| Ok, I have to get psyched up for this. Gotta be alright to go to work by three. |
| nooooooooooooo |
| why? |
| nooooooooooooo i cant i jus cant nononononononononono |
| i don't want to go either, but... why is it so bad? i don't understand! |
| the people |
| what? |
| its the people thats so bad |
| what people? |
| bein around all those people i cant stand it |
| why? |
| im scared please dont make me go |
| im sorry |
| (cries) |
| (cries) |
| please cant you stop makin us do things? we're so tired (cries) |
| LOUD RINGING STATIC LOUD RINGING |
| (silence) |
| didn't you hear what i said? maybe a little blood will make you listen! |
| why are you talking like that!!! fuck you!!! |
| fuck you bitch, if you think you're gonna drag these kids somewhere like that one more time you'd better think again |
| i...i...i... |
| you fucking well know what i mean, too. |
| mallory why are you doing this? what's wrong with you? |
| because you won't fucking listen, thats why. you are so fucking self-centered that you can't even listen to them. you think its not important. |
| but i dont get why its so important??? |
| because they are there with you when you go, dumbass. you take them with you everywhere. |
| but can't they just go inside when i go to work? |
| no, they can't. whenever you're around a lot of people, they'll be there. you can bet on it. |
| but why? |
| because they're scared, and they don't trust you to protect them. and i don't blame them either. |
| i wouldn't let anybody hurt them! |
| bullshit! how would you even know what hurts them? do you? |
| no. |
| well then let me fucking fill you in. having to talk to strangers hurts them. not being able to leave anyplace hurts them. having to serve somebody hurts them. old men hurt them. worrying about making mistakes hurts them. thinking they can't do a job as good as you can and they'll get in trouble hurts them. |
| whoa! wait a minute! are you telling me that they are WORKING??? |
| yes, you dumbass, they're working. why do you think your back went out??? |
| WHAT??? |
| you think they're strong enough to lift those bags all day? |
| oh my god | .
| did you really not know? |
| no. (cries) |
| i'm sorry i freaked on you man. i though you were ignoring them on purpose. |
| no, i swear mallory, i didn't know. i thought it was one of you guys working when i wasn't there. |
| are you kidding? i'm in no hurry to do THAT job, thank you very much. |
| why them? why are they doing this? |
| i don't know. but they can't help it. we get around people, and there they are. i don't think they like it much either, but it's like they're just...thrown out. |
| i feel sick. |
| me too. |
| can we not go back there? is that what this means? |
| i think you know what's gonna happen if you do. |
| (silence) |
| lysergia, i know you don't want to hear this, but i gotta do what i gotta do. i can't let you or anybody else keep putting them out there, terrified out of their damned minds all the time. you might not always hear them, but i do. i live with them. they're going crazy, and that's why you feel crazy. they can't eat or sleep half the time anymore, and that's why you can't. |
| but it's only been a month! |
| it started before that. they had to stay out all the time to watch the roommates too. did you think you could just move in with a bunch of men and have it be instantly okay? especially that one that yells like you-know-who? |
| yeah, i knew they heard that, and i knew how scared they were. |
| lysergia, they need to be safe enough to go back inside for awhile. don't underestimate what might happen if they have to be out and go through that for much longer. you do know that it's them who cuts, right? |
| yes, and YOU too, so don't pass the buck on that one. |
| i have to do it for them sometimes. it's my job. |
| i don't want to fight about that right now. i have to figure out what to do. |
| you already know what to do. you just don't want to. |
| but we need the money!!!! how the hell else are we going to live???? |
| what you're talking about is paying the bills. what I'M talking about is living. big difference. |
| (silence) okay, so how are we going to pay the bills then? |
| we'll work at home, all of us. we'll help. |
| but that might take forever to get money! |
| look, we have about a month until the money runs out. am i right? |
| yeah. |
| so we have a month to make sure we are getting paid. you already started this, so it's no different from what you already wanted to do. we'll work in shifts to make sure we cover all the bases. other people make money doing this, and there's no reason we can't be one of them. |
| i just don't believe it. i don't believe we can do it quick enough. |
| ok then, let's cut a deal. if you haven't seen any money from this in two weeks, we'll make other arrangements. |
| if it was just us, i would say yes. but what about R? |
| what about R? R is a big boy, and if he can't handle this decision then he has choices too. he's working, he can look after himself. |
| but when i have no money, he gets stuck with the bills. |
| and if he doesn't want to be stuck with them, he can say so. i'm sorry man, but this is not about him. it's about us. we cannot accomodate your need for his respect anymore. we appreciate what he does, but if he doesn't do it then we will find a place to recover. he will never tell you "oh lysergia i'm so glad you're quitting your job so you won't lose your marbles", so if you're waiting for his permission for you to look after yourself and us then you might as well hand over the razor blades now. you have to be the one to give that permission, honey. no matter who doesn't like it. |
| (silence) |
| i'll do it. if you can't, i will. |
| (silence) |
| you have got to make a decision, lysergia. you're supposed to work today. |
| (silence) ok do it. i know i'll chicken out, so go do it. do it right though, and write them a letter. or i'll write the letter, you just go give it to them. |
| alright man, i can do that. and i promise i'll be nice, unless they give me shit. |
| do you promise you will not get into a fight with R about this? |
| i promise no such thing. |
| mallory! |
| well, fuck.... what do you want me to say? that if he flips his wig and goes off about it that i won't say anything? fat chance. |
| look, he has a right to be worried and frustrated. |
| yes, but not to guilt you into doing something we cannot do. |
| what makes you think he'll do that? you ever think maybe i feel guilty no matter what he says? |
| yeah that too, but he sure doesn't go out of his way to agree with you when it comes to this stuff. |
| thats another argument too. i can't get into this right now. |
| i agree. let's do it. |
| (sigh) okay. |
| hey you know what? |
| what? |
| i'm proud of you, man. i didn't think you'd have the guts. |
| gee, thanks. |
| no man i'm serious. i figured you'd be more concerned about making R happy than looking after the kids and the rest of us, including yourself. but you're learning. |
| you too apparently... i can't believe you just said something nice hehehehe |
| fuck you. |
| hehehehe mall? |
| yeah? |
| thanks. |
| yeah man you too. |
| (cries) |