- the site is dedicated to the memory of Mr. Patrick Butler.

Today is the first blog entry, but it is on a rather unfortunate date.  My dance teacher of 14 years, a great man, passed away this past week, and today is the viewing.  Tommorow is the wake and the funeral itself, and as if this all wasn't enough, he had a request for us to come in full dance regalia (dresses, wigs, and all).  Every dancer he's ever taught (or nearly all) will be there in full costume to pay their last respects.  I think that it may be too much for me, and I just have to keep reminding myself that he hated me crying when I messed up at dance, and he would wouldn't want want me crying now.  It's just very hard to think of that fact that a person who was there for a good 14 odd years of my life is just not there anymore... it's a hard concept to wrap your mind around.  I have yet to resign myself to the fact that I probably will never see him again as long as I live (I say "probably" because... us Irish have our beliefs and superstitions about the supernatural visits that may or may not happen, and we are hard pressed to relinquish those beliefs, even in the modern culture we're in now).  I just keep listening to "Sons and Daughters" by The Decemberists because it's the least depressing song on my play list, and I let it lift my spirits. 

I have an odd way of coping with the grief, however.  My sister liked to wallow in it, and has been moping. Therefore, because that's what she understands, she wonders that I don't react that way too, and thinks that I don't care. Of course, my mother has done her best to de-bunk this misunderstanding, but as I don't talk to my sister, she hasn't heard it straight from my mouth, some doubt still exists; I can see it.

My friend's coming over for the first time in ages (since she left for college, I believe... how strange) on the morrow, and a beastly hour it will be.  7:30, or so, I told her.  I'm not attending school because of the service, and I'm sadder for it.  Not that I'll miss being in school, but I would rather not have this service.  I would rather he was still here with his ornery self.  Back to the matter of my friend, she's on spring break and wants to pay her respects.  she hasn't met him but 2 or 3 times, but he leaves such an impression on a person, one can't help but want to see him off (even if it's just an adjudicator who wants to make sure his old "enemy's" dead, but ends up crying just as hard as the rest of us).  O well, enough on that topic... I should continue with the web-pages.

See you at the great Feis Mr. Butler... this isn't the end.