Author: Lyta Padfoot
Category: Humor, General
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of J.K. Rowling. Characters and situations are used without permission, no infringement is intended.
Summary: Luna and her father discuss Muggles while on holiday in Sweden.
Author's Note: The quote is from Macbeth, Act IV, Scene I.
Morganstern is the author of The Princess Bride ;) According to Mr. Goldman, Morganstern brought a house with the proceeds of the book but since he didn't own the timber rights he saw his land completely deforested. He included a rant on the subject while his characters where in danger in Buttercup's Baby.
* * *
The Lovegoods hung their food from a tree where the Snorkacks would not be able to reach it. The Crumple-Horned Snorkack was active by night and seldom took food from locals, only travellers. As they were also very shy, it accounted for the small number of people who believed in them, not that there were a great many locals living above the Artic Circle. Luna and her father Flooed to Kiruna and had been through at least six local guides, none of whom were very open-minded. Luna finally obtained directions to a particular area of Sweden known for Snorhack sightings from a wizard in a pub. At least she thought they were directions, it was either that or a knitting pattern.
In Sweden, it grew dark quite late in the summer, but neither Luna nor her father were at all tired. Their quarry was nocturnal so it made sense for them to be as well. So they made a fire and sat around it toasting bread and telling stories. Darkness would not fall for several hours.
Luna shook her head at her father's latest tale; her father was a great man, but sometimes he enjoyed teasing her. "Dad, Muggles are quite intelligent. Hermione Granger told me they even have a type of bread that is already sliced for you. They would never believe in something as silly as that."
Maybe Sweden was affecting him. There were not many trees on the tundra, just a lot of moss and lichen, and her dad always said places without trees made him uneasy. Luna had heard him mutter quotes from Morganstern's tree essay all day.
Her father's eyes were owlish behind his spectacles. "Sliced bread? What a marvel! But, I assume you it is true. We have been deceiving them for centuries and have only ourselves to blame for the result," Mr. Lovegood thought it was past time to reacquaint Muggles with magic. According to their neighbour Arthur Weasley, Muggles had evolved and created wonderful things like electric toasters, digital watches, and now sliced bread. He looked at the loaf he had mangled trying to slice it for toasting.
His voice took on an eerie quality as he recited:
"Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and owlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
"That isn't a charm, it's obviously a potion," Luna pointed out as she nibbled on her toast. It really needed butter or perhaps herring. Luna was very fond of pickled herring. "And everyone knows newt and snake are never used in the same potion."
"Muggles don't know that," her father said. "They still believe dragons and Heliopaths are fictitious."
"But they have sliced bread," Luna reminded him.
"An incredible achievement," her father agreed. He resolved to find some of this wonder bread when they returned to England. Maybe they could take some on their next adventure.