Author: Lauren Moon
Category: General, Angst
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of J.K. Rowling. Characters and situations are used without permission, no infringement is intended.
Summary: We follow Luna through several events during her fourth year and watch her assessing her life. Based on Challenge 8: enjoy!
Author's Notes: Oh, by the way, this is my first fanfic. So be harsh if you will, but please not TOO harsh. So, yeah...
* * *
Alone. A-l-o-n-e.
The word had always sounded strange to Luna Lovegood.
Being alone had never bothered her, it was natural. Luna was the sort of person who enjoyed her own company. Mind you, Luna had never had much choice.
She had always wondered to herself how you could be alone: her thoughts and books always kept her company. In her head she could make anyone she wanted to speak to her, imagine anything. And voices spoke to her from books and magazines. Luna Lovegood was never alone.
She ran her finger along the words on the front of her magazine, The Quibbler.
Her Father worked for The Quibbler, and she read it religiously.
She loved her father. He did a very good job of being two parents...
Luna fiddled with her necklace distractedly. It was one of her favourites, she had made it herself. For most of the summer holidays between her first and second years at Hogwarts she had collected Butterbeer corks and threaded them on to a piece of string.
She decided to make herself comfortable, so tucked her wand behind her ear for safekeeping and settled down to read The Quibbler.
And that was when she got interrupted.
"Hi, Luna," Said a voice from the door. "Is it ok if we take these seats?"
Luna Lovegood looked up. It was Ginny, with two boys.
She nodded.
* * *
It was lunchtime.
Luna was sitting, slightly cut off from the rest of her house.
Not eating, though.
She wasn't hungry. She never ate when she was hungry. But Luna was rarely hungry. So Luna rarely ate.
She wasn't unhealthy: she ate enough to stay alive, and often ate a large amount when she WAS hungry.
People had given up telling her to eat properly. Not many people had ever told her in the first place, though, really. Very few people noticed her.
Luna preferred things this way. She would much rather observe people than talk to them, anyway.
* * *
Transfiguration class, mid-November.
It was already snowing lightly outside, with bitingly cold winds sweeping across the grounds and the windows quickly steaming up.
Luna was trying to transfigure a cushion into a cuddly toy. It should not have been too difficult, as the stuffing was there and the principle was simple: they were focusing on details.
She sat listening to the people in front making plans. A young boy and girl, obviously dating from the way they talked. Luna wondered, suddenly, what it was like to go out with someone, but she quickly shook it off.
"So, meet by the lake at 7:00, yes?" Grinned the girl, breathlessly.
"Sorry, I can't tonight. I have a lot of homework.
"Oh, you're no fun anymore."
Luna smiled. Then giggled. Then laughed. And, suddenly, she was guffawing loudly, her cries of laughter echoing through the suddenly quiet classroom.
"You... said... no... fun... saw... that... TV!" She laughed even louder, crying with mirth.
The couple gave her a funny look and screeched their desk forwards, away from her.
Eventually, she fell off her chair and coughed.
She stood up, wiping her eyes, then climbed back into her seat and continued to work.
Some turned around to glare at her, but most just carried on.
This had happened before, and it probably wouldn't be the last time: she was, after all, Luna Lovegood.
* * *
Luna was sitting in the library, among several books.
Ginny came and sat down opposite her.
"Ready for the DA meeting tonight?"
Luna nodded. She was enjoying the meetings and was sure it would make her father proud.
"So, Luna, what you doing?"
"Well," Luna smiled "I'm researching Fudge."
"Fudge?"
Luna nodded.
"I suspect that he's deliberately ignoring Harry because he KNOWS Voldemort is back."
Ginny winced at the name, then frowned. Was this a relatively sensible suggestion from Luna Lovegood? Loony Lovegood? Ginny had been expecting something about Goblins, but no.
"Really?" Asked Ginny, genuinely interested. "So, why?"
Luna lowered her voice conspiratorially.
"You see, Ginny, he IS Voldemort."
Ginny winced.
"But, Luna, he-" Ginny shrugged.
Let her believe what she wanted. She was Luna Lovegood.
* * *
Luna walked away from Harry, smiling vaguely.
She had talked to him. She even suspected that she may have helped with Sirius' passing.
Harry and her were not so different. They had both lost people who were close to them. And they both felt alone, in a way. Harry, at least at the moment, felt alone on the inside.
But Luna shook her head: she was never alone.
She looked down.
"Aren't I?" She spoke aloud to herself. "There's a difference between the people who exist and the people in my head. And the people in my heart. But, no. It doesn't bother me. I... I am never alone."
She spoke the last part quietly, as though she wasn't sure she believed it. She tried again.
"I am Luna Lovegood. And I am not alone. I am never alone. Am I?"
Luna looked down at herself. Who was she? What was she doing, really? Where were her friends and her boyfriends and people who looked at her and waved instead of glared.
"Luna? Are you coming to dinner, then?" Harry was behind her. "Only... you're sort of going the wrong way."
"I don't know... I mean, I'm not hun-" Luna shrugged. "Ok, Harry. Thank you. I'll come."
Luna smiled to herself.
'I am not alone. Not now.'