| "..." dialogue /.../ thoughts //...// flashbacks *...* emphasis |...| Smartass Inner Voices (tm) <...> Eerie Disembodied Voices (tm) @)~~}~~~~ Soul's Winter Prologue: Boy, Was *That* Some Bad Catnip! "Are you nervous?" Usagi bubbled, as Makoto put the final touches on Ami's hair. Ami smiled broadly and started to speak, but Minako hushed her. "Don't move your face!" she commanded, applying with deft strokes the makeup that would complete the image. "There," she announced, sounding deeply satisfied. "I'm done," Makoto said at almost the same moment. "I'm *not*," Rei said authoritatively. "Ami, don't move your fingers one bit until I'm sure the polish is dry." "Oooo, Ami, you look gorgeous!" Usagi exclaimed, jumping up and down in excitement. "You're going to wow everyone today." "Of course she is," Minako said briskly. "It's her job for the day." "Um... can I see?" Ami asked shyly, barely daring to speak. "Oh... right!" Makoto exclaimed, grabbing a mirror and holding it up for Ami's inspection. Ami gasped in amazement. "Oh, wow, you guys... You've done a great job." Rei giggled. "Actually, Ami, you've done most of the work yourself--You're so happy, you're glowing!" She inspected the manicure carefully. "Okay, the polish is dry." Dr. Mizuno entered the room. "Are you ready, girls?" she asked. "It's time." Ami stood cautiously and smiled at her mother happily. "I'm ready." Rich, majestic music rolled out of the chapel doors as one by one her friends proceeded up the aisle, beaming at the men at their sides. Minako and Kunzite... Makoto and Nephrite... Usagi and Mamoru... and last, (mostly by default), Rei and Zoisite... "Ready, sweetheart?" her father asked her, as Rei and Zoisite took their places on either side of the altar. "Yes," Ami sighed wholeheartedly, as the music stopped, and then began to play again. The doors opened wide, and Ami began walking proudly down the aisle on her father's arm, hope and love shining in her eyes at the sight of the tall, blond man waiting for her at the altar. A wide, joyous smile lit his handsome features, as if he couldn't quite believe his own good fortune... Ami blinked, as the organist hit a sour note as she played the wedding march. Suddenly the altar seemed so very far away. There was another sour note, and another, and then a cascading cacophony as the aisle lengthened impossibly. "No!" Ami protested, dropping her bouquet and beginning to run down the aisle, to the ever-retreating man waiting at the end of it. She couldn't bear to lose him... "Jadeite!" Ami sat up in bed, her breath coming in ragged sobs and her pajamas clammy with her own sweat. The dark, familiar shapes of her own bedroom confronted her with their ordinariness. "A dream," she whispered into the darkness, drawing her knees up to her chest and hugging them. "Just a dream..." She buried her face in her arms and began to cry very softly. "Ami?" Dr. Mizuno opened the door and peeked in. "Are you all right?" "I'm fine, Mom," Ami managed to reply, in a voice just above a whisper. The doctor, knowing better, entered her daughter's bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. "Ami, I know there are parts of your life that I know nothing about, but I can tell when there's something bothering you... You've been like this for the past two weeks. Please tell me what's going on." Ami leaned into her mother's shoulder, wondering how she could explain the loss of her one true love and the loss of a good friend. "Did something happen between you and Greg?" Dr. Mizuno probed. "You never try to return his calls." "It's not Greg," Ami said softly. "Is it--" her mother paused, uncertain. "Is there something wrong between you and Jadeite?" At the choked whimper this elicited, her eyes grew wide. "If he's hurt you--" "He's dead." "What?" Dr. Mizuno asked, stunned. Jadeite, that vibrant, laughing young man, was dead? "My God, Ami..." Her daughter, in halting words, told the story of Chibi Usa's mysterious arrival, of the Dark Moon family, of the trip to the future, and of the horrific battle against the Doom Phantom. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry about your friends..." "Jadeite was much more than a friend!" Anguished, Ami turned away. "I love--*loved*--him." "But you only knew him for a short time," the doctor protested, mystified by the passion in her young daughter's voice. "I knew Jadeite in the Silver Millennium," Ami said hollowly, voice ancient. "And I loved him then, too, even though I never admitted it to myself..." She looked back at her mother, the moonlight from the window shining silver on the wetness of her cheeks. "At least this time I managed to tell him how I felt." ~*~ Sleep refused to come, not matter how hard she tried. Giving it up as hopeless, Minako slid from bed and wrapped herself in a robe. She padding over to her window, settling herself on the window sill and surveying the trees outside with pain-haunted blue eyes. She stared up at the nearly full Moon, lost in thought. Had it really been a millennium since she had served as leader of the Inner Sailor Scouts, the protectors of Princess Serenity? Had it really been only two weeks since *he* had died? Minako sighed deeply and leaned her head back, resting it against the wall. She knew her parents were worried about her recent change in behavior--The serious, thoughtful