonie ur funny" Nonie: "I dont wanna be funny i wanna be hated".. Me: "WAIT!! did you just say you didnt wanna be loved that you wanna give head?" Nonie: "WHAT OMG" lol 111*You cannot file for child support on an egg you have to carry for class!! lol 112*Link and Magenta (the psycho bunnys) will own ALL! 113*Dont watch your boyfriend masturbate over a webcam lmao |
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| Im a fucking ice fairy LOOK!!! |
| WHEEEEEEE!!!! |
| CH-CH-CH-CHIA!!! |