Houses in Heaven

I just heard a knock on my door.

When I answered, there were two young college students holding bibles on my doorstep.

For some reason I was offended by this.

"We're taking a survey of people in your neighborhood. Do you have a minute?"

"No." I replied.

"Do you mind if we give you one of THESE?" she asked, handing me the proverbial tract.

"Sure. Why not." I took it and closed the door.

"TIME IS SHORT" it announces, "Let Me Ask You a Question..."

"If you died today, do you know that you would go to heaven?"

"HERE IS HOW TO KNOW -"

It appears to be an 8-step program. I'd better get right on it.