part of her that had lain dormant since her days on the Moon had come back with her memories of the period. She tried, as best she could, to appear as cheerful and normal for their sakes, but sometimes... the mask slipped, and she wasn't able to fool them. Of course, what was she supposed to tell them? "Oh, yeah, Mom, Dad, I'm really Sailor Venus, and I lead the Sailor Scouts, and two weeks ago I watched the man I loved a thousand years ago die to save his lover. What's been on *your* minds lately?" It might take them all of five minutes to telephone the nearest mental institution. No, it was better to let them think as they preferred and keep her secrets close to her heart. "Minako?" "Yeah, Artemis?" she asked, as the white cat uncurled himself from his spot on her pillow. He and Luna had finally reappeared from their catnip-inspired adventure, only to find that the Scouts had all changed. The cat was silent for a long moment. "Thinking about him again?" /Poor Artemis... This must be such a strain for you and Luna,/ Minako thought sadly. "Yeah, I'm thinking about him again." "Is there anything I can do?" he asked hesitantly, leaping from the bed and springing into her lap. Minako smiled. "No, not really. I'll be all right... I guess." She stroked his fur, sparking a low purr from the feline. "I wish Luna and I could remember," he mumbled indistinctly. "Then maybe I'd be able to understand..." "Understand what? How we can be so madly in love with former enemies?" Minako laughed bitterly. "Well, yes," the cat admitted. "No matter how I look at it, it feels unnatural to me. I just can't shake the feeling that this is all the fault of that catnip Luna slipped me." Minako giggled and rubbed his ears. "Poor, poor Artemis..." ~*~ Leaning her head on the windowsill, Usagi sighed heavily as she stared up at the Moon. /Mother, can *you* tell me why it has to be so unfair?/ she asked silently, thinking of her friends, both living and dead. /Why did they have to lose their second chances just as they got them?/ "Usagi, shouldn't you be studying?" Luna asked her mistress, more from the force of habit than anything else. "I've already taken care of it, Luna," Usagi replied absently. The cat eyed the girl's back suspiciously, and then rifled through the stack of homework. Amazingly, it was all completed. Luna blinked, and then picked a homework problem at random. "If you have a right triangle with hypotenuse of ten and a leg of eight-" "The other leg is six units long," Usagi mumbled. "Geez, Luna, don't you trust me to have done it?" "You really *did* do your homework," Luna breathed. "Usagi, are you feeling all right?" "No... Luna, why do bad things have to happen to good people?" the princess asked disconsolately. "Jadeite and Kunzite didn't deserve to die... Ami and Minako--and Zoisite--didn't deserve to have their boyfriends taken away like that." The cat jumped to the windowsill in order to face Usagi fully. /So that's what this is all about.../ "Usagi, don't you think that you and the girls are taking the deaths of a pair of Negacreeps awfully hard?" "Luna! Don't ever say anything like that again!" Usagi snapped, startling the cat with her vehemence. "Jadeite and Kunzite were not Negacreeps, they were our friends. Beryl may have warped them for her own evil plans, but in the end, they proved themselves to be loyal--and true..." She closed her eyes regretfully. "Even Rei has managed to forgive them for the time they spent in the Negaverse, and you know how stubborn the princess of Mars can be." Luna turned to look up at the Moon. "I wish I remembered, too." "It wouldn't do you any good. You never knew Endymion's guardians. Somehow, we all managed to keep you and Artemis in the dark--right until the very end, when it all crumbled around our ears." Usagi shook her head. "If only Endymion and I hadn't been so wrapped up in our own affair, maybe we could have prevented what happened." "..." The cat couldn't think of any comforting words for her mistress. ~*~ "The Moon's almost full tonight." "Mmmm." Makoto snuggled a little closer to Nephrite, reveling in the feel of having his arm wrapped tightly around her. "'S pretty." "You're prettier," Nephrite told her. He glanced down at her blush and laughed. "It's true." "I love it when you tell me things like that," Makoto sighed happily. "I know you do." Nephrite pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "How did I get so lucky?" "I'd call it good karma, but..." Makoto laughed a little ruefully. "Somehow, I just don't think it fits your case too well." "Probably not," he admitted. "I've done some pretty impressively wicked things..." "It wasn't your fault," Makoto cut him off authoritatively. "Beryl was the one to blame. Always remember that." "I just wish--" Nephrite shook his head. "I just wish I could have kept it all from happening. There are so many things that I regret doing..." "Shh. Don't torture yourself, Neph," Makoto soothed him. "You've got a second chance to make it all right... Don't waste it on guilt. You've got much more important things to worry about." "Such as?" he inquired, lifting his eyebrows curiously. "Me." Makoto grinned impishly and pulled his face down, pressing coaxing lips against his. The Moon shone serenely down on the two lovers. ~*~ /Why is it that I can't remember?/ Rei asked herself, staring blindly into the sacred flames of the temple. /Why amI the only member of the Scouts who doesn't have a clue about what happened in the Silver Millennium?/ "Um, Rei?" Yuichiroi's tentative voice interrupted her brooding. "It's getting kind of late... Shouldn't you be going to bed or something?" "Yeah, in a little while, Yuichirou." Rei held as much of her frustration out of her voice as she was able. It wouldn't be fair to lash out at Yuichirou because of her own shortcomings as a Scout. Besides, he was only concerned about her well-being. "Are you okay, Rei?" he asked. "I'm fine." She couldn't keep all of the bite out of her voice. "Oh... Okay then, if you're sure. Good night, Rei," he mumbled, his voice subdued. /Damn it./ Rei bowed her head, ashamed of herself. /Why can't I just be nice to him for once? Why is it so hard for me to reciprocate his affection?/ |Because he wants something from you that you can't give him, dummy. He loves you.| /I wish he didn't care so much. Then it would be easier.../ |To do what? Crush his heart like a roach under your boot?| her inner voice taunted her. |That's what you're going to end up doing, you know. One of these days, you'll snap and lash out at him one time too many...| /Then what am I supposed to do? Go on pretending that I feel more for him than I do?/ Rei argued with herself. |Maybe you should talk to him about how you feel. It's a crazy idea, but it just might work, you know.| /I would... It's just... Grandpa is so happy about the two of us... It's like his dream come true or something,/ Rei sighed unhappily. /I don't want to disappoint him, too./ |You *are* an idiot.| /I know.../ ~*~ Zoisite sat hunched over his drink, morosely staring at the patterns of the wood grain of the table. /How long have I been in this place?/ he wondered vaguely, tossing back the last of the alcohol in the glass. "Gimmee another," he ordered the barkeeper. "Don't you think you've had enough?" came the reply. Zoisite glared at the man fiercely. "I'll tell you when I've had enough." Impassive, the barkeeper shook his head. "Look, pal, it's getting late. Do yourself a favor and go home to sleep it off." The little sakura shot a dirty look at the barkeeper, but wasn't in the mood to contest the point. Staggering out to the street, Zoisite began the arduous task of walking home. Home. Now there was a painful thought. He didn't have a home. He just had a place to sleep at night because Nephrite had been generous in offering him a room in his drafty old house. No, that wasn't a home, not to Zoisite. He blinked at the blurry double image of the Moon. "It wasn't supposed to be like this," he mumbled. "Damn it, Kunzite, what were you thinking?" |Stupid. He was thinking about you.| "Nobody asked him to," Zoisite grumbled. |Since when has that ever stopped Kunzite?| "Good point." Zoisite had to agree with his snotty inner voice. Kunzite never had let anyone's opinions stand in his way for long. "Idiotic Ice King. He had a real chance to be happy again with Minako." |You're feeling generous tonight.| "I'm drunk. I can afford to be generous." Zoisite stared fiercely at a couple that had paused to give him odd looks as he walked down the street, talking to the think air. "What're you looking at?" |You, you idiot.| "Shut up, I didn't ask you," Zoisite told himself. He looked inquiringly at the couple. "Well?" "Nothing, ma'am," the guy said nervously. Zoisite's emerald eyes went wide with indignation as his inner voice howled with laughter. "Ma'am?!" he screeched. "I'll show you ma'am, you little punk--" It was too late. The couple had fled the wrath of Zoisite. Feeling petty, the lithe guardian summoned an ice crystal anyway and slammed it into an unoffending wall. |Feel better now?| "Yes," Zoisite answered decisively, dusting his hands off. "'Ma'am'. Huh." |Go home, before you get yourself into real trouble--Ma'am.| "Oh, shut up." ~*~ Mamoru laid the pen down. /Well... now what do I do?/ he wondered bleakly. /That's all the homework I can think of to do... I'm caught up and ahead of all my classes... I feel like Ami./ At the thought, he flinched. Thinking of Ami brought up the memories that he had tried to sublimate through excessive work. It was ironic that he could feel the loss of his two guardians so deeply despite having only known them in their present lives for a few days... Then again, maybe it wasn't. Even before his complete memories of the Silver Millennium had returned, he had felt a spark of connection to Jadeite and Kunzite, the same sort of spark he had felt the first time Usagi had bonked him with a wadded-up test. The two men had been a part of his soul, and their deaths left a gaping sore in his heart that would never be completely healed. In addition to his own pain, though, was the pain he felt from Zoisite. By far the most expressive of the group, the guardian left no doubts about how much he hurt due to Kunzite's self-sacrifice. The little sakura was a walking heartache, and he didn't care who knew it. Mamoru buried his head in his hands. /God, Kunzite, I need your help,/ he thought tiredly. /You were always the only one who could get through to Zoisite when he got into these moods... You're the only one he ever listened to on a regular basis./ @}~~}~~~~ Back to Sailor Moon Fanfics Home Back to Bittersweet Next |