mazohyst of decadence
The born child, extracted from an adult
whose sins are without consciousness
I, who am also nameless, do not understand
why I exist only here,
but I am unaware that my life is being counted only in months....
I want to be able to love I want to be born
I stare at the inside of this mother's body
Because it is now the time to bring forth consciousness,
I have felt something early in the second month
Still, I can do nothing That internal plug is....
I, who am incomplete, am a decapitated pain
tearing through a body
My mother's piercing cries do not stop ringing in my ears
A group of adults in white robes have rescued me
In eyes filled with cold-heartedness
I, who has no blood-stained right hand, am reflected
I was bound in black vinyl
As my inner consciousness gradually declines,
I think quietly to myself
If, in the cage, I was able to love,
then that would be okay...but I cannot forgive
It will be better for me to die as I am: unable to love
Therefore, I will not unleash my first cry
Instead, I think that I will just sleep quietly
Just once, I want to try to feel my mother's love with this hand
I am sure whether this is love Thank you
The door which could not be opened twice
was now being rigidly shut
However, I am probably your future self, therefore

This is truly something wonderful, isn't it?
Yes
How many are you?
I am one person, alone
I have fallen in love with innumerable things
Do you forgive me?
Listen! More people..
It is truly wonderful with this, isn't it?
Yes
Is the meal good?
Yes
Well then, let's begin

la la la...

I will burn until the ashes of my skeleton become nothing
Farewell

The title: Mazohyst of decadence

Mazohyst, I believe, should be masochist. He tries to see light and good out of his own murder. After all abortion is a masochism of decadence, today's lifestyle. What a complex way of calling an abortion!

This famously famous song of dir en grey is very obviously about abortion. Kyo is the foetus itself, and seems to know that the mother doesn't want him. He, as a young foetus (normally abortions are carried out within the first 4 months), wants to know the reason why he is being aborted.

He wants to be able to love but cannot, he wants to feel his mother's love but cannot. How sad. He thought that the adults in white robes, the doctors, were saving him, but they were actually killing him.

His body is barely formed properly and he doesn't seem to have a right hand yet. But he is dying soon. He doesn't even have the right to cry his first cry when the mother gives birth.

"I am probably your future self", does that mean that the mother is aborting him because she doesn't want him to grow up like her? Perhaps.

This conversation between the doctor and the mother is a little confusing. I'm not very sure who is talking when, but it seems that the mother is very upset and distressed (she should be!) and the doctor tries to give her some comfort.

The foetus is killed by acid. Acid abortion is very scary. I watched this video of abortion in school last year and it seems that when the baby is aborted, it tries to run away. Acid burning is really horrible. The foetus really turns black and ashy.

Sheesh. Please don't try abortion. It's legalised murder.

